Chapter 40.
(POV Crown Prince Ten Jo's Aide)
Some may wonder what's up with this peculiar situation and why I am robbing a bank while wearing this stupid black mask. Well... we have to rewind time a bit to find out what led to this ridiculous situation.
It was truly far too outrageous. I, an existence at the top of the Celestial Empire, an almighty cultivator far above the pitiful mortal ants below, sank so low that I became a petty robber.
This was my story.
…
Before my eyes laid the wreckage of what was once a "car."
Honestly, I was a bit happy internally when I saw that unconscious thing inside.
But really... that idiot! That thing went and stole this car and got it smashed up silly after only a few minutes to such a degree?
Why do I have to be an aide to a stupid arrogant crown prince like this? Can you please not cause all this trouble for me? When we first entered this realm I thought I could take a nice long relaxing vacation away from that blasted palace with paperwork stacked up to the ceiling. I jumped at the opportunity when I heard there was some sort of unexplored pocket realm so far out in the boonies. I thought it would be a nice excuse to slack off and do nothing. Yet, what happened right after we entered? That bloody cursed plague of a crown prince happened...
Right now there were a bunch of cars with lights on top that flashed red and blue. They wasted no time when they surrounded the totalled car that the unconscious thing was presently inside of.
Naturally, as his aide I couldn't just let that thing be taken away. It was a matter of face for the Celestial Empire after all. Unfortunately something had to be done for that idiotic thing that acted as a symbol of power for our Empire.
With a stern expression I stood in front of the wreck that was once a car. With a disdainful sneer on my face I looked down on all those tiny foolish little mortal realm ants. They even had the nerve to glare at me directly in the eyes. How dare they provoke a king, peak of the semi transcendent realm being such as I? They clearly haven't heard of the four kings of the Celestial Empire Guard that I just made up on the spot to make myself sound more important.
Some may wonder, why stick around and play with all these puny little mortals? Well, as a powerful cultivator, do you think I can just pick up the crown prince, turn tail and flee like that in the face of all these ants? Where would my dignity go if I did such a thing when confronted by weaklings like these?
Why should I flee? They are the weak ones, not I. You can't expect an elephant to retreat from insignificant ants, right?
"Sir, please step away from the vehicle." A man from the crowd said that. Such a cocky little ant, to dare speak to me in such a manner. You must have a death wish.
Each mortal ant pointed a strange small black device in their hands directly at me. Naturally, I simply casually flicked my sleeve and pushed him far away with the generated wind.
"Woah! What the hell?!"
The ants that stood further away were stunned when their comrade closest to me was sent flying over their shoulders like a rag doll. A rather magnificent splat rang out when he landed with his head buried in the dirt and his rear pointed at the sky. If I compared it to throwing darts, I'd say it was a pretty good toss that stuck firmly to the board at a beautiful angle.
I admired my handiwork a bit before one man shouted into a black box which emitted static noise, "HQ he got Charlie 1, I repeat Charlie 1 is down."
"Bravo 1, you did not repeat! I repeat, you did not repeat!"
"HQ, what are you talking about?! I did! I swear on my life, I did! I repeat, I swear on my life I did!"
"Bravo 1, nuh uh, you did not. Here's the recording, "he got Charlie 1, I repeat Charlie 1 is down." Does that sound like you repeated yourself? I repeat, does that sound like you repeated yourself?"
"HQ, Damn it! I repeat, damn it!"
"Bravo 1, your last two repeats were much better. The boss said you'll be getting a promotion next week. I repeat, the boss said you'll be getting a promotion next week."
"I did it!"
"Ehem. HQ, requesting permission to use lethal force. I repeat, requesting permission to use lethal force."
"Bravo 1, permission granted. I repeat, permission granted."
"HQ, I'm really curious, why do we have to repeat ourselves all the time? I repeat, why do we have to repeat ourselves all the time?"
"Bravo 1, there are some questions you're never supposed to ask. I repeat, there are some questions you're never supposed to ask."
