Guilty Pleasures

Though he had said they would resume the search in the morning, Vahn adjusted the flow of time within the Little Garden to afford everyone ample time for rest and relaxation.

Ryun's ability to read the paths took into account the number of people who were passing through each car, so from the moment they began their search, they were forced to remain outside for the entire ten-day period. This meant ten days away from his children, and, for others, ten days without from Rindo's cooking.

At this point, Vahn suspected that Rindo's popularity within the Little Garden was even greater than his own. He got along exceptionally well with everyone, and, more often than not, they treated him deferentially. Rindo, however, had become a 'goddess' of sorts, conquering not the hearts, but the stomachs of virtually everyone within the Little Garden.

Though he was reluctant to admit it, even Vahn couldn't go more than a few days without Rindo's cooking. Other food just tasted bland, and, though he could prepare most of her dishes using his own skills, there was always something 'missing' within the final product. He knew this was primarily the difference in intent, as, despite enjoying cooking, Vahn couldn't compare to someone like Rindo whose entire existence seemed to revolve around creating and devouring new dishes.

Fortunately, even though the population of the Emerald Grove had more than doubled in recent months, Rindo could easily keep up with the load thanks to her [Ultimate Culinary God System]. It had a function that allowed her to mass produce any dishes she had already mastered, and, though they had fixed bonuses, their flavor didn't diminish in the slightest. This meant, so long as she had enough ingredients, Rindo could effectively produce an infinite number of exquisite dishes, many of which provided permanent, albeit slight, increases to a person's status and parameters.

Even if they never exercised a day in their life, living within the Emerald Grove and eating Rindo's cooking every day would penultimately result in even mortals ascending to Godhood. This wasn't an exaggeration either, as, thanks to Da Vinci deconstructing the [Nectar of the Gods] years ago, it had now become one of Rindo's 'uncommon' ingredients. This, combined with the fact she used things like Dragon, Hydra, and Phoenix meat in her dishes meant that Rindo's cooking was, quite literally, god-level.

As the primary supplier of Rindo's ingredients, Vahn enjoyed a considerable number of benefits, chief among them being that he was often the second person to sample a new dish. The first was obviously Rindo herself, but, as the person cooking, that was to be expected. What was infinitely more surprising was the fact that Rindo often asked for him to 'produce' ingredients from his own body.

Though he didn't have any issues producing things like Dragon Steak by cutting off his own tail and allowing Rindo to cook it up, things got 'weird' when Rindo began asking for his blood, bones, and other...peculiar...ingredients. She used these to prepare things like soup stock, gelatine, and, though he had never been bold enough to sample it, the parfaits, pudding, and sweet cream she prepared were particularly popular among the female population of the Emerald Grove...

Even several months after the inciting 'incident', Vahn could still vividly recall the scene of Rindo licking fresh cream from her lips as she stared at him with her predatory eyes and matching smile. She was a firm believer in collecting the 'ingredients' herself, as, not only did it help to ensure their freshness, but, as could be expected from something like the [Ultimate Culinary God System], she received numerous bonuses from doing so.

Due to Rindo's insatiable desire to create new dishes, Vahn had what some might describe as an 'inordinate' amount of experience being 'butchered' by the voracious redhead. Despite this, their relationship was actually quite close, and, though it had caused him to perform a spit take at the time, she had even 'returned the favor' by preparing him a special kind of tea using ingredients harvested from her own body. This was something that only he was allowed to have, and, though it was somewhat bittersweet, Vahn had become rather fond of the mellow aftertaste that provided a temporary increase in both sensitivity and libido...

If he had anything to complain about, it was the fact that Fenrir, Illya, and Rindo were no longer the only ones who looked at him with 'hungry' eyes. There were actually quite a number of gluttonous girls among the women comprising his harem, so, after sampling items from Rindo's not-so-secret menu, it had become permanently affixed in their minds that he was 'delicious'. This culminated in a rather drastic increase in the number of bites he received during sex, the chief offenders being girls such as Artoria, Altria, X, and, to a lesser extent, Gray...

