1 Feng Bo, The Peerless Master!

It was the year of the Dog. The great blazing orb in the sky was chasing away its silver, celestial sister. During this sunrise, there was a man living in a cottage on a mountain. He was a robust man. Even though his white beard hair betrayed his age, he acted as young and restless as the ones just coming out of diapers! He was lively and boisterous and trying to get him to sit still is harder than slaying the Thirteen-Headed Thunder Beast with a broken shoulder! Which is actually something this man did. This man was invincible, he was a legend among legends! His mastery over martial arts was extraordinary! He cultivated the Nine Phoenix Feathers Shifting The Gale skill in 272 hours and 17.28 minutes! Mommy boogeymen told baby boogeymen stories to scare them straight! The 54 colossal dragon kings of the North bring him treasures once a month to pay for tribute. He was the Chuck Norris of this realm! He was the Peerless Master of Elder Dragon Peak! And his name was Feng Bo!

Given his status and his unprecedented rule over all the land he sees, he was bound to have enemies. Unfortunately for him, those enemies were way smarter than him...

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On Elder Dragon Peak, there was a man making love to his mistress. The whole mountain peak was full of rough, passionate lust. The screams given off were loud enough to even deter away any wild beast within a thousand kilometers! The very mountain was shaken to its core! Landslides cascaded down the mountain side. Trees were uprooted by the sheer vibrations. Even the river on the North side of the mountain was forced to travel to the West side of the mountain! All because the Peerless Master felt a little frisky that morning.

Outside of the cottage was a young master riding atop a Black-Gold Griffin. His shiny black hair gave off an impressive aura, but right now that aura was subdued by an even more impressive aura of sex appeal! He waited and waited but it seemed to him that the two were never going to stop. Eventually he grew tired of waiting and ordered the Black-Gold Griffin to tear the roof off the house. The majestic griffin leapt up into the air and, with its 14 meter long body, ripped the cottage's roof off as if it were a band-aid. The young master gazed down, not a hint of emotion could be seen on his face. The Peerless Master was 'embedding his saber' over and over again. The women that 'the sword' was being 'embedded into' had a look of pure ecstasy on her face. Drool was constantly coming out of her mouth. She was in Peerless Master Heaven. After seeing this, the young master covered his eyes with his hand.

A few moments later, the Peerless Master felt a slight breeze and looked up.

"Oh, if it isn't Junior Apprentice Brother Pàntú! What a nice surprise to see you on Elder Dragon Peak! Please come in so we can discuss why you are here interrupting my sexy time with Empress Mei Ling!" All this he said without ever missing a beat.

"Senior Apprentice Brother Feng Bo, I would rather you get dressed first, it would be indecent of me to see anymore than what I am witnessing now."

"I suppose it would be an opportune to to give Empress Mei Ling a break." He breaks the rhythm and drags 'the saber' out of 'the sheath' one last time. "Ok Lingling, you can go now, same time next week?" The women does nothing but drool, she doesn't even know that he has stopped. His heaven defying powers are still having an effect on her.

The Peerless Master dresses i a pair of baggy pants. With his sweat glistening in the sunlight and his bald head shining, he looked as though he just went through intense martial art training.

"I've put away my 'saber', you can look now!"

Pàntú slowly lowers his hand from his eyes. He looks down and sees something even more terrifying than the scene he just witnessed. There was bulge in the Peerless Master's pants coming from the Peerless Master's 'saber'. And it was over a foot long. The print even made the Black-Gold Griffin flush from embarrassment.

'No wonder the Empress is like that' thought Pàntú.

"The Ten Celestial Sects of the Feng Bo continent (Yup, he named a whole continent after himself) wanted to gift you a gift. Seeing as how I have the closest relationship with Senior Apprentice Brother Feng Bo, they asked me to give it to you."

"Go on."

"They have recently unearthed a never before scene treasure. They call it, The Jade of Ultimate Fire! He whosoever where's this pendent has unlimited control of flame." Pàntú then reached into his spatial ring, a device made many years ago, and pulled out a box made of pure sapphire with ten stars on top. Each star represented one of the ten Celestial Sects, the strongest sects in the whole Feng Bo continent. He then leapt off the griffin, landed in front of Feng Bo and bowed while holding the box out. Without taking the box into his own hands, Feng Bo opened the lid! Inside wasn't any Jade of Ultimate Fire. There wasn't even a Jade of Moderate Fire!The only thing inside wa pure darkness. As he continued to gaze inside, something started to feel off. He felt as though he was getting lighter, but not in a good way. It was like it was getting rid of him bit by bit. He looked down and noticed his hands weren't there anymore. He could see his essence, he very thing his body was made of, was being sucked into the box's abyss. He started to look frightened and pretty soon he heard a dark, sinister laugh.

"HAHAHAHAH YOU HAVE FALLEN INTO MY TRAP! HOW DO YOU LIKE BEING SUPRESSED? HOW DO YOU LIKE HAVING THE FEELING YOU CAN DO NOTHING BUT WATCH? THIS IS THE SOUL SHATTERING CHEST OF THE DEMON KING, THE ONLY THING YOU CANNOT DEFEAT! HOW DOES IT FEEL TO LOSE SENIOR BROTHER? YOUR DADDY HERE ENJOYS THAT FRIGHTENED LOOK ON YOUR FACE!"

To that, Feng Bo only had one thing to say. "Your mother was a great cook, but she was even better in the bed. She costed me a gold note, but dammit, it was worth it!"

"AAARRRRGGGHHHHHH" Pàntú growled in rage and shoved the box right on top of Feng Bo's head! In his last moments, Feng Bo gave a smile as he thought of how to plot his revenge.