Kang Liang felt strange after his talk with Lu Duyi.
The boy was so strong and mature. It was obvious he was raised with love. Or at least, with a stable parental figure.
Unlike Kang Liang and his brothers, Lu Duyi contained no darkness within him. Just light. No bad intentions or want to posses something or reach for something greater. He needed no proof to know that who he was and what he had was real.
Kang Liang couldn't help but be a bit envious...
Kang Liang had always associated his worth to his usefulness to others. To how much another person would think of him; would want him.
He wanted to imprint himself into a person's mind. That was why he went into entertainment in that first place. That, and his mother.
Only entertainers could be remembered so perfectly. With a song. A performance. Or by their looks. They could. He could.
And by the time he reached the top, people would know him. They would love him. And his mother would see him. Right?
That was what he had hoped.
He had lived all his life in his brothers shadows. They had a little something that made people remember them. Be it for good reasons or not. But not him.
Sure, he was good at seducing girls and he would go out on a medley of dates but when he was done with them, and they with him, he fell back into an emptiness.
He was happy but not completely. Something had always been missing. And it didn't take him long to figure out that it was his mom.
As he thought this, Kang Liang arrived at Hotel Helios. He stopped in a corner where he could stealthily watch the entrance.
He stayed there until a beautiful woman came out. She had long dark hair with blonde tips and she wore a large hat and sunglasses.
There she was. Ke Da Xia. Kang Liang's mother.
Kang Liang watched as his mother walked out of the building and into a car. The whole time he held his breath. Then when she was gone, he exhaled.
Truth be told, he had found his mother a long time ago.
The woman had come back to the country exactly a month after Elder Qiao and Qiao Qingqing had died.
For her, there was nothing to be afraid of anymore. At least that was what he guessed.
But she hadn't come to see him once...
That pained him.
However, seeing his mother wasn't the only reason he had come to Hotel Helios that day.
Kang Liang entered the hotel and then went straight for the manager.
"What room is Xu Shen in?" Kang Liang asked nonchalantly.
Xu Shen had returned to T City due to Lu Xiaoling's wedding. Kang Liang remembered how Lu Shuya was conflicted about inviting her father, but knowing how her father was, she knew he would have felt hurt if she didn't.
When she had contacted him, Kang Liang was by her side. He had seen her expression and how her palms had begun to sweat but this was unnecessary fear. Because to her surprise, Xu Shen had told her he would bring a plus one.
Hearing what Kang Liang had said, the manager froze for a second.
The manager would never give this information out but since he was talking to a Kang, he felt he had no choice.
Once Kang Liang received the room number, he went to the elevator.
Thinking about what he was going to say to Xu Shen, Kang Liang tapped his foot nervously on the flour.
"Mr. Xu, I'm in love with your daughter..." Kang Liang said slowly.
Kang Liang had not lied to himself. He liked Lu Shuya. He knew he did. Though he wasn't sure it was best to be with her. He believed he would hurt her. Despite loving her so much that it hurt.
He had roped Lu Shuya into helping him find his mother and then continuously lied to her about not having found his mother yet...
Relationships that are born out of lies wouldn't work out. He knew this. If only he had told Lu Shuya that he had found his mother then he wouldn't be feeling so conflicted.
Now, his mother was just an excuse so he and Lu Shuya could be together. At least for a little bit longer.
But this was just delaying the inevitable.
"In the end you're just afraid she'll tell you she doesn't want you..." Kang Liang whispered to himself.
When he spoke this, the images of both his mother and Lu Shuya appeared in his mind. Seeing this, Kang Liang's face twisted.
Arriving at Xu Shen's floor, Kang Liang shook his head, getting their images out of his mind and then he made his way to Xu Shen's room before he knocked at the door.
Once the door opened, Kang Liang came face to face with a woman. He stared at the woman and the woman stared back at him with total confusion, and then suddenly, all of Kang Liang's preparations felt useless.
"Is Xu Shen here? Or do I have the wrong room?" Kang Liang asked a bit awkwardly.
