6 chapter 5: City Of Death

Date: 07-02-1916

Location: The Western Front

Reinhardt is a greedy German deserter during World War I. After a battle, he would rummage through the bodies of dying or dead soldiers for valuables, even gold teeth, and if he saw any weak soldiers that were still alive, he would kill them with his gun.

One night, he stopped to rob a British soldier's dead body, inadvertently activating a jam tin grenade rigged on the corpse, which he was unaware of. Upon realizing that he picked up the booby trap, he curses and gives one last horrified scream, and is decapitated in the ensuing explosion, sending the greedy bastard to Hell where he belongs.

Way To Die #184: WW1 and Done

Date: 12-21-2005

Location: Madison, WI

A part-time female intern named Carol attends an office Christmas party, where she gets drunk off of spiked punch and performs a striptease on top of a desk for her male co-workers, much to the disgust of her female co-workers.

Carol makes her way to the company's boss, Tim, and attempts to seduce him by giving him pictures of her butt in order to get hired full-time. Carol heads into the copy machine where she sits on top of the glass.

The glass on the copy machine breaks, and she is fatally electrocuted from the exposed wires, which sent a deadly current to her heart and caused ventricular fibrillation, killing her in seconds.

Way To Die #349: X-Mess Carol

Date: 04-20-2007

Location: Santa Cruz, CA

Dr. Siraki is a sleazy sports doctor who, along with his patients, frequently use testosterone-boosting steroids. He also hates cyclists, and if he sees cyclists ride past him, he will start yelling at them even with no good reason that he loses focus on other things.

One day, on a dirt trail, he is forced to slow down for two cyclists. He gets impatient and repeatedly honks the horn and yells at them, until he runs them off of the road out of spite.

Siraki is so distracted in his rage and arrogance along with his wife yelling at him, that he fails to notice a flatbed truck carrying rods of rebar in front of his S.U.V. By the time Siraki sees the truck up ahead, even he knows it's way too late; before he could apply the brakes, he rear-ends the truck, causing a rod to go right through the windshield and impale his skull, tearing out his brain stem, shutting down his heart and lungs; this resulting in his death, sending the annoyingly sleazy and selfish sports doctor to Hell and his panicked, now-widowed wife running away as she screamed in horror.

Way To Die #248: F.U.v'd

Date: 10-26-2015

Location: Shepherdsville, KY

Elmer is a funny looking redneck who is trying to harvest pig sperm to sell on the black market. Elmer spots Brandon, a blue-ribbon prized pig whose sperm is like juