Worms in the Sand

I've got…what, 9,950 more EXP until level 26?

That would be pretty easy to do, especially since we're just running along in the desert.

I had considered just flying up as high as I could, but I felt like I wanted to keep the fact that I could fly a secret. Partially because, well…I didn't do it that much anymore. I mean, sure, occasionally I got to behold gorgeous skies and beautiful sunsets and incredible vistas of untold wonder…but mostly, it became a method of travel to avoid having to circumvent or climb over a mountain and I could do that already by you know…jumping.

Plus, flying was a great way to get some quiet solitude when I wasn't feeling like, you know, staying in the vault.

"So, we need to find another team-" Nichiren began.

Perception Check Success: 8/8.

A bloodworm, this one vastly smaller than the one that I had seen off in the distance, jumped out from the dunes. It was about the size of my forearm and my fist collided with it's underside, sending a shower of blood and guts into the air. I brushed a bloody giblet out of my hair.

+25 EXP.

Only 25? Really?

There better be a mountain of these worm things waiting for me. I know I'm not supposed to be living for EXP anymore, but come on. It's the Chunin Exams. It had better have just a ton of EXP and…wait, what if I get level 30 off of this?

…that…I'm not sure how I feel about that. Suddenly get full and complete awareness of social cues, and total understanding of every social situation that I've ever been in and how I could've handled it.

Six worms, each the length of my leg and as thick as my torso leapt from the sands, their three-pointed mouths open and gaping for us. I'm not sticking my fist in there, so I'm punching above them and below them.

Punch, slide, punch, slide, punch, slide…oh, Nichiren and Hisako got the other three. Darn.

+25 EXP.

+25 EXP.

+25 EXP.

"So, as I was saying," Nichiren said, winding up the Ninja Wire he had used to slice up that one worm. "Before I was rudely interrupted, that we need to find another team and take their scroll as fast as possible, then I want to get to the plateau as fast as possible."

"We have three days before we need to be there," I argued. "We could stay here and kill worms for like a day or two after getting the scrolls."

"Look, Daisuke," Nichiren began. "You might be able to take getting attacked by packs of these disgusting things for days on end, but Hisako and I can't. Every day we spend out here, the more likely we're going to get jumped by a bigger worm that'll eat us whole or we're collapse from exhaustion."

"…right, sorry. Yeah, let's get this done quick," I slowly started to nod. "We get to the plateau and then I can see if I can go squish worms while the exam is still going on."

It made sense. The Forest of Death was like a maze, a maze with giant creatures, but a maze. You had a high probability of getting lost and never knowing where you're supposed to go. The Dunes of Blood, however? You could always see the plateau in the distance and you could make out oncoming pursuers way before they actually get to you. The thing that made the Dunes dangerous were the worms, which made the area a death trap which could go off at any time. The longer you stayed in the dunes, the more dangerous they got.

I might want EXP but I don't want Hisako and Nichiren to die. Besides it's only 9,850 more points, I'll get that soon enough. Level 30 isn't even an if anymore, it's a when. I can be patient, right? Right.

Perception Check Success: 8/8.

Wait, the sand is starting to shake beneath my feet. Huh. "You guys feel that?"

"Worm!" Hisako shouted. "Clear the area!"

Oh, we cleared the area alright. A huge leap from me to the next dune while Nichiren and Hisako did likewise. I've already gotten eaten once in my life, I don't ever want a repeat. A few seconds later, the sand erupted and a long, purple, scaly long thing burst out.

Intelligence Check Success: 10/5.

You know, that's not a worm.

That' a snake.

A really, really big, purple snake thing.

That means that Orochimaru's nearby. Right? Right. I suppose I should've guessed, Suna helped with his invade in the main timeline so of course he's going to be here looking for new hosts. Which likely means me.

I already feel violated.

Okay, time to put as much death and destruction between me and the memetic pedophile – well, hebephile, technically, as is possible. And since he brought his giant snake here with him, I've got no reason besides potentially forfeiting a mountain of EXP than to summon my own giant…thing.

"Summoning Jutsu!" I called out for the benefit of my teammates who don't need to be slinging pain at the God Emperor of Penguin-Kind.

"You have a summons?" Hisako asked, alarmed.

