Love is painful

Taehyung sat on the shore for around 1 hour not caring anything. He had switched off his phone so that no could disturb his private space.

He took out the amulet that he wore which given to him from his love when they were kids. He felt always comfortable to share his bad days with it. It helped him cheer him up. "It's been long since I got any update about her.

Just few months back dad told me that he is trying to fix my marriage with Sooyoung. Since then I can't control myself. Every minute I was mesmerised about our childhood and think how she must be looking now. I literally fantasized how she looked and she was just the way how imagined." He deeply sighs with a smile carved on his lip.

"My marriage thingy actually started from my brother. He was really behind mom and dad to get married to someone. Like his is already 30 years so of course he will get the urge to marry someone. Our parents agreed to it. Mom started to search girls for him but he gave surprise to everyone. He already had a girlfriend. Mom was a bit furious to know that he had girlfriend.

She was a bit conservative person. She wanted her daughter in laws whom she choose. As a punishment mom told him that he shall only marry after she finds a girl for me. She told us that she wanted her sons to marry at same time. Well this did annoy my brother because he knew I never had a girlfriend. But he knew that I always loved Sooyoung. So in order to make marriage real quick he told my feelings about her to mom and dad. Both of them were happy about it and fixed my marriage with her." He chuckled as he memorized his parents' startled expression.

"Honestly speaking I was so happy that I could do anything for her. I remember that we used to always fight for silly things. Like every time. It didn't matter us whether it was indoor or outdoor. We used to fight as though we were fighter cocks. Whereas our brothers they used to always sit back as though they were watching an action or a comedy movie in theater. But when I reached puberty, things changed. I used to have hatred for her but slowly I started to develop feelings for her. The feelings that i never felt for anyone. It almost made me feel like to mark her as mine. And in this way I began to try a bit have physical contact with her like back hugging or pinning her to the wall or slapping her ass whenever I had a chance. Well by that time I became a playboy. That's why. It was the only way to show others that she belonged to me and none." He smiled looking ahead at the waves.

" But when I was in college I came to know about Sooyoung having a boyfriend. I was pretty much shocked and heart broken inside but acted as though I didn't care. I was the first one from all her contacts to know that she was in a relationship. I knew who it was. He was my brother's as well as her brothers's best friend, Taemin, Park Taemin. I could always see that he could make smile, laugh and loved without putting much effort. He could do the things which I couldn't do to her or never tried at least. I was jealous of him. I envied him. This made me mad and furious. Since then I became a cold hearted playboy. I started to play with the feelings of many girls who cared a lot about me more than she did. But I couldn't accept those love because I fell hard for her." His heart ached, throat dry and eyes daring to tear if he continued.

"She saw me as a pervert. She would always be on self guard when she was around me. I could see how she changed. She never told anyone about her and Taemin. She was happy with her relationship with Taemin. Before their 3 year relationship could even complete the most unexpected tragedy took place in her life." He gulped the lump in his throat clearing his vocals and wiping a tear that slipped off his eyes.