Abnormal and Normal

Entering the familiar hospital room, I was immediately greeted by a smile on her face. Like before, she was simply sitting on her bed with her back against the raised backrest that allowed her to rest comfortably. Clipped onto the headboard of the white hospital board was a tablet mount that reached over and around her, holding up a silver tablet firmly before her and at an angle so that the screen was facing her. Beside her, there was a basket of fruits that someone must've brought for her some time earlier as they all appeared to be quite fresh.

"You're making yourself quite at home," I commented, feeling a faint sense of dread in my chest. "How long would you be in the hospital for?"

"I don't know," Luna shrugged. "Depends on what the doctor decides."

"Is..." I sighed out of frustration after unable to force out my words through that lumpy feeling in my throat. "Is it really that bad?"

"Don't worry," she smiled. "I'm feeling just fine."

I frowned ever so slightly, squinting my eyes a little to observe her. I took in her pretty face, seeing how it appeared to be somewhat frailer than the last time I had visited. However, it wasn't to the point that it was particularly noticeable and it just might've been the result of the stress of staying in the hospital without any stimulus and only boredom as the sole company. However, even though I keep telling myself this, I can't help it but think that there's something really different, something that had changed the course of things as well as our interaction, our relationship.

With a sigh, I shook off this uncertain feeling that has been formed in my vacillating mind. I walked over to her bedside and sat down on the chair closest to the hospital bed before rolling over the overbed table, setting it up and making sure that it won't hit her tablet mount, and set down the box of cheesecakes that I had bought prior to visiting.

"Thank you!"

Her eyes lit up as she pushed her tablet mount to the side and focused solely on the desert before her. Like last time, she quickly placed the two slices of cheesecake on the styrofoam plate that was in the plastic bag containing the box and pushed one in my direction. Then, she dug gracefully into her own slice of cake, breaking off a small piece with her plastic fork and delivering it to her mouth. Then like before, her face became one of great content and joy.

Since she won't be saying anything while eating, I picked up my own serving of the cake with my left hand on the plate and grabbed for the other fork using my right. I stared at the cheesecake, at the smooth surface of it and smelled the diary and sweetness of it. I can understand exactly why she would enjoy the cheesecake from that cafe. It's perfectly created.

"So."

Her words made me put on hold my eating and look up at her. She had already finished consuming her slice of cake, and possibly sensing that something was on my mind, she initiated the conversation in order to not keep me waiting for any longer.

"Did you make up with Irina?" she asked.

I shook my head.

"Oh..." she frowned and looked down at the bed covers that covered her legs. "That's unfortunate..."

A period of silence followed, but it wasn't particularly difficult to bear with nor was it awkward. Rather, it was something that I needed, some time to sit there in silence and just think about things. However, doing that would never allow one to come to a conclusion since the human mind requires stimulus to function, so technically, it's another attempt at escaping the responsibilities of reality.

"What about the others?" Luna then changed up the subject, which was understandable since it was rather an unfavorable topic to be discussed. "How have they been doing."

"I mean..." I sat up and leaned back on my seat. "They came to visit you just a few days ago."

"I know," Luna smiled. "It's just that... things have been very boring lately."

"Right," I nodded and shook my head. "I wonder if it would be better if it was Loyd who came instead of me..."

I didn't know why I said that at the time, but... it was just something within me that took control of my mind and allowed that to bypass whatever filter there was. It was actually quite surprising to me that it was even capable of existing. That thought was able to climb all the way out of the very abyss of the abyss and back into the light and leave through my mouth. When I had realized what I had said, it was already too late and the only possible thing I could do was prepare for the damage that would soon ensue.

I tensed my body and looked over at Luna, feeling quite nervous and ready to explain myself at any given moment. I held my breath as I waited, waiting for a reaction from her. However, what I was met with was a moment of silence as she kept her head down in a somewhat depressed state with her long, white hair covering her face and concealing it from me. It was rather odd suddenly seeing her like this as there were no hints of her usual cheerfulness yet her health was still the same as just before, meaning that her medication was still in effect and concealing her ill self behind that illusory image.

"Alevian," she finally said.

Slowly, she raised her head and looked over at me. Even though I was prepared for her to retaliate to my statement in whatever way it might prompt her to, she simply just held that position and gazed at me. Like a frightened creature, I slowly met her gaze and was shocked to discover that concealed within it wasn't anger or anything. Rather, it was a sad, almost melancholic smile...