Well, several things happened. Number one, I shot up, completely by surprise, fifty feet in the air, suspended by a platform that I had no idea what was doing there. Then I realized that I wasn't simply standing on the Emperor's head. Then I had to stop myself from laughing at the fact that I was standing on the head of the God Emperor of Penguin-kind.

"That was fairly quick," The Emperor rumbled underneath me. "Why would you-ah, I see."

"He brought a boss summon, I brought a boss summon," I replied, looking down at him. "It only seemed fair."

Then the snake, having hit the ground and coiled around for another attack, lunged. The emperor slid to the side, commanding the sand beneath him like the ice of the artic.

"Is that a reptile?" The Emperor asked. "I've only heard about them. Cold blooded?"

"That's right," I said with a nod.

"Then this will be simple."

Then the Emperor fell onto his back and turned in place to slide on his stomach and I got off of the mans head. Making way toward my team.

The emperor turned around, making hand-signs with his claws behind him and opening his beak to spew a snowstorm at the snake. Yes, I said snow storm. My boss summon that breaths blizzards is fighting a giant, cold blooded snake.

Hisako was just staring at the fight going on, with the snake trying to lunge forward and bite, only for the Emperor to slide just out of the way. It tried to spit poison but then the Emperor just reversed course on a literal dime like a 2D target in a shooting range.

"Daisuke…what is that?" She asked, pointing at the Emperor with a nonplussed look as Nichiren jumped forward with a similar expression.

"It's a penguin!" I said with a smile.

"What's a penguin?" Nichiren asked, taking his glasses and wiping his glasses off before putting them on again.

"It's a flightless bird native to the frozen reaches of the world." Well, technically, penguins were native to more places than just the artic, but as I understand they mostly prefer colder climates, yes? "Or, you know. That's a penguin. The Penguin boss to be specific."

"Okay, so where did the snake come from?" Hisako asked.

"Summoned, probably," Nichiren said. "Doesn't Mitarashi-san have the snake summon?"

"She does," I confirmed with a nod. "As does her former mentor, Orochimaru."

Perception Check Success: 8/8.

I whirled around and threw a punch, which my target, a Suna shinobi who I barely recognized from the first stage of the exam, dodged to the side before his neck extended and I brought my fist up through the neck, causing yet another fountain of blood to spurt all over the sand.

The corpse fell down and in a flash of smoke, was revealed to be nothing more than a log with an excessively long branch.

The Emperor Penguin used a frozen stretch of the snake to hop and get a little air-time before continuing his icy assault. That's hilarious – awful manners, but hilarious.

My skin started to tingle as what I could only describe as pure malice started to wash over me. Kind of like rotten lemons, all sour but with none of the flavor that makes people like lemons. I mean, I don't actually know what rotten lemons taste like, I'm just guessing that the feeling I'm getting is fairly close to it.

That's Orochimaru's killing intent. Not as intense as I thought it would be. Maybe I'm just higher level than it would be for it to affect me.

Beside me, Hisako gulped. I looked to her and saw that she had broken out into a cold sweat, tightly holding her senbon needles between her fingers as she scanned for threats. On the opposite side, Nichiren was spooling and unspooling his ninja wire.

The Sand Ninja pulled himself up out of the sand, looking more amused than anything in spite of the fact that his skin seemed to be peeling itself away, revealing the disguise underneath. His eyes were yellow, like a snake's.

"You're quite skilled, Shimoda-kun," He may have been disguised, but that was Orochimaru alright. "I admire the way you're the only one not even phased by my killing intent."

"Can we get back to fighting?" I asked, cracking my knuckles. "I'm not good at talking."

"But why should we fight?" Orochimaru asked.

"Because I don't like you."

That made him stop and then he started laughing.

A howl of rage and frustration sounded, bringing my attention to the Penguin Emperor, standing over an overly long tube of ice and…oh. The summon de-summoned himself. Huh. "He fled! The coward fled! Oh, that is aggravating!"

I looked back and Orochimaru was gone. Of course, he was gone. My summon completely demolished his summon. But I was feeling more than a little aggravated myself. I wanted a fight and I wanted a fight with the guy who made Anko's life miserable. Well, actually, I just wanted to test out my new fission release jutsu and kill him in the process.

Why did he start talking? That's annoying. Why didn't I just blast him while he was talking? I'm an idiot.

