Comments of chapter undefined of The Mech Touch
The Mech Touch
Exlor
Chapter comments217
This was a very boring addition to the story. Only three chapters in and we transition away from the protagonist to the perspective of two random brats with no current importance to the narrative. The chapter then focuses on the poor performance of the protagonist's alarmingly flawed first design, and its pilot who is too inexperienced to recognize that he bought a lemon. This is very bad for the plot's initial pacing. The entire combat should have been omitted. If the author really wanted to include it, it should have appeared later as a recording watched by the protagonist, perhaps as he tries to understand why someone would not only purchase, but even use, the imbalanced heap of scrap he designed.
There are a few more grammar mistakes this chapter. You forgot to add a space between boy and another word twice. You used massed much less instead of had much less mass. There was also some tense variation, which is more of a stylistic choice. Regardless, the chapter was still fun to read, and your work is still of higher quality than most. Keep up the good work!