The woman did answer his question, instead she turned around.
"Shen, there's a pretty boy here to see you!" Han Qiang called out.
Xu Shen came a second after.
Seeing Kang Liang's face, Xu Shen have a soft smile.
"Ah, it's nice to see you again." Xu Shen said happily. "How have you been?"
Kang Liang shrugged. "As good as I can be I guess."
Once he said this, a pained expression accidentally manifested itself on his face.
"Your son?" Han Qiang asked Xu Shen.
"No..." Xu Shen started but he wasn't sure what to call Kang Liang.
Realizing this, Kang Liang's reaches his hand towards Han Qiang and said, "I'm his daughters friend. My name is Kang Liang."
Han Qiang took his hand.
"So you must be the plus one." Kang Liang said as he shook the woman's hand. He wore a sweet smile, which slightly revealed his flirty nature. "I'm glad the Uncle Shen has found a woman as beautiful as yourself as his companion."
Hearing this, Han Qiang smirked. "Well aren't you the charmer."
Kang Liang, without completely meaning to, had made an impression on Han Qiang.
Seeing this, Xu Shen almost laughed, but noticing the strange aura around Kang Liang, he approached him and said, "Would you like to have a chat with me?"
Kang Liang looked at Xu Shen straight in the eyes. As if saying 'yes' without the need for words.
Xu Shen understood this and so, he said, "Alright, let's go to the lounge."
Xu Shen then turned to Han Qiang and said, "I'll be back."
Han Qiang shrugged.
"I was planning on going shopping so take your time. I'll see you around 5. " Han Qiang then quickly got her bag and then she passed Xu Shen and Kang Liang. Once in the hallway, she turned to Kang Liang and said, "Until next time."
Kang Liang nodded.
***
Xu Shen and Kang Liang sat in the Hotel Helios lounge quietly for a moment. They waited for the other to talk and so, an awkward atmosphere formed between them.
"You don't wear the wig anymore?" Xu Shen said referring to his usual blonde hair.
Kang Liang shook his head, "I'm on a indefinite retirement from the entertainment industry. I have things to do..."
In his hand, Kang Liang held his lighter, which he played with every so often.
"Oh..." Xu Shen said and then, the conversation went dry once more.
Kang Liang: "I see you've found yourself a girlfriend..."
Xu Shen nodded. "Yes, Han Qiang is an amazing woman."
Kang Liang nodded. "She does seem like it..."
At this moment, both Xu Shen and Kang Liang paused a beat but not wanting the conversation to turn awkward again, Xu Shen spoke.
"Why did you come see me today, Liang?" Xu Shen asked.
"Uhhh..." Kang Liang tapped his lighter on the table. "I'm in love with your daughter."
"Is that all?" Xu Shen asked calmly.
Kang Liang nodded. "I just wanted your blessing..."
"If that's what you want, I must tell you, you've had it for a while. But I think that's something you should tell her. Not me." Xu Shen chuckled. "I'm sure she'd be glad. In her own way of course."
Hearing this, Kang Liang nodded and under his breath, he whispered, "I hope so."
As if he had heard Kang Liang's words, Xu Shen spoke, "You should have more confidence in yourself."
Hearing that, Kang Liang looked at Xu Shen dead in the eyes.
"I do." Kang Liang said. And that was no lie. But hearing it come out of his own mouth sounded strange. He seemed meeker than usual.
"Then go see Shuya and exercise that courage." Xu Shen said with amusement. "It's hard to confess, but in the end, it's worth it. One hundred percent of the time."
"Even if they don't love you back? Even if they don't want to see you?" Kang Liang asked desperately. As he asked this, he knew deep in his heart that he was not talking about Lu Shuya...
Hearing this, Xu Shen's face turned slightly sad. "Even then. It's worth it."
Xu Shen reached across the table and put his hand on Kang Liang's shoulder. "In life, sometimes you need to allow yourself to be vulnerable and understand that time is of the essence. You might hurt today, but you won't hurt tomorrow. If someone doesn't want you. That's okay. Because in this world, there will be at least one person who will make you feel at home."
