Interlude: Alone Together

--Nathan Carter--

Sitting by myself in the front yard swing, I looked up at the dark night sky. Summer was fading away and the leaves were beginning to fall. The crickets weren't chirping as loud and the summer colors that once bloomed were now dwindling.

There was only so much time that we had, before friends could become strangers and lushness could turn into ashes; yet here I was wasting my days longing for someone who was already in a relationship. Well he wasn't just someone; he was my best friend. My best friend who helped me realize my sexuality.

Why did this sting of rejection last so long? Was it because I was just so fucking lonely? Or was it because I regretted not asking him out sooner? Or maybe I shouldn't have told him about my feelings at all, if I had known it would only lead to me suffering like this.

I peered at his window and saw that he wasn't home.

Out with Brad again, I thought. And this time to some random pool party; they probably were all laughing together and drinking while I was here crying and shit.

I took a deep breath and took out my phone. After typing 'how to get over someone' on the Google search bar, I tapped on a wikihow page.

"Don't bottle up your emotions", the first step read. "Cry. Bawl your eyes out. Scream into a pillow. Shout obscenities at the wall."

Okay.

"AAAAAAAARRH!" I cried, shouting my sadness away. "WHYYYYYYYYYYY!"

My voice echoed across the dark neighborhood, with a few barks of some dogs answering my call.

That felt freeing.

"AAAAAARHHHHHHH!!"

"What the fuck are you doing?" My older sister Tegan sat down next to me on the swing.

"Oh, just trying to fucking get over my best friend who's now in a fucking relationship." I mockingly replied.

"Oh." She said. "You mean Luca?"

"Yep. He's dating our fucking English professor cause he's some hot bitch and I ain't."

She put her hand around my shoulder and hugged me.

"Hey, Nathan…" Tegan spoke. "Let it all out. I'm here for you."

I sobbed quietly in her arms.

"Thanks sis."

"Wanna go eat something or watch a movie? I think we have peanut butter ice cream." She gave me a reassuring smile.

I wiped away a tear and smiled back.

"You're the best."