After that strange exchange between the voice emitting box the man called HQ and the man that the box referred to as Bravo 1, the crowd of ants around me raised their small black devices up again and took aim at me.
Taking aim? Does that mean that tiny little thing is supposed to be some sort of weapon? Hahaha, that little thing is supposed to hurt the mighty me? One of the four heavenly kings of the Celestial Empire Guard?
I felt utterly insulted that they underestimated me to such a degree. I decided to shatter their pathetic insignificant little dreams of landing a hit on me and I let them take their best shot.
With confidence, I extended my index finger out towards Bravo 1. With a curl of my finger I beckoned him forward, disdain written all over my face. It was blatant provocation that said utilize whatever ant like power you were so proud of mortal. His blood visibly boiled, he grew more fired up and gung ho to take on the fight.
Silence descended. The air chilled. He held his breath. He clenched down firmly on the little black device in his hand. His eyes narrowed, his head tilted slightly. In a cultivator's keen eyes the world had slowed down to a near standstill. Sound was no exception. A moment later a slow, low frequency click rang out followed by a loud bang shortly after.
I was so shocked that I almost couldn't react to the speed of the small projectile that flew towards me. I repositioned my already extended finger to directly in line with the projectile. With how tiny it was I felt so disdainful I didn't bother to put up any defense at all. It was a teensy bit fast and the loud sound coupled with it's unexpected speed threw me off a bit at the start, but that was all there was to it. At the end of the day it was still a pea shooter that belonged to little mortal ants. I was more than confident I could just flick it away with the tap of a finger. A daring grin floated to my face as I prepared to leave these little mortals in awe. They would surely grovel at my feet when I effortlessly crushed their pathetic little dreams.
When the bullet was only one cm away from my finger, for some reason I had a horrible premonition. An electrifying chill ran up my back that suddenly screamed danger, but it was too late to do anything at this point.
Once you get on a tiger's back it is impossible to get off after all. Even if I could react at this point, my pride would not allow me to take any other action.
I grit my teeth and kept that disdainful sneer on my face as the projectile came directly in contact with my finger. At first I thought it would still be okay. It was just a bit of anxiety was all, but a moment later, "Ahhhhhh! God damn it! It hurts! That hurt like hell!"
That projectile, rather than stopping in the face of my mighty finger, it pierced cleanly through leaving nothing behind in place of where a portion of my index finger once was. I discovered a semi circular path through what used to be flesh. Blood flowed out non stop around the metal projectile remained embedded within the carapass of what was supposedly my finger.
Holy goddess of pregnancy, that hurt more than childbirth! Just what the hell is this tiny little projectile? For it to have so much power despite its size, isn't this far too unreasonable?
When I regained my senses I quickly rotated my cultivation base. I expelled the projectile and sealed up the area around the exposed wound. I immediately prevented the loss of any more blood. Even for a cultivator on my level blood loss was no joke.
Once I understood my present situation, a stream of cold sweat flowed down my back. I was in a position where I really didn't know what to do. The little ants from moments before now looked like the most terrifying beasts I had ever seen. I think I peed myself a little just now- no, no! I absolutely did no such thing. It's just my imagination. I couldn't let myself appear weak, naturally I had to keep up the act. I was a mighty cultivator. A mighty cultivator with no equal.
Damn it! You stupid crown prince! This was all your fault! If it weren't for you, would I find myself in these situations all the time? If you just kept your grubby little paws off that stupid car none of this would have ever happened!
It was only now that I realized the hunter suddenly became the hunted. Wasn't this pocket realm a bit too terrifying? These mere mortals all had such power? Where was the balance here?
"Put your hands up and drop your... weapons? Never mind, just put your hands up."
This form of humiliation was too great! Every fiber of my being refused to bow down to their commands.
"Mortals speak, what do you want to let that thing in the car off the hook?" I resolved myself to resort to bribery.
"Put your hands up! Now!"
I ignored his demands and followed up, "Is it money, power, women? Name your price and it shall be yours little mortals."