"Let's play the King's Game again," she whispered.

"T-the King's Game?" I repeated. "I mean... sure..."

I complied out of a sense of guilt, almost as if I had an obligation to agree to it this time.

"The rules will be the same as before," she smiled in an unusual and almost melancholic manner. "Ready?"

After a quick round of rock-paper-scissors, I won and was crowned the king of the round. Slowly, I retracted my hand back and just stared at her. My eyes followed as she brought her opened palm closer to her and gaze at it with a sad smile on her face.

"Darn it..." she smiled. It appeared to me that she seemed to have wanted to win, but... there's no way to change the result. With a slight shake of her head, she shook away that unusual feeling and smiled in my direction in the same energetic manner as before. "Alright now, King. What's your wish?"

"Huh?" I was surprised by this sudden change in her mood. "Well... this is too sudden. I don't even know."

"Just think of something," she said, smiling once again in that somewhat melancholic manner. "Anything's fine. Anything..." She repeated the word softly.

"I...I don't know," I shook my head and sighed. "I can't think of anything."

"Is that so..." She muttered.

For some reason, everything went quiet. Maybe it was just because neither of us was speaking, but... it was just silent. My eyes focused on her as she sat there on her bed with her hair concealing her face from me. However, from her frail frame, for some reason, I could sense a great resolve. It was like something had suddenly changed in her, or rather, something was set straight and her mind was no longer vacillating.

"Just keep it then," she looked over at me and smiled. "Keep it when you know what you want..." Her voice became quieter and quieter near the end, so quiet that she had whispered something else but it was barely audible and impossible for me to make out anything she was saying.

***

The visit soon slowly came to a close as we simply sat there and talked about things. Random things, things so random that they seemed almost pointless to me. It was as if she was simply trying to pass time. In fact, there were times she would start typing on her phone, maybe a text to someone. It made it feel as if I was a bother to her. Therefore, I excused myself well earlier than the closing of the visiting hours.

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow then." I smiled as I looked over my shoulder at her. "Goodnight."

On her face was a heavy and gloomy countenance, one that made me feel as if something was wrong. However, I could not decipher what it could be by simply studying her.

"Goodnight," she whispered back.

Slowly, I slid close the door behind me, letting out a sigh of fatigue as I turned and started walking down the hallway of the hospital. Walking down the hallway, I would glance from side to side, taking in the patients and the nurses who would be there helping the patients as they walked. It's just so weird knowing that a hospital is the site of the greatest emotional polarity in this world. Some people are overjoyed here and some are devastated here. In some room in this hospital right now, family members must be weeping for a loved one. Yet, in other rooms, family members may be weeping, but for the entirely opposite reason. It's just... so weird.

When I left the hospital, the sky had not turned dark yet as it wasn't yet time for it to do so. The sky was dyed a beautiful orange color by the setting sun, making the Helliger River glisten as it reflected the glare. What would've been a tranquil scene was disrupted, however, by a commotion that was occurring nearby the hospital's main entrance. Curious as to what was happening, I made a slight detour and went to check it out.

Loads of people were crowded around a single area, surrounding it and all having their phones out to take pictures. I was a bit too tired to squeeze through the crowd to see what the commotion was, but I was able to see the tops of what appeared to be filming material consisting of lights and cameras. Nearby, there was also a trailer as well. I deduced that this must be a set for like a television shoot or something. After seeing what there was to offer, I turned around and started heading towards the train station. However, the sudden uproar from the crowd made me halt in my steps and turn around.

"Irina!!!" the crowd cried out and cheered.

Upon hearing this, I turned around and saw that the crowd had parted to the side as Irina approached the encircled area. Beside her was her father and agent and trailing behind them was her assistant. In response to their cheers, Irina smiled and waved toward her fans. However, that smile on her face froze when our eyes made contact when she scanned through the crowd.

Upon seeing me, she stopped in her steps and looked over at me with her eyes wide in what appeared to be shock. However, she was able to quickly recover when her father mumbled something to her with a worried expression on his face, maybe inquiring her as to what was the matter. Irina was quickly able to resume her walk towards the cleared area where the filming supplies were located at, but her father didn't follow her. Instead, he turned and whispered something to her assistant before he broke free from the cleared path and went past the crowd while walking in my direction.