Home...
Kang Liang held his breath. And then, like he had realized something, he stood up.
"Thank you and until next time Uncle Shen." Kang Liang said loudly.
Xu Shen laughed and said, "You could call me Father if you want."
However, by the time Xu Shen had said this, Kang Liang was gone.
***
At home, Lu Shuya sat back on her bed. She looked up at the ceiling and sighed every so often.
She had complained that Lu Duyi was lazy, and wasting his life but Lu Shuya couldn't say she was any better.
After taking an indefinite amount of time off of work, Lu Shuya had spent a grand majority of her time dedicated to helping Kang Liang.
And so, when he wasn't there, she wasn't sure what to do...
Lu Shuya wondered what she would do after he was gone. After he had completed his goal.
'I'll be abandoned...' Lu Shuya instantly thought.
This thought caused her heart to squeeze in her chest, almost suffocating her.
Feeling this, she knew she had to pivot and so, she thought of something else.
But it was hard to think of something other than Kang Liang. She wanted to get over him. She wanted to help him accomplish his goal, clear up their relationship, clear up that they were just friends and then, the both of them could part ways.
Lu Shuya's chest tightened.
Feeling this, she touched her chest softly and leaned her head back.
"No matter how much it hurts..." she whispered.
As she said this, there was a sudden knock at the door.
Lu Shuya rolled into her stomach and then she pushed herself up violent. Taking up a very strained, upright sitting position.
"Yes?" She said, sounding a bit awkward.
There was a silence and then, Kang Liang said, "It's me. Can I come in?"
It was indecent to have boys in your room, mostly when no one else was home, but since it was Kang Liang, Lu Shuya told him to come in without any problems. It wasn't like it was his first time in there.
Once Kang Liang opened Lu Shuya's door, she saw him standing erect. He seemed more formal than usual. Like a man on a mission. Yet also a bit grim...
Lu Shuya frowned. "What's wrong? Did something happen to Duyi?"
"No, of course not." Kang Liang answered simply.
"Okay... well, why do you look like that?" Lu Shuya asked just as simply.
"Like what?" Kang Liang said, this time more awkwardly.
"Like you're having a funeral..." Lu Shuya said mimicking his awkward tone.
Kang Liang laughed dryly.
"Well I guess if might be..." Kang Liang said slowly, "For my old life. My single-hood... if you know what I mean?"
Hearing this, Lu Shuya's face twisted. She could not understand what Kang Liang was saying, or where he was going with his train of thought.
Watching her closely, and seeing her face change completely, Kang Liang grabbed her hands and squeezed them. "What I meant was, I love you."
Lu Shuya was frozen. She just gaped at Kang Liang for a small while.
"W-what?" She finally said after the period of silence.
"I love you." Kang Liang repeated.
Lu Shuya shook her head. "I heard you. But why?"
Kang Liang's face twisted slightly. "There you go ruining a moment, again. Do I need a why?"
Lu Shuya nodded. Her eyes wide, like a dear in the headlights.
Looking at Lu Shuya, Kang Liang almost sighed. This wasn't the romantic easy confession he had imagined. But seeing her shock, Kang Liang couldn't help but smile.
This was one of the things he loved about her.
"Well..." Before long Kang Liang began listing all the things he loved about Lu Shuya. From her smile, to her face of embarrassment, to how she was helpful, etc. But then, there was a sudden pause, before he said, "But in all... I just love all of you. It's more than all that stuff I mentioned. This whole time I loved spending time with you... I was just using my mom as an excuse."
This whole time, Kang Liang was not looking at Lu Shuya's face. He was looking at her hand in which he was caressing, but suddenly, a warm teardrop fell on his hand.
Feeing this, Kang Liang's heart sank.
Looking up, Kang Liang was assaulted by Lu Shuya's tear stained face. She didn't make a sound. Not even a sob. But the tears emptied from her crystal clear eyes, nonetheless.