I noticed their ears slightly perked up only when they heard money. It appeared they were already content with how much power they wielded and the number of women at their beck and call. Well, with those peculiar devices it was reasonable. However, when all's said and done, one can never have enough money.
It seemed not all hope was not lost.
I waved my hand and took out all the money I had. A few metallic clings resounded as a little bit of my wealth fell to the ground. I'll have you know little mortals, I am one of the more wealthy individuals in the Celestial Empire. I was confident these mortals had never gazed upon such wealth before. This amount of wealth was surely more than enough to support these mortals for a lifetime.
I stood there with my eyes closed and my nose held up high in the air with confidence. I gave it a moment for their shock to sink in. When I didn't hear their gasps of awe after a few moments of silence I reopened my eyes. It was unexpected, but the men displayed a look of utmost confusion on their faces when they saw what I took out.
"What are you doing you foolish mortals? Can you not see all the money here?"
"Money? Sir, are you kidding me? What are we supposed to do with these stupid silver and bronze coins? Don't you at least have some gold or something you poor schmuck?"
Damn it! Are you mocking my empire's currency? All of our money is made from silver and bronze. You got a problem with that?! You want gold? You've got to be kidding me! Are you trying to raise my blood pressure through the roof? Nobody actually uses gold on a daily basis!
Have you been reading too many nonsense stories lately?! Gold is just used in objects pleasant to the eyes for the aristocracy these days. Nobody uses that for their currency anymore in our realm! It's only used for trade on the level of empires. Do I look like I'd casually carry around that sum of money on my person?
Despite my furrowed brows I took deep breaths and quelled my rage. Through gritted teeth I inquired, "What money do you want then?"
The man cockily closed the distance between us. He stopped directly in front of me. When we were face to face he took out a thick stack of papers and smacked it from left to right against my cheeks. He arrogantly told me, "this you moron. Cold hard cash. None of that scrap metal on the ground."
What the heck? These worthless pieces of paper were money to you? If you lit it on fire all that would be left was nothing more than ash. At least with metal it would only melt when exposed to fire. At least you could reuse the metal after.
"Are you actually challenged or just really poor? Have you never seen this much money before?"
Ugh. Such humiliation, a mighty cultivator like me had to bend his head to mere ants because of a tiny little pea shooter. I swore in my heart that I'd definitely seek out revenge in the future. However, as an aide to a foolish crown prince for as long as I had been, I'd long learned when it was necessary to bend my back and be flexible.
With an ingratiating smile on my face I rubbed my hands together and said, "big brother Bravo 1, if you don't mind me asking, how would one get a large amount of cash?" I didn't know enough about the limitations of their strange weapons so I treaded much more carefully in my interaction with these peculiar mortals. At the very least until I better understood the dangers hidden within this pocket realm, I chose caution and I put down my earlier arrogance.
My sudden change in attitude was immediately effective, he casually laughed it off and shrugged before he said, "hahaha, rob a bank I guess? If I knew, do you think I would be working as a cop?"
A bank? Was that where you stored all your money in this world? Was the bank also near where their ruler resided? Our vault where we kept our riches was stored in the royal palace, so I fell under the assumption this pocket realm's inhabitants worked in a similar fashion.
"Where would one find a bank?" I was sceptical as to whether he'd honestly reveal the location of his ruler so easily, but I still asked anyway.
He looked at me strangely and said, "there is one a few blocks away from here. It has a big sign that says National Bank on it."
"Oh, I-I see." A few blocks away? What kind of strange unit of measurement is that? If it's a ruler we're talking about, that would surely be equivalent to a few cities away, right? Hmm… a few cities apart would take quite a bit of time on foot even for me.
"You seem to be really contemplating over something. You wouldn't seriously be planning on suddenly donning a ski mask and robbing that bank, now would you?"
"Whatever could you be talking about? Why would I target such an important place?" The grin on his face suggested he didn't mind at all.
"Don't play dumb with me. If you want to bail your friend out of prison, you're going to need a lot of money."