Though these changes might have been concerning to some, Vahn didn't particularly mind them as there was also a sharp increase in the number of surprises he received throughout the day and early in the morning. This included waking up to fellatio nearly every morning, and, though they did their best to be discreet about it, principally out of consideration for Hana's propensity for peeping, Vahn experienced an average of ten sexual liaisons per day. This number would be even higher if he took into consideration his experiences in the various fictional worlds he had Actualized, but, as most of those encounters were 'experimental' in nature, he willfully excluded them...

---

Opening his eyes, Vahn found himself in a starry abyss, standing atop a circular platform seemingly formed from some kind of indestructible crystal. He immediately felt the presence of several Laws attempting to cling to him like a viscous and uncomfortable veil, but, with a simple 'shrug', he was able to liberate himself from their influence as he stared at the surprisingly petite woman standing across from him.

Though he was used to her appearing in a different form during each of their encounters, Vahn couldn't help but raise his brows as he asked, "Are you the same Ethereal Queen...?"

Unlike the previous iterations, which were all buxom women with golden hair, shapely figures, and a varying number of angelic wings, the woman standing before him was only around 145cm tall, her figure thin, lithe, and colored a healthy shade of brown. Her eyes, which were usually a breathtaking shade of amethyst, current resembled vibrant green emeralds; and, instead of pure white sclera, the area around them was beset with a blackness reminiscent of the abyss. As for her wings, they were even stranger, as, despite appearing angelic, they more closely resembled the wings of a butterfly than an actual angel...

Giggling in response to the question, the Ethereal Queen shouldered her bident-like staff, smiling as she answered, "My existence is representative of an absolute concept. It is not something that can be bound by a particular shape. Are you not the same?"

Nodding his head in understanding and affirmation, Vahn ceased inspecting her long platinum hair, elf-like ears, and predominately white garments as he manifested Laev-tan and said, "I'll be in your care..."

With her feet gracefully parting from the platform that prohibited others from flying, the Ethereal Queen issued another child-like giggle as she mused, "You are persistent, I'll give you that. I wonder if you'll be able to beat your record of thirteen seconds~?"

Understanding that the battle had already begun, Vahn swung Laev-tan in a slow and graceful arc that, to the untrained eye, resembled a very basic technique. Despite this, the 'world' acknowledged his intention, and, as a result, space, time, and several lesser concepts were cut through as a wave of reddish-black flames resembling a solar flare tore towards the Ethereal Queen at relativistic speeds.

With their perception greatly exceeding their attack speeds, Vahn and the Ethereal Queen could see the wave of fire moving in slow motion as it tore its way through the fabric of reality in an attempt to consume the latter. In response, she directed her bident towards the heavens before 'dropping' it downward like the blade of a guillotine. This caused a terrifying black crack to open between them, perfectly bisecting the wave as the seemingly indestructible platform beneath them shattered like a thin pane of glass.

Having experienced similar attacks in the past, Vahn manifested himself behind the Ethereal Queen, evading her attack by simply ceasing to exist for a brief moment. This allowed him to see the rather beautiful pattern in her wings, his eyes widening slightly as he felt a familiar sensation wash over his mind, much like when he viewed Haruhime's tails. His [Will of the Emperor] erupted outwards in an attempt to resist this effect, but, in spite of the cataclysmic shockwave released, the Ethereal Queen completely ignored it as she spun around and stabbed him in the chest with her bident, smiling as she remarked, "This makes seventeen..." in a voice that echoed within his mind, traveling far faster than the wave of flames moving near the speed of light...

The moment his mind processed the words, Vahn felt an irresistible force flowing through his body, fracturing his very existence within the fictional world. This caused him to experience a backlash on par with the Law of Identity fracturing his Ego, but, unlike then, he could keep himself together due to the disconnect between his manifestation and his 'true self', the inviolable being that maintained the very structure of the Actualized worlds.