Kang Liang let go of her hand and the he dropped to his knees in front of her. Trying to while away her tears with his hand, Kang Liang's face was pale.
Kang Liang: "I'm so sorry... I shouldn't have... I... Shuya..."
Kang Liang was at a loss for words. He didn't know what he had done wrong. But now he felt like a asshole.
How could he have confessed to her. He was stupid. Of course she wouldn't want to hear him confess...
Kang Liang's mind began to insult him. It began to make his heart sink and burn. As if it was being dipped in a vat of lava.
But then, just when he felt himself want to cry, he heard Lu Shuya's meek voice.
"Me too..."
Kang Liang froze for a beat and then looked at her straight in the eyes.
"W-what?" Kang Liang said mimicking the same reaction Lu Shuya had had previously.
Hearing this, Lu Shuya let out a small stuffy giggle before she said, "I love you too."
After saying this, Lu Shuya tried to wipe away her tears but they continued to fall.
"Stupid eyes..." Lu Shuya said with a sob.
Hearing this, Kang Liang laughed and kissed her cheeks. Whipping away her tears with his lips.
Feeling such a warm, romantic gesture, Lu Shuya stopped crying and turned crimson.
"So... are we dating now? Is this how it works?" Lu Shuya asked awkwardly.
Kang Liang furrowed his eyebrows. "Unless you had a better idea. You want me to be your friend with benefits instead?"
Hearing this, Lu Shuya frowned and then she pinched Kang Liang's arm. "And you tell me I ruin moments!"
Wincing yet still smiling despite the searing pain of Lu Shuya's pinch, Kang Liang laughed. He the leaned over to her.
Kang Liang came close to kissing her, but stopped just shy of her lips. His eyes were closed but he did not make the first move.
Seeing this, Lu Shuya felt her heart skip a beat and so she kissed him. With all her courage she did this. It was innocent. No tongue. No roughness. Just a soft, sweet kiss.
When they pulled away, both Kang Liang and Lu Shuya's eyes were glazed over and their hearts race. Almost as one.
Suddenly, as if remembering something, Lu Shuya cocked her head.
"What did you mean by you were using your mother as an excuse to spend time with me?" Lu Shuya asked.
Kang Liang felt his heart drop a moment.
"Um..." Kang Liang started averting his eyes.
Lu Shuya frowned, "You found her didn't you?"
Hearing this, Kang Liang looked at her with pure shock.
"How did you know? Are you stalking me?" Kang Liang started. He the. Shook his head and said, "I didn't mean to lie to you... okay, I did. I just wanted to continue this, you know? This me and you friendship partnership thing... I know you might be mad—"
"Don't be stupid. I'm not mad. I'm happy for you." Lu Shuya said seriously. "Did you talk to her yet?"
Kang Liang shook his head. "She's been here for a while and she hadn't come to talk to me..."
She probably doesn't want to see me... Kang Liang thought.
Almost as if she heard his internal words, Lu Shuya grabbed his hand and then she squeezed it.
"Maybe she's afraid to face you..." Lu Shuya said. For a moment, she thought of herself and smiled sadly, "Someone will have to take the first step..."
"And you think that should be me?" Kang Liang said slightly frowning.
Lu Shuya shook her head.
"I think T City is a small place. Maybe you'll cross paths randomly and whomever makes the first move will be glad they did." After saying this, Lu Shuya kissed Kang Liang on the cheek and said, "Like I'm glad you made the first move... so much, in fact, I wished I had been bold enough to do it."
Hearing her words, Kang Liang blushed uncontrollable. Feeling his face redden, he put his hands on his face in embarrassment.
"Why'd you have to say it like that..." he groaned slightly.
Every time I write about Lu Shuya and Kang Liang it never feels enough since they're still at the beginning of the whole dating thing and the whole Kang Liang's mom situation, but still, that is how I felt I should end it.
I can't wait until I have more time to write. For now, I don't have much but around August I should since I need to prepare for the new school year.