"Alright, Daisuke-kun," The Emperor slid up to me. "Part of the agreement was you could only summon me once a year."

I nodded.

"Allow me, then, to hand you an exception," The Emperor took a breath. "The next time you see that cowardly serpent, you are to summon me. I want another crack at him."

"You got it Emperor-sama," I replied with a bow.

"Very good," He said. "Now, is this your ninja cell?"

"Yup. This is Yamada Hisako and Nakamura Nichiren," I replied introducing my Genin team.

"A pleasure to meet you both," The Emperor said with a slight nod.

"Nice to meet you," Hisako returned the greeting hesitantly, giving him a bow of respect.

"Very nice to meet you," Nichiren did the same.

"Are you keeping Daisuke out of trouble?" The Emperor asked, raising an eye-muscle.

"He's kind of staying out of it on his own, actually," Hisako said, sounding a little surprised as she said it. "It's been nice."

"Hm. Good," The Emperor said. "I'm glad the Captain got through to him."

"Uh…can we not talk about that?" I asked, attempting to smile.

"How did the Captain get through to him?" Nichiren asked, sounding legitimately interested.

"Emperor-sama, please," I began.

"They were talking about tactics one day and every time he said something dumb, the captain hit him with a snowball," The Emperor continued, utterly heedless to my requests. "I understand he was soaking wet and coated with frost when they were finished."

"That's hilarious!" Hisako crowed, laughing hard enough she had to hold her gut.

"Yes, yes. Very funny," I frowned.

"Why didn't that ever occur to me?" Nichiren asked.

"Does it snow in the Land of Fire?" The Emperor asked in return.

"No," Nichiren shook his head.

"That's why," The giant, overstuffed penguin nodded sagely.

"I mean, I think we could've used something else," Hisako said. "Like, I don't know, sand-balls? Ooh! Dirt-clods!"

And now I'm thinking of that one episode of Recess from so long ago. That one where the girl with a beanie got framed by the school tattle-tale? Yeah in a dirt-clod war.

The Emperor actually chuckled. "I like you. If that's the end of that, I'll be heading back to the artic and…what is that?"

Off in the distance, the worm Queen had surfaced and judging from the sparks surrounding her, was attacking a group of ninja that were sure to be dead soon.

"The queen of the blood worms that have infested these dunes," I explained with a shrug. "Why?"

"Hm. Okay, I'll go after the queen first and see if my subjects enjoy worm-meat," The Emperor licked his beak.

Uh…what? "Come again?"

"It looks delicious," The Emperor elaborated.

Hisako and Nichiren looked as lost as I did. "Emperor-sama, I don't believe you'll be able to digest worm-meat."

"Nonsense! If it's meat, we can cook it," The Emperor said before zipping off on his stomach. "I'll go back to the artic after I'm done, no need to follow!"

"Daisuke," Hisako said. "What?"

"Let's just go," I sighed.

"No, no, no," Nichiren protested. "What is a penguin and why does he think worms look delicious?"

"I don't know, but when I met them, they were already eating sharks and sea lions," I answered with a sigh. "They love food."

"What's a sea lion?" Hisako asked, still looking lost and confused.

"A type of seal," I explained.

"I…okay, let's just go," Hisako sighed and with that, we were off.

We began heading toward the Plateau in the distance. See, the best thing about getting closer to our destination was that as we got closer to the fortress, we got closer to everyone else, which meant it was easier to find victims – I mean other contestants.

No, no. I mean victims.

We crested another dune and the Plateau was clearly in sight. You know what was also in sight? Well, a trio of Ninja from Earth who had just arrived. Oh, well. They'll just enter the plateau with their scrolls and we'll have to wait for the fighting to start to get our chance.

Or no. They're hiding in the sands…setting up an ambush. Why would they…oh. They don't have both scrolls. They're laying an ambush for people who come, hoping to jack them and take their scroll. Well planned, actually.

"Nichiren, you're our mole. You want to go tie them up so we can see what they've got?" Hisako asked, folding her arms.

"Eh…sure. They don't look too tough," Nichiren said, burrowing into the sands like, well, a mole.

"I could've done something," I said, folding my arms.

"Yeah, but I wanted Nichiren to do it," Hisako replied, taking a seat. "You handled the written exam for us, so he gets to do something now and if they don't have an Earth scroll, I'll handle the next group and so on."