Landing with a heavy thud in his Internal World, a pained grunt escaped Vahn's throat as he rolled himself over onto his back, sprawling out in order to reflect on the nigh-instantaneous defeat. The only time he had been able to last more than a few seconds against her was when he attempted to fight her at a distance, wholly focused on evasion and defense rather than defeating her. In nearly every other instance, she would answer his initial attack with an incomprehensible counter, many of which completely defied logic...

Vahn couldn't understand how his attack could be countered by a tear in the void when his attack, quite literally, used the void as a medium to cut through space and time. If anything, it should have made his attack even stronger, as, despite its destructive potential, the void was completely bereft of a medium that could interfere with concept-based attacks. There was literally 'nothing' within the void to interfere with his attack, yet, as if such sentiments didn't matter in the slightest, the Ethereal Queen was, nonetheless, able to cut through it...

Exhaling a tired sigh, Vahn rolled to a seated position before gesturing towards one of the many lights floating within his Internal World. In response, the tiny pink mote began to gravitate toward him before a sudden shift in perspective occurred, resulting in him 'falling' towards the expanding bubble. It quickly expanded to the size of several universes contained within a metaversal sphere before another shift in perspective occurred, this time allowing Vahn to rapidly descend towards his destination, a pristine world that was roughly two-thirds the size of Gaia...

Before he could even fully manifest, a relaxed smile plastered itself across Vahn's face as the voice of a young woman suddenly exclaimed, "Ah! Kami-sama has returned! Someone send a missive to Galette and Pastillage~!"

Opening his eyes, Vahn found an adorable pink-haired girl with dog-like ears and a tail floundering about with an excited expression on her face, tail wagging happily as she directed her attendants to make preparations for a feast. She seemed to sense his gaze, a lovely smiling blooming across her face as she practically spun towards the altar that had been prepared for him, running up the steps before leaping the remaining distance, pouncing on him as she happily exclaimed, "Welcome back, Kami-sama~!"

As if it was the most natural thing in the world, Vahn began petting the young Chienthropes head with his right hand while using his left to stroke the right side of her face and dig into the fur near her ears. This caused her tail to wag even faster, a contented laugh emanating from her throat as she shamelessly rubbed her cheek against his palm. This caused Vahn's smile to widen, the look in his eyes softening as he lightly muttered, "Millhi...I've only been gone for a few days...I appreciate your eagerness, but there is no need to celebrate every time I visit..."

Without losing her smile in the slightest, Millhi, better known as Millhiore Firianno Biscotti, Princess of the Biscotti Republic, cheerfully retorted, "Nonsense! Everyone is happiest whenever Kami-sama is around! Leo and the rest wouldn't forgive me if I didn't inform them of your arrival at the earliest possible moment~!"

Unable to refute her words, Vahn just chuckled in response to Millhi's statement as he continued to caress her addictively soft hair. One of the main reasons he frequented this particular world, formed from an adorable anime known as Dog Days, was due to the pervasiveness of people with animal traits, the peculiar way in which they waged wars, and, most importantly, their fondness for petting and being petted by others. All he needed to do was prevent a handful of tragedies, clear up a few misunderstandings, and participate in a few 'recreational wars' before becoming a central figure in the peculiar world. Since then, he had been elevated to the status of a God, and, whenever he was feeling troubled, he liked to stop by and experience the overwhelming positivity present within the inordinately fluffy world.

With this in mind, Vahn continued to fluff up Millhi's hair, smiling as the Princess happily nuzzled against his hand without any amorous intentions or desires. She just enjoyed being pet, and, as the 'God of Petting', there were none better than him in the entire metaverse...

(A/N: Alternate Titles: 'Delicious (OwO)...','Paradoxical Omnipotence at its finest...','Someone arrest this man...!')

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