A Quest for Plates

"Plates, I need plates." Nathan and I walked along the paths in the maze of furniture and appliances that is IKEA.

On this bright and sunny Tuesday, we've decided to shop for home and kitchen accessories while my boyfriend Brad was occupied with work from the board of education. A pity, I know.

The illness that had been clouding me for days had finally cleared and I was feeling like myself again.

We were in the textiles and rugs section of the floor when Nathan suddenly brushed my hand with his while we were walking.

"I don't think anyone will care about our gay PDA." He whispered in my ear, and grabbed my hand.

I smirked at him and swung our hands back and forth like third graders.

"We should hang out more like this," I said. "Just the two of us."

"Hey, Ped! Nathan!" A voice called out from behind us.

We both turned around in a clueless manner, and saw a blonde guy walking towards us with another person.

"Oh hey! Christian!" Nathan waved frantically. "Man, it's been years. How are you?"

"I'm great, Nathan!" Christian beamed. "Today's my last day in Ophrus before I leave for London again."

"I had no idea you were here again." I patted his shoulder. "Why didn't you text us?"

"I've been pretty busy with work, you know." He gestured with his hand.

"Where are my manners? Guys, this is my friend, Tyler Bukhari."

Christian's friend stepped out from behind him.

Tyler was a stocky young fellow wearing a stylish polka-dotted button-down shirt and nice dress pants. A mature scent of warm, leathery perfume radiated from his body, and I could see an Apple Watch on his wrist that had a rainbow nylon band. That was a clear sign indicating he was one of us homosexuals, I thought.

He had an oval face with bushy eyebrows and a small beard. His lips were thick, big and so was his nose. Unlike Christian, he had short black hair like me and Nathan.

"Nice to meet you, Tyler." Nathan and I both extended our arms at the same time, and Tyler laughed as he shook both our hands.

"Nice to meet you guys as well." He had a deep, sultry voice. "You two lads must be close."

Nathan and I blushed and glanced at each other.

"Friends of Christian, aye?" He winked. "Can I ask-?"

"No, not like that." Christian chimed in. "They're my high school friends."

"Oh, hah. Should've said so." Tyler looked at him.

"What?" Nathan blurted out in confusion.

"I thought you guys were also strippers." Tyler roared with laughter.

"What? We aren't!" I spoke.

"Well, that's a waste." Tyler gave Nathan's butt a pat.

"Okay, guys." Christian spoke. "I'm sorry to cut this short but I need to pick up some tea light candles ASAP and leave. I've something to do later."

"Hey, I'd like to stay with these guys." Tyler put one hand around my shoulder, and the other around Nathan's.

"Alright, you guys have fun." Christian bid us farewell, but not before he leaned in closer to my ear and whispered, "call me some time."

And just like that, Christian had left in a whirl again.

Tyler put his arm away.

I sighed and turned around to see him standing directly behind me.

"Let's go then, Tyler." I called.

"I'm not Tyler," He said.

"What do you mean you're not Tyler? If you're not Tyler, then who- "

Just then, a person identical to Tyler walked up and stood next to him.

I was lost for a second, seeing them both stand shoulder to shoulder. I thought I was hallucinating.

"Oh my god, you are twins!" Nathan suddenly burst.

"Hahaha, yup. We just like messing with people!" Tyler laughed. "This is my identical twin, Abel. And Abel, this is Ped and Nathan. Christian's friends."

Abel smiled and greeted us with his hands pressed together, palms touching.

"It's a pleasure to meet you." He spoke with an accent.

Abel looked completely identical to Tyler in every single detail except that Abel's watch had a white band instead. Other than that, I couldn't differentiate them at all by appearance.

We were introduced to each other, and after a quick round of laughs, we continued our IKEA journey in search of plates.

During our conversations, we found out that Abel and Tyler were actually notorious gay porn stars sharing the stage name 'fuckbuddies' and were much sought for being hot gay twins and all. After interacting with them, I could feel that they were actually very different personality-wise. Abel was the cooler, calmer one and Tyler the funnier, more energetic one. Their mannerisms were also a bit varied, to say the least, with Abel being the politer one. They then asked if Nathan and I were in a relationship, to which we both answered no.

In the end, we went on chatting for hours and passed by the kitchenware section without getting the plates we needed. Thus, our quest ended in ignorant vain.