Gone too soon

It was on this same day that Ego did what is called "Eyipu Akwa". This is a ceremony to mark the end of the mourning period for the bereaved. She, her family members and those of Nnanna went to the chief priest who performed some rituals to the gods on her behalf to set her free from the hold of her deceased husband. This ritual includes burning all the clothes she wore during the mourning period and the cloth she wore to perform the ceremony was removed from her body by Chielo Nnanna's mother.

She has been mourning her husband for a year now, and throughout this one year mourning period she is not allowed to have a sexual relationship with another man. Her movements are restricted to just the market and some social events. She has to sit on the bare floor during the periods of mourning. But after this; she is now free to remarry as she is no longer tied to her late husband in any way.

When the event came to an end, everyone left and Ego was once again alone. She sat down on the cold floor that night crying and thinking; what kind of life is this? What has she done to deserve this kind of punishment from the gods? Who has she offended? Why is life treating her this way? Why did death decide to take the love of her life away? Why did Nnanna have to die, leaving her behind to suffer? What kind of hard luck was following her?

She began reminiscing about her life right from when she was a child. She was born into her family after her mother had been called barren by people and her husband for seven years. Her birth brought joy and happiness to her mother but not her father who wanted and was expecting a male child. He never liked her simply because she came into the world a girl.

Even after her birth, the beating and abuse received by her mother continued; he would go out, get drunk, come back home to pounce on her and her mother. Her mother even advised him like Sarah in the Bible to marry a second wife but he couldn't afford to remarry. She would have been happy if he did, at least she would have had siblings to share responsibilities with and to play with.

Before she married, she was living a life that looks good on the outside but was boring on the inside. She never had enough time to make friends or go out to have fun with friends like other people do because there was always something to do at home. She tried her best to please her father, doing everything he wanted both those that girls weren't supposed to do; just for him not to feel the impact of not having a male child. But he was never pleased.

The only time she had seen him happy with her, and not because he had downed a keg of palm wine, was when she got married, and that was because of the fat bride price he collected from Nnanna's family. She never really had any fun with her peers, though she did have some with her mother while they were working.

She did everything that her mother told her would result in a better and more productive life. She did everything that she was told would please the gods and other people. She was kind to people both young and old, men and women, even animals; respecting everyone around her. She never exchanged words with other people even when she was disrespected.

She stayed away from boys until she was ready to get married. Nnanna was the first man she knew; he was the first and only man to get between her legs. What has she not done to please the gods, why then are they punishing her like this? She pondered further.

After her birth, she had been gravely sick; the chief priest was invited and after consultations with the gods had declared that she would be fine and went ahead to prophesy that she has a very bright future and would someday be the wealthiest woman in the whole of Umudibia. But for this to happen, she must be allowed to choose her husband herself.

This was the only reason she was not forced into an arranged marriage. He was the opposite of her father. He loved her with all his heart; she never did anything that made him angry to the extent of him raising his hand to beat her; neither did he abuse her in any way. He was everything she had wanted in a husband. He had made her really happy, forgetting all she has passed through. Together they had all the fun she missed while growing up and even more.

Nnanna was not a farmer but would follow her to the farm just to be with her. They did everything together, even when she was cooking; he was there to help to cut the leaves and steal the onions and dried crayfish. When they played, Nnanna would make her laugh so hard that her stomach would hurt. He promised to be with her to the very end but death has broken that promise.

After the night of their marriage, people began expecting her to be pregnant, but that never happened. Days turned to weeks, years, yet it wasn't the will of the gods to bless them with a child. She had prayed to the gods, reminding them that she has done her part by doing everything that was expected of her, that it was their turn to take over; but still, nothing happened.

She even went to visit the village high priest to ask him her faith and what was happening? The priest told her not to worry, that the gods have good plans for her and that their time is always the best. Could taking her husband away from her be one of their precious plans for her she said out loud as hot tears streamed down from her eyes.

His mother had advised Nnanna to take a second wife but he had refused, saying, that his heart and love belong to just her and no one else. He had been there for her, when everyone, including her in-laws and friends, were calling her barren. She can't even remember the number of times he had asked his mother to stop lavishing abuses on his wife, calling her barren. How could death take this kind love and care from her? She wept bitterly.

How could the gods allow her to end up like her mother after trying so hard to please them? Not long after Nnanna's death, his mother had come to fight and accuse her of killing her son. People now called her a barren widow; some called her a witch, accusing her of using witchcraft to kill her husband and unborn children.

How can she continue to live without her husband?

"Nnanna come and take me with you oh… death come and take me too, so I can be with Obim".

What kind of life is this? What has she done to deserve all this, she lamented.