"But-but-," I started to interrupt.

"Besides, you already scared away whoever that was by summoning a direct counter to his boss summon," Hisako continued from her spot on the sand. "Come on, let Nichiren and I have some fun."

She didn't know that was Orochimaru. Alright then. "Sure, okay."

The question is, did I scare him off or is he waiting for another opportunity?

"I got them!" Nichiren called from plateau right as I sat down.

We both stood up and zipped down. Nichiren had them each tied up with wire, gagged with bags over their heads. "I was right, they weren't very tough."

"So, what scroll did they have?" I asked.

"Jackpot," Hisako said, pulling an Earth scroll out from the belt of one of the tied up, unfortunate saps.

Said unfortunate sap began shaking and struggling to get free, trying to shout through the gag.

"Uh, you'll let them go once we're inside, right?" I asked with a frown.

"Oh yeah," Nichiren waved it off. "They'll be off the hook once we're inside."

"Nice," I said, slapping an FTG seal on the sand below my feet. "Let's head inside."

Inside is a hallway with an identical number of doors on either side, ending with an end-table with a bowl and mirror nailed to the wall above it.

"Uh…I guess we pick a room?" I said with a shrug.

"I guess we do," Hisako nodded, going immediately to the right and opening the first door, coming to a wide and spacious chamber with a door at the end. "Alright, I think we open the scrolls here."

We did so and…out popped a random Chunin. Well, okay, he was one of the proctors of the first part of the exam. But anyway.

Quest Updated: The Chunin Exams.

Competed: Complete Phase 1.

Completed: Complete Phase 2.

Complete Phase 3.

Optional: Don't kill anyone during the exams.

He went on a tangent about the Shinobi Wars and being a Chunin and being loyal to your village, yadda, yadda, yadda. Nichiren and Hisako asked him a few questions but I was so utterly bored with being lectured that I had no interest in anything he was saying.

Beyond the complete lack of anything mentioning teamwork. That was kind of neat. I mean, I like my team but…I do. Hisako and Nichiren are easily in my top 10 of greatest friends ever. But looking back on it, they've been an albatross around my neck. The team in general, getting in serious trouble if I did anything without them, getting emotionally strung up every time I've accidentally offended them, being completely not in the right state of mind to deal with Hisako's crush, Nichiren being a scared jackrabbit for the first little while.

Sensei thinking he's in charge of my every freaking move.

When I'm Chunin, I might never work with them again. Heck, I might not want to work with them again. That thought…once so liberating, is a little frightening now that I might actually get my wish. Looking back on it, I think there might have been times when I wanted to lay the three of them out just for being difficult. Not blow their brains out, just rough them up a bit so they'd leave me alone.

I shook my head as we passed through the door into the fortress proper. Don't think that way. They're my friends. Friends that have caused me quite a bit of pain, but friends nonetheless.

The set up for the fortress was the same as the 'thunder dome' back in the forest of death. An arena with a small barrack built off from it. If you arrived on the first day, like we did, you could rest in the fortress while the other Genin worked harder and harder to get here on time.

Assuming they weren't worm food.

…you know, stepping outside tonight to see if there's worms I can gib might be worth my while and who knows. Maybe I might save some lucky soul from getting devoured by doing so.

We walked down the walkway built around the arena. Ahead of us, I spotted Hiruzen, the Kazekage…and Gaara. Oh, now Gaara's right in front of us, having moved in a gust of sand. Now I'm in a staring contest with him. Okay.

"You," He finally said.

"Hi," I responded.

"You. Mother doesn't like you," Gaara sniffed, turning his head just slightly to the side, giving me a better view of the kanji for love that had been cut into his skull. "She doesn't. She says you're wrong."

Interesting. Shukaku can sense I'm a dimensional intruder. I wonder what the Kyuubi has to say about me, given how much time I've spent around Naruto.

"Hey what do you mean by that?" Hisako asked, her eyes narrowing into a glare.

"Ah, Cell 13," The Hokage appeared at my side. "I'm glad to see that you've made it. Were you the first to arrive?"

"I think so," I shrugged…you know, I actually wonder if I can beat 'The God of Shinobi' in battle. I doubt it, but you know. Stuff to think about.

