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(A/N: a short fanfic of NMJ x JGY and XY x XXC)

Everything I do, you are always angry. Everything I do, I am always afraid of you. Everything I do... everything I do... I want you to appreciate it.

But –

He hugged his head and kissed it. "Da ge..." he muttered as he closed his eyes and hugged it tightly. "... I miss you..." he said as a tear fell from his eye.

It (tear) fell on top of the head.

"I'm happy er ge's with me, but... it's really different if you're the one who's here." He said and looked at his face. "Da ge..." he called and lowered his head to kiss him.

I love you –

Every night, I think of you. Every night, I hear your voice. Every night, I want to feel you. Every night, I want to touch you. Every night... I want you to touch me. Every night, I... want you to be with me.

Nie Mingjue... can't you give me even just this one wish?

"How... dare... you – " he said through his gritted teeth. He still has little sanity left, and it's because of his anger towards him.

He looked at his eyes glaring at him.

"Da ge..." he called as he touched him down there.

Nie Mingjue flinched. Even though he hated him so much, but because he was touched all over his body, which now he's losing control.

"Jin... Guang... Yao..." he called, mad but more to himself, when he reacted.

Jin Guanyao's face lit up and he rubbed his naked body to his (naked body), especially their lower body. "Da ge..." he called as he smelled him all over.

"You're insane - !" Nie Mingjue hissed. He can't move since he's all tied.

Jin Guangyao's breathing is rough, and his face is flushed. "Da ge..." he called.

Every word you say towards me, whatever name you call me... it hurts. But –

He thought as he felt himself hard. He's sweating all over, holding himself back all these years. "Da ge... you knew what I feel towards you - ?" he asked as his hand ran all over his (NMJ) body, feeling him, while his other hand is playing on the hole between his legs.

He's preparing himself to make his (NMJ) enter him – making them one.

"Stop – ngh!" Nie Mingjue cried when Jin Guangyao started to bite him all over his body, so hard it turned red until it bled.

He then started licking his blood and bit him to another place again.

"I'm all ready – " Jin Guangyao said.

Nie Mingjue's eyes went wide when he saw white liquid streamed down Jin Guangyao's legs. He groaned when Jin Guangyao started to play his with his tongue, then entered it all in his mouth.

His lips and tongue played his, leaving a thread of saliva.

"Da ge..." he called. "Let's be together..." he said and raised his hips. He then made his enter in him. "Aaaa~ da ge~" he called, breathing heavily. He laid his upper body on his, skin to skin.

He intertwined their fingers as he started to move on top of him. Nie Mingjue stared at him in horror.

"Da ge... da ge~" Jin Guangyao called, his legs wrapped on Nie Mingjue's waist.

I love you –

He closed his eyes tight as he hugged his head. "Da ge..." he called and sobbed.

He knew he couldn't keep him (NMJ) by his side, nor even make him stay with him even just for a second. And so, he –

A knock awakened his thoughts. "Enter." He said, his voice low.

"Aiya aiya..." Xue Yang said, looking at the head in Jin Guangyao's embrace.

"Why did you come here?" Jin Guangyao asked him coldly.

Xue Yang shrugged, then his face went serious. "I still can't find the Yiling Patriarch..." he said, gritting his teeth as he balled his fists, his nails dug in his palm and it bled.

But, he (XY) doesn't mind. His business (XXC) is more important.

"I need him... to be alive..." he said, his voice and body shaking.

As to why, he doesn't need to guess.

We're similar. Jin Guangyao thought as he looked at Xue Yang. Then, he turned to Nie Mingjue. We're alike, right, da ge? You see this? he thought as he caressed his (NMJ) face.

We have someone we look up to, them becoming as our most important person. But... we can't be the one the most important person to their life. They reject us just because we're of different in beliefs. Thus, they...

And thus, we...

Jin Guangyao kissed him (NMJ) and, full of care, returned his (NMJ) head. He then turned to Xue Yang to give him instructions.

"Let's think of a way for your daozhang to live again." he told him.

Xue Yang's eyes are red in tears. He held the Soul Sealing Pouch gently in his arms, afraid the soul inside might break.

Jin Guangyao's heart ached. This child... he thought as he patted his (XY) head. He's like me.

He's seeing his past self in him.

"Let's make sure everything will be successful." He said. "I'll help you." He told him.

(A/N: aaaaaaaaaah!!!!!! Feels!!!!!!! T.T Xue Yang Xue Yang Xue Yang!!!!! T.T this is one of those moments I don't hate JGY. Pitiful Xue Yang... T.T he's just but a kid... *sniff dajie's here for you, XY T.T *pats)

P.S.: this is my very first ff of NMJ x JGY, too!!!!!!!!! Aaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!! I could've write more if I just knew of their whole story. XDXDXD I'll be patient, though, to wait for the eng. trans. since I don't know how to read in Chinese xDXDXDXD)