15 Bandits

Bandit1: "Give up we've got you surrounded, Leave all your valuables and leave the carriage slowly and perhaps you might live to see tomorrow"

Armada:"Well shit, why the hell do i have to deal with bandits this early? Any ideas of what to do Akatosh?"

Akatosh:" host this is an opportunity to court death! I've already scanned the surrounding and there is only 5 bandits most of them are normal mortals only that Bandit that kept yelling has a body at the peak of the mortal realm. Host should grab this heaven given opportunity to court death"

Armada:" but will it be fine? I've never really fought beforehand so what if I die?"

Akatosh:" it's alright just put your CD points into vitality and tire them out."

Armada:"... You want me to be a punching bag? Is that what this is?"

Akatosh:" No no host you're mistaken. You wont be just any punching bag, you'll be an invincible punching bag. Host already has high innate VIT due to your bloodline and if you add any more boosts with CD points you'll be a cockroach at the Mortal level."

Armada:"... You know what, fuck it why not."

Saying that i got out to face my would be assailants and just like Akatosh said there's 5 of them. Ragged clothes, red bandana and some sticks. Seems like time hit these guys hard the only one with anything close to a weapon is the boss Bandit, the guy who's been yelling around, though even that is nothing but a rusty sword. Alright lets get this done with.

Armada:"... You know when you guys were yelling all that about robbing and killing me, i thought this shit would be troublesome but what the actual fuck... How broke are you that you guys cant even afford anything better than a wooden stick?! Rob me? looking at how you guys are equiped you're lucky if you can even give me a massage and yet you blabber on about robbing me. You poor fucks give bandits all around a bad name. Did your boss fire your job as a farmer that yall just decided to grab some random stuff on the side and rob?"

Bandit1:" Y-Y-YOU!!! WHAT DO YOU KNOW?! Do you know how it feels to work 30 years on a farm and never get a raise and in the end you get laid off cause the farm owner decided that he wants to open a bakery instead?! 30 years and suddenly you're told to fuck off?!"

Armada:" huh? i was actually right?"

Bandit1:"I'll have you know us 5 brothers have actually managed to rob a Qi stage cultivator of 5 gold once! You think you're going to fare better than a cultivator?!"

Armada:" umm about that, are you sure it wasnt that the Qi stage cultivator giving you a few gold coins so that he doesnt have to chop you down with his sword? he was probably afraid that by killing you idiots his sword spirit's IQ in the future would go down...."

Bandit1:" YOU'RE COURTING DEATH! Brothers get him! This pretty boy's probably loaded with a bunch of Sugar Daddys!"

Armada:" HEY NOW NO NEED TO GET PERSONAL YOU PIECE OF SHIT"

DING DING

Akatosh:" Host you have obtained 40 CD Points how would you like to use them?"

Armada:" Convert them into VIT and give me the sword we got before"

Akatosh:" 40CD converted into 4 VIT and Iron sword has been withdrawn from storage space."

Name:[Armada]

Rank:[Mortal]

EXP till next rank: [100]

Stats: [STR=4].[AGI=8],[INT=2],[SPR=9],[VIT=11(7+4)]

Ding Ding~

Akatosh:" Congratulations Host VIT has exceeded the mortal limit! Achievement has been unlocked! [Human Cockroach]! By exceeding the limits of a realm you can sometimes obtain Achievements and buffs on occasion. [Human Cockroach] Achievement has given Host permanent +1 Base Vitality"

Stats: [STR=4].[AGI=8],[INT=2],[SPR=9],[VIT=12(8+4)]

Armada:" I dont like that Achievement but i guess its fine. Stats are stats after all..."

Bandit1:" Brothers watch out! He might have a storage ring as well! We've hit Jackpot!"

Looking at the bandits running at me for some reason i'm feeling excitement rather than fear. It may be because of the boost in VIT just now that made me brimming with power or it may be because this is my first life or death situation.

I decided to go after Bandit1 first as he's probably the most threatening, the other bandits dont have any real lethal weapons and with my vitality right now theyre probably only good for a back massage but Bandit1's got a sword, even if it is somewhat rusty, its still a sword.

CLASH! That was the sound of our swords colliding.... CRACK!..That was the sound of Bandit1's rusty sword breaking.... WHOOSH!............. and uhm.. that was the sound of my sword slipping through my hand and flying off to Narnia... I MAY have forgotten in the end i only got 4 points of STR... Well fuck....

Bandit1:"..."

Armada:"....."

Akatosh:"...."

Bandits2-5:"....."

Bandit1:" You... You're pretty weak arent you?"

Armada:" uhh about that see, I'm fucking 12 years old and you're a man in his 40s.. so it was to be expected to be honest...."

Bandit1:".... Then why didnt you consider that when you shouted all high and mighty just now?"

Armada:" That's probably the reason i got 2 points in INT... Or it might be because of it....."

Bandit1:".... BEAT HIM UP! Sword or no sword kids you're still gonna have to kneel before me"

Bandit1 started to punch and kick me while the other bandits kept swinging around wooden sticks....and somehow this high level 1v5 fight turned into fucking fist fight... I kept punching and kicking back using my nonexistent martial arts skills but due to my low strength i'm basically tickling them. On the other hand because of my high VIT all their hits are basically back-rubs and didnt cause any real pain.

This fiesta of a fight continued for 2 hours. Yep 2 fucking hours... no one managed to beat or kill the other they couldnt hurt me and i basically tickle them...

Bandit1 *Breathing Heavily* : "Kid! Consider yourself that something just came up that us brothers need to go and deal with!"

Armada *Breathing Heavily* :" Bullshit! You couldnt rob me because you couldnt hurt me! What bullshit something came up!"

Bandit1:"KID! You better never come back to these parts or else next time you wont live to tell the tale!"

After Bandit1 dropped the typical line out of every Xianxia he ran away a long with his brothers. Seeing everything finally over and now dead tired i went back into the carriage and started continuing my journey.. For my first Life and Death trial... this was uhm.. pretty unique.

DING DING~

Akatosh:" Host has successfully Courted Death. Rating: Mediocre. Exp has been docked due to Mediocre rating. Host has obtained 20 EXP. 80 EXP required for Host to reach QI condensation stage."

I somewhat wanted to argue with Akatosh about the Mediocre rating as it shouldve seen that level of fight coming but im honestly too damn tired. So i got the Horse to start pulling the Carriage and told Akatosh to wake me up if anything goes round and started dozing off. This Carriage costed me 20 gold and 10 of that 20 was solely cause of the horse. Apparently it can remember roads and navigate to Lingyi city by itself.