Darkjokes
I have to say, I have rarely read a fanfic where the writer knows the world as well as you do! Rich with detail and brimful of conflict, physical and emotional both. I think, though, that you get so caught up in the rush of writing that you miss punctuation here and there. As far as suggestions I can make, it's that you should read your chapters over once more before you post.
Such a great character build. The dtory was such a tear jerker for me. Craving for more chapters Such a great character build. The dtory was such a tear jerker for me. Craving for more chapters Such a great character build. The dtory was such a tear jerker for me. Craving for more chapters Such a great character build. The dtory was such a tear jerker for me. Craving for more chapters Such a great character build. The dtory was such a tear jerker for me. Craving for more chapters
So far enjoyin.......................................................................................................... Cycyvuvuvuvuvubububibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibubuvyv ubibibibbiibibiibibibibib ihihihiihibibibibibibibibihibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibib how huhuhihihguhuhuh higguguguguguguguguvuvuvugugugihuvuguvuvuguguguguguguggugugugug how have hibibibibinibibibubibi
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Why not revive his sister whit the outer paths then say the true of tsunade to the whole village I Maine he have to gets strong under but you gave him soo much hated that cloud his judgment hi can get his recent by making hire daughter now the true so che can hate here mother and wen he revive his sister make live whit guilte all her life perfect revenge and hi can live anormal life whit his sister
This book has got me longing for me. it's beautiful and we'll developed. The translation quality is just ok but every would definitely understand the story. I love the characters and can't wait to see if Drogo would actually change his. I also wouldn't like to see burotu become stronger than him. It won't make sense.
Wild megane-ojisan, dropping in for a review! Nin, nin! Well, first things first, I like the ideas you're trying to put accross in this fanfic. And I'm also glad that the main character you created is not some cliche overpowered author-insert who's only purpose is to pander to the fanbase. It definitely needs some polish though. Maybe you could get another fan to proofread it for you to make the reading experience smoother. But good job with the overall concept. Keep it up.