"Very good," Hiruzen nodded. "Yamada-chan, Nakamura-kun, good to see you alright and in one piece."

"Thanks, Hokage-sama," The replied in stereo, giving a respectful bow.

"This is the team you were asking about," The Hokage told the Kazekage with a bright smile.

"A very talented team to be sure," The Kazekage replied coolly.

"I see you've met the Kazekage's son," The Hokage replied.

"We still haven't got his name," Nichiren sounded nervous now for whatever reason.

Gaara never broke eye contact with me. "Gaara. Gaara of the Desert."

"Shimoda Daisuke," I introduced myself.

…is my team going to introduce themselves.

"Perhaps you three should find your rooms and turn in," The Hokage suggested, still smiling. "You've had a long journey, you should get some rest."

"Yes, Hokage-sama," Hisako gave him a rapid bow and the two of them quickly walked off. Then Hisako grabbed me by the sleeve. "Come on, we should get some rest."

"Alright," I replied, following after them.

After just diving in my room with a quick good night to the two, I was off again. Well, kind of. I actually slept for like…six hours so the sun would've actually gone down. With an FTG seal planted in my room meant I could return at any time and I gleefully noted there were no windows looking into my room.

So off I was into the cool, desert night, flying like a rocket, trying to find, I don't know…I don't think Orochimaru would just be wandering the training ground so I doubt I'll have cause to test my nuke jutsu – wait, you know what I just realized? If I kill Orochimaru, I'll fail my optional objective and I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing in this case.

Down on the desert floor, I saw sand…more sand…lots more sand. It's interesting that I can't see any worms jumping the sand like how it's Queen often did. Actually, what happened to the queen? Was the Emperor successful in making her his next meal, something I still can't believe he attempted?

I can't help but think that the Penguin's insatiable appetite is a metaphor for something. Perhaps, my lust for EXP?

And now my drive to go skoosh worms is gone. Fan-flipping-tastic. How the heck did they end up like that? You know, they don't even match the theme of the other summons. I mean, you've got toads, slugs, monkeys, snakes, all things that, I think play a role in Japanese Mythology. I do recall Jiraiya, Tsunade and Orochimaru were all figures of myth that the main series, Naruto, was based on.

Penguins did not enter into that. They don't make any sense in this context. Kind of like me.

Exactly like me, actually. Which begs the question, they've mentioned that they had other types of applicants in the past…just who were they and how did they get matched up with those maniacs?

Wait, what's that dark patch on the sand there?

I flew down to get a closer look, the light shining through my invisible form.

…that is a huge blood stain. Like, utterly massive. As if a giant living in the clouds had decided he didn't want his can of red paint and so he dumped it out and it fell all the way here to the desert and soaked the sand.

Looks like the Emperor was successful. Is he going to regurgitate it for his subjects? Do male penguins regurgitate their food to feed their children? Oh, gosh. That is disgusting. That…ew. Ew. That is disgusting. Absolutely disgusting and wrong.

Nope, nope, nope. We're not thinking about that right now. Nope.

Alright, so…where else can we go? Hey, that's a Ninja camp! With worms! Let's go skoosh some worms. Get my mind off of my summons. Yeah.

I swooped down to the camp, a trio of tents that had been set up. What I assumed were worms crawling around…well, I wasn't wrong. But those worms were stuffed full, having their whole bodies artificially inflated by the Genin they had swallowed. Legs and hands were the only things sticking out of these things mouths.

Darn it, I was trying to get away from the disgusting, thank you!

Alright, whatever. I'm going to skoosh these things, see if I can rouse the Genin and get them to keep better watch.

+50 EXP.

+50 EXP.

+50 EXP.

9,700 more EXP until level 26.

I gently laid my hand on each worm, sending chakra strings into the inside and ripped them open like blossoming flowers. Sadly, chakra strings can't cut, they aren't scalpels or the Rasengan. Actually, that thing grinds, it doesn't slice. But they can push and pull. They can push and pull really good.

The Genin I had pulled out with from Hidden cloud, the toga-things giving away their identity as much as their headbands. Given the lack of degradation on their bodies, this attack was recent. If I had to guess, the worm's saliva acted as a sedative to the victim and I think whoever they had on watch had fallen asleep.

