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I'm me, the me I choose to be. If you want to see more, or hear me perform my pieces you'll find me on YouTube: Cams Kami. Just search ‘Cams intro,’ it’s dedicated to my sister ;) Prequel to ‘My Voice.’ My voice is added starting chapter 64.
The daycare had prepared something special for the children to do for Mother's Day. There were heart shaped cards and the adults wanted us to write "I love you because…"
Some children wrote: "I love my mom because she tells me she loves me," or "Because she cleans my room," or "because she does everything I say."
I got a bit confused on the directions, so they told me to write something that my mom told me a lot. So, I wrote: "I love my mom because she tells me don't do drugs."
my mom's a social worker. She'd come home from work and told me everything I needed to know to protect myself.
One day, while my family was at the park, I saw two women smoking by the pond. (Being the 5-year-old child I was) I walked up to these two ladies and said "You know smoking destroys your lungs (right)?"
([pause] "yeah…" "Okay." And left the dumbfounded audience. They were probably thinking 'where does a 5-year-old kid know these things?'
It was because my mom tells me these things.) I was pretty talkative as a child, (if you couldn't tell).
Before the divorce I would say 'Love ya', like my chore list. 'Mopping, vacuum, sweep the floors, love ya.'
My mother wanted to teach us a lesson with meaning what you say and being aware of that. So, the next time I said "Love ya", she asked, "Why do you love me?"
A few seconds go by.
"Because you're safe." Similar answers followed. (You're safe, nice, my mom, and 'D', all of the above).
But to be honest, I love my mom because she's a hard-working devoted woman. I'm truly grateful for all that she has done for me, and for her courage. She was so strong to get out of a terrible marriage. She's been able to become more of a person, one that can laugh, and smile easily.
Before the divorce when asked her husband why when he said he loved her, he got really mad that she asked.
My mom wanted us to know that we didn't have to say 'I love you,' all the time, and say it to try to feel safer, nor all the time. Because saying 'I love you,' is special.
One day I asked "Mom? Why do you love me? You don't tell me why as often I do."
"I love you because you're my daughter, and my love for you is unconditional. But I also love you for how hard you try, and how you are such a compassionate girl. I'm sorry Camille, I shouldn't have told you I wanted you to tell me why you loved me every time you said it. It was just after the divorce you would say it so often, and I wanted you to mean it, and it to be more special. I know you love me." She wanted me to know that I didn't have to say "I love you" threw words, but through actions too. To really demonstrate our love through acts of kindness, rather than only speaking them. My mom is an amazing woman, and wants the best for me.
It's not bad to say 'I love you,' once in awhile. It's nice to know the qualities in a person, and what you admire about them, as well as doing kind things for them. So now when I tell my mother 'I love you' it's because my mother told me 'Don't do Drugs.'
P.S. I wrote a series of letters to my mom, such as, "why I love you," "Snowflake," "They say it's your birthday," and "A child's wonder."