"If I said there were such intentions what would you do?"
"Hehehe. Nothing much really. Look, I can even forget about your assault on that idiot officer over there. How about we make a deal?" His grin grew wider, his eyes squinted a bit, and his brows raised up into an arch when he said that.
"I'm not stupid buddy, I can tell right away you're not from around here with those stupid daoist robes you're wearing. You're definitely inhumanely strong, but you clearly can't stand up to our guns. How about this? You simply need to rob a bank and split the money with us. Us cops have to eat as well you know. You can use the money you acquire to bail your buddy out. We'll even help you out in the background by delaying the reaction from the fuzz. Get in and out, it's that easy."
This man without any doubt in my mind planned to backstab me… definitely... but even so, he was right. At this point in time, while I understood nothing about the full scope of their power, I was presently unable to defeat their guns with confidence. I could only bow my head this time and play by their rules.
"Here you go, I'm sure you've got some buddies that can help you out with your little heist. You can find us at the local police station when you've got the money to bail your buddy out."
He handed over five black masks to me before he motioned to his buddies. They quickly took away the people inside the totalled car along with that idiotic unconscious thing; that cursed root of all evil, the bane of my existence, that wretched hellspawn, troublemaker crown prince. It was all his fault. Everything was his fault. I was so enraged every time I thought about it that I nearly coughed out my left lung from frustration.
"Boys let's get our moronic goody two shoes leader, Charlie 1, to the hospital and prepare for the good news."
When I heard how he belittled his superior, I somehow felt a sense of camaraderie grow a bit within my heart. I somehow thought to myself, "he knows my pain." A single tear threatened to escape, but I somehow held it back. I felt so emotional I nearly turned to look at his back sympathetically at a fellow comrade in arms.
All jokes aside, these guys were way too corrupt. I might have been calling the kettle back, but even I felt bad for injured people to a certain degree; with the exception of a certain someone that was only worthy to be referred to as a thing of course.
It was clear that they cared more about the money than those injured mortals inside the wrecked car. I felt slightly pitiful towards the two people that were on the verge of death thanks to that other idiotic thing that had already been dragged away. As such, I secretly popped a pill with healing properties in their mouths. They were really lucky they did not die instantly or no mythical pill would have been able to save their lives. The mortals that carried them away didn't even bother to check if it was poison I fed them. It seemed they just assumed they were already goners.
That stupid idiotic thing on the other hand… aside from his broken left arm he appeared to be perfectly fine. He was lucky that his body was stronger than those two pitiful mortals he dragged into this.
They snapped some metal shackles onto the unconscious idiot's arms and quickly took him away. It didn't look like the derpy unconscious clown had been taken to the same place the other two unfortunate mortals were.
The two mortals were put on stretchers and placed into a bigger car like thing with red and white flashing lights. That thing was dumped into the back of the smaller car that belonged to Bravo 1. I assumed he was taken to prison instead of that thing I heard the mortals refer to as a hospital. I assumed it was a place where their doctors resided in this pocket realm. Unfortunately there were all sorts of foreign terms I didn't fully understand inside this bizarre pocket realm.
I glanced down at the masks Bravo 1 gave me and I was immediately conflicted. It looked like I needed four others from our group that had also been dragged into this realm for assistance with bailing that idiotic thing out of jail. After this encounter with the denizens of this pocket realm it was best to regroup, bolster our forces and form a plan before anything else.
…
Yes. That was how this strange turn of events came to pass. That moron... it really was all his fault that we were forced to put on this stupid show.
Robbing a bank.
This was the first action we took when we came to this terrifying pocket realm. The threat of guns was truly a formidable force to even mighty cultivators like us.
If all the other aides back home heard about how we were forced into the role of petty robbers shortly after we arrived here, they would have laughed themselves silly into retardation. The embarrassing nature of our depressing situation left me blushing from ear to ear in shame. The only saving grace in all of this was that my flushed red face had been fully concealed beneath the ridiculous clown-like ski mask.