7 Chapter 6: Dead And Deader
Date: 03-13-2005
Location: Long Beach, CA
A man named John Cook, who's an adrenaline junkie had an addiction to being electrocuted for a fix of adrenaline, such as being zapped by a taser by his girlfriend, Tess. Then, one day, John Cook connects his welder to his ear piercings to apply a higher electrocution and a bigger adrenaline rush. He turns the voltage on the welder to the max when Tess refuses to do it, and the electricity disrupts his natural electrical rhythms, causing cardiac arrest (heart attack).
Way To Die #504: Shock Jock
Date: 05-01-1979
Location: Aberdeen, SD
A newly married man named Chuck buys a 1952 Royal Spartenette trailer home for he and his wife, Roxanne. He cleans every inch of his new home, but has trouble unclogging the home's toilet. Chuck attempts to unclog the toilet with bleach since other attempts to unclog it are unsuccessful.
"Chemical warfare was the only answer. Chuck poured a gallon of bleach down the trailer's poop chute, and waited. From the darkness below, came a response..."
The bleach reacts with the sewage, creating a cloud of chlorine gas, which suffocates him.
Way To Die #230: Sh*tty Death
Date: 12-31-2000
Location: Echo Park, Los Angeles, CA
Quame and his crew of revelers were celebrating the New Year with a nighttime barbecue. As they were counting down to the new year, Quame shot stray bullet from his pistol into the air on zero. Several miles away, Ronald and his girlfriend were exiting a New Year's Eve party. As Ronald was asking his girlfriend to go out with him, he gets a sharp sting on his shoulder, then blood comes out. A few seconds later, Ronald died. The stray bullet from Quame's pistol unfortunately came back down and hit Ronald in the shoulder. It went through his shoulder and pierced his heart, killing him.
"Imagine exiting a New Years Eve party with a hot date on your arm, and a night full of possibilities in front of you. Suddenly you feel a thud, followed by a sharp stinging pain in your chest. You fall down, and two minutes later, you're dead. That's what happened to our friend, Ronald."
Way To Die #171: New Year, New Death
Date: 09-19-1983
Location: Sparta, KY
Why is this man standing in his bathroom doorway, holding an enema bag? A simple question with a complicated answer. Mickey is a raging alcoholic with a twist. The recent throat operation had left him unable to drink. Clarissa, his long suffering wife, has been doing her best to keep him in line, but she's no match for a life long drunk going cold turkey. That bring us back to the enema bag.
Mickey needed help with his butt-bag cocktail. At first, Clarissa resisted, but he broke her down. She rounded up a bottle of sherry and dumped it into his enema bag. The bar was now open and it's happy hour.
Before he can get out of the bathroom, Mickey is completely hammered. Clarissa beds him down thinking he could sleep it off, but not this time. His blood alcohol level has shot up to .57 and he died from alcohol poisoning, since anything .40 and over is lethal.
Way To Die #385: in-toxin-cated
Date: 05-05-1993
Location: Glendale, CA
Coach Jacousky, a high school physical education teacher, teaches a group of tired, unenthusiastic students how to throw a javelin. After the students do a shoddy job of throwing, Coach Jacousky demonstrates in front of the students, making an impressive throw. Running to retrieve it, he turns his head around and yells "that's how you do it" to the students, only to turn his head back around...and impale his left eye through the javelin's exposed edge. The javelin is then driven into his brain. The students react in disgust when they run to the coach, with one of them taking pictures.
"If he wasn't such a blow-hard, he'd still be winning arm wrestling bets at the local sports bar. But Jacousky forgot the one lesson teachers have been screaming for all eternity: pay attention."
Way To Die #197: Spiked
Date: 02-27-2006
Location: Tonopah, NV
Sam was a 32 year old virgin with his testicles going code blue. To fix his situation, he goes to a red light district to get his rocks off. After passing by two rooms with promising women, a Pocahontas and a French maid, his choice was made for him by the dominatrix behind door number three. He is put in a latex outfit and the dominatrix does her stuff. However, Sam was unaware of a severe allergy he had to latex and to make it worse, the dominatrix mistook his muffled noises for having fun, as he dies from anaphylactic shock.
"Sam loves it. He's itching with excitement. Actually, he's itching for another reason. Sam never knew, but he has a severe allergy to latex!"
"Unable to escape, the gimp goes limp and dies."
Way To Die #319: Rubbered Out
Date: March 4, 1998
Location: Somewhere in Florida
Mordy has the perfect moment in his life. Spending time with his wife and his friends in a club after 40 years of hard work. So perfect that he wishes to one day die with a glass champagne in his hand, his friends and Wife around him and in his ears their favorite music. The wish came faster than he expected after he suffers a heart attack and dies on the spot.
Way To Die #93: Happy Endings