With my finger, I scooped up some of the saliva and sniffed it. Besides smelling disgusting, I couldn't tell anything else. I knelt down beside each of them and saw that yes, they were still breathing and their hearts were still beating, but only barely. They'd recover.

…are they going to recover soon?

No?

Alright, plan B. I'm not sitting here all night.

I unsealed a trio of stim packs and made a couple of clones. In unison, we jammed the stimpacks into the artery in their legs. Once the stimulants had finished pumping, I dispelled the clones and gathered the syringes.

The first to awake was the one with dark skin and black hair, tied into a top knot and slickened with saliva. He rubbed the back of his head and froze has he pulled the clump of saliva from the back of his head to his face. Then he yelped in surprise, stirring the teammate next to him.

"What, Takeo?" This was the girl of the team. She slowly sat up, revealing a hair-style I can only describe as Pikachu – yellow-gold with black highlights, the ends of her hair cut in a jagged line like a lightning bolt. She, like her teammates was dressed in that white toga-like armor they all wore with darker clothing beneath it. Then she looked at her teammate, then around her, then she screamed. "Why am I covered in slime? Yoshimitsu! You were supposed to be on watch!"

You know, these guys were noobs. Nothing else to describe it.

"Huh? What? Where's the worms?" Yoshi was bald and his skin was green as if he were suffering from an unusually high dose of bilirubin in his blood – he had jaundice, in other words. He was looking around frantically. "They jumped me, where'd they go? I…oh…"

He finally saw me. "The three of you are really lucky I was here."

They all hastily drew kunai and fell back in a defensive formation, standing up and fumbling over themselves as the sedative hadn't left their systems yet. It was more than a little annoying, seeing them staring at me with panicked, unblinking eyes.

"You know, if I wanted the three of you dead, I would've just left you to the worms," I pointed out in irritation. "A thank you would be nice."

"Yeah, well…" The girl started, looking around with her eyes, but never leaving the crouch she was in with her kunai. "What do you want in thanks?"

Charisma Check Failed: 4/6.

"The words 'thank you'?" I responded, resisting the urge to grind my teeth at the game telling me I failed. Again.

The three looked at each other in confusion before the girl finally responded. "Thank you?"

"You're welcome," I said, trying to smile but giving up when I remembered what my smile looked like. "Anyway, you guys might want to move your camp. The noise you made really stands out here in the dunes and you've got…what? Ten or Twenty more teams that want to kill you and take your scroll? I'd hate for the work I put in saving your lives to go to waste."

She tilted her head in confusion. "Why did you help us, exactly?"

"I felt like it," I replied with a shrug. "Seemed like a good thing to do, you know?"

"Sure," 'Yoshi' replied nodding.

"Anyway, with the meds I gave you, you'll shake the sedative from your systems in another ten seconds or so," I continued. "You should be good to move for the rest of the night, which is a good thing because most worms are nocturnal and I don't think you'll want to stay in once place while they're active. Also, I didn't get your name."

"Uh…" Pikachu-hair blinked in confusion.

"Takeo, Yoshi, Mystery Girl," I said, pointing to the three Genin in succession. "What's your name?"

"Oh, um…I'm Ayako," She said, looking off to the side. "Nogi Ayako."

"Nice to meet you. With that out of the way, I'm off," I said, moving to leave the campsite.

"Wait, don't you want our scroll?" Yoshi asked incredulously.

"Yoshi!" Ayako hissed in anger.

"Oh, my team's already at the fortress. I just left to get some fresh air," I explained before giving them a goodbye wave. "Good luck."

I turned invisible and they just stared at the place where I was. I turned to leave for real when…

"Okay, am I dreaming?" Yoshi started. "Or did the monster our sensei warn us about just save our lives?"

"Look, don't question it," Takeo barked, moving to pack up his gear and tent. "Hurry, we got to move before we bring the whole exam down on our heads. Thanks, Ayako."

"I woke up and was covered in slime!" She barked right back at him, moving to pick up her stuff. "Thanks, Yoshi!"

"I told you I got jumped!" Yoshi argued back.

"Guys! Shush!" Takeo hissed at them. "We'll discuss it when we get out of here!"

Let's fly up…anyone coming after them? No? Alright, they're in the clear, I guess.

…people have been getting warned about me?

That's flattering in its own, weird way.