Forbidden Love??

Matthew.... our parents were best friends since we were young.. but we have never met each other before.... The first time I met him was when we were 12 I was Older than him by 3 months. I met him at my church. Our church gives Free music practice, When i first saw him, i really didn't care. But when we locked eyes. My heart started pounding.. I don't know why. But Yeah...maybe he's cute but not that cute.. he's just my type... he has glasses.. he's asian... he's tall and i don't know i just felt attracted. But I'm pretty sure when we locked eyes he didn't even notice me.. I'm way out of his league I'm technically a real life potato, and i'm not kidding i really look like one except for my skin, I have a fair and white skin... which was weird considering i came from a tropical island. I started attending practice more and more just to see him. And well Learn how to play the Piano.. Sometimes i would just find my self looking at him... It was really awkward since every time i glance at him we would always lock eyes then I would look away or pretend i was looking at someone else... I always tell myself "stop looking at him sheesh" But i can't seem too.. I wonder what he thinks of me.... I tried to forget about him but I just end up thinking about him even more. I always convince myself that "he's not your type you like tall guys than can cook, has glasses, maybe asian, someone older, and has humor" them i thought to myself "wait... he's all of those" or maybe I just like him too much i can't think of a flaw about him... Some Months have passed I still go to my music practice and I also started playing at the Orchestra for my church but sometimes I still stare at him and lose track of what I was doing.. Every-time I'm around Matthew I can't seem to be myself. I always stutter and start being clumsy. There was this one time where I almost tripped in front of him, but he just laughed... I really hated him at that time but at the same time we were going on trip together but with the teens of our church.. We went to an exhibit I tried having fun but I always end up staring at him. When we gathered up at one place to eat lunch our manager decided to take a photo, I tried going at the opposite side from him but the manager placed me right next to him it was really awkward. i was trying to go behind my friend while he was trying not to touch me at all... Sometimes I always think he hates me... I felt really dejected that night. I thought "why do I like him? stupid. falling for guys like that. this the third time Erin" But I still end up thinking about him..