Let's Do It

'Sometimes a bad start could end with a decent or a good ending.' I thought to myself while breathing through my respirator on my deathbed.

As I wait for a merciful end to come after a decade of fighting lung cancer which erodes this pitiful body. Recollection of my life comes as if a tidal wave smashed to my soul, streaming flashes of my past journeys on this earth.

I never knew my parents due to the fact that i was abandoned in a dumpster right in the most heavily populated city. My life would have ended if not for the kindness of an old gentlemen who had heard my cry.

He was a retired college professor who have just finished her daily grocery shopping. I was brought home, adopted and raised by him because He was also an orphan and never married, so He sincerely treated me like his own flesh and blood. For that i am forever grateful to him.

As the years gone by, i lived my live as careful as i can be as not to disappoint my Pawpaw (He insisted on being called that, never knew why though, but he always grinned happily when i call him Pawpaw, so i guess why not), finishing my education based on his advice that knowledge, education and training can help temper me in a way that i myself may not realize.

Unfortunately, just after i have attained a position as a college professor, he passed away peacefully during his nap on the day we celebrated for my attainment of that professorship..... So one of the most happiest day of my live is also my darkest one..... Untill this day i still miss him dearly.

As decades passed me by, i also never got married but adopted a few children, helped foster promising younglings, and did my best not to dishonour my Pawpaw (Yes, i know he has passed away decades ago, but some things just becomes a habit if you do it long enough).

To eliminate my sadness, i learned many knowledge and skills, anything ranging from how to cook to nuclear physics. Honestly speaking, i still don't understand most of it, but my Pawpaw always said "As long as it is good, just freaking do it..... Why waste time pondering for an eternity, people may abandon and betray you, but knowledge and skill will not".

However, living carefully as i had done does provide with a stable result and did helped me reached my goals, but that way of live hinders me on learning and experiencing a lot of things such as shooting a gun, hang gliding, or other things which has alot of uncontrollable risk factor.

Don't get me wrong, it does has it's own perks and rewards. For example, during my weakening state of health, the university did not abandoned me, my students (present or past) often visit me on/off campus and helped me endure my treatments, despite the result was a failure.

I only wished that i had tried a lot more or at least be more adventurous. It's a pity now it's already too late because based on my doctor's evaluation, i only have a few hours to live at least untill midnight.

That is why i am reminiscing as i lay here with my pain rescinding slowly after a humongous shot of pain killer (otherwise i would probably act insanely, unable to withstand the pain).

Do not misunderstand, i am not alone though. My students, childrens (although they are adopted, i never call them my foster children), and grandchildren are all here to accompany me during my last moments. I feel sorry for the other patients, nurses and doctors... So many have came untill the hospital's corridor and parking lot is filled to the maximum with my visitor.

'It is unbelievable what a simple guy can do, never have i imagined that so many people remembers me like this'.... Drops of tears rolled as i look out the window from the third floor of my hospital room and saw the people lighting up their smartphone flashlight apps.

Time flows extremely slow when you are dying, the clock indicates it was 3 seconds away to midnight. My body had extremely weakened and paralyzed, even moving my eyes took a lot out of me....

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3 seconds away, breathing is getting harder....

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2 seconds away, thinking is hard, need to sleep...

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1 second away, eye lid heavy... let's close it for a bit...

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That night, sounds of crying resonates the hospital as the world looses a great scholar and humanitarian. Hideyo Morohoshi passed away that night at the age of 110 years old, people who knew him thought 'Now that's a good ending to a good live'. Little did they know that it was only the beginning.