Ruminant

Summary: Hibari Kyoya is reborn as Nara Shikamaru's older sister. The universe breaks and Kyoya kicks ass as always. A Naruto and Katekyo Hitman Reborn crossover story. Shamelessly AU. Drabbles.

Disclaimer: Naruto and Katekyo Hitman Reborn are not mine.

Warning: Swearing. My own personal take on sassy!Kyoya lmao.

1.

With his ridiculous chubby cheeks puffed up in irritation, Hibari Kyoya, now currently known as Nara Shikari, tried not to bite the herbivore who dared call himself his father to death.

Conveniently disregarding the fact that in his current body Kyoya couldn't do it even if he wanted to, he stubbornly glowered at the man who, instead of looking after him like the fearsome female carnivore told him to, napped all day and passed him to numerous lazy herbivores that looked and acted just like him.

It took hours for him to get changed for kami's sake.

Shuddering in disgust at the memory of various pineapple-haired herbivores who played pass the baby with him as it, Kyoya tried to block the memories of nappy changing and bathing.

Traumatized. That's what he was.

(He didn't know he can still experience that after spending one evening with Byakuran, the "reformed" marshmallow herbivore, who, much to his consternation, cheerfully detailed parallel worlds where he and the hateful pineapple-herbivore got together. Kyoya took great pleasure on beating him up, the asshole.)

Forcing his wee nine-months-old body to crawl, Kyoya smiled viciously as his grip tightened on the herbivore's shoulder-length brown hair. He studiously ignored the amused gaze the man trained on him and focused on making his limbs cooperate. When the strands he painstakingly got escaped his grasp, he fought the urge to pout mutinously.

Stupid, infantile body.

After getting enough hair for a harsh, brutal yank, the surprised yelp of the man didn't disappoint. The unmistakable feel of strands tearing away from the scalp made his skin practically sing and he almost giggled at the reproachful look the herbivore gave him. Almost that is because carnivores especially adults don't do that regardless of the body they inhabit in.

(He once again chose to ignore the adorable snicker that passed out of his lips when he saw the bald spot on the herbivore's hair.)

The man deserved it, really.

Lazy, herbivorous prick with pineapple-like hair. It's just Kyoya's luck to get a father that reminds him of Mukuro.

(It's one of the reasons he was so incensed, actually but nobody said Kyoya operated on logic.)

He's pretty sure this "new" life can be attributed to that Mist shit. If he ever got to meet that herbivore again, he'll enjoy biting him to death.

It's just in that hateful pineapple's nature to turn him into a girl. That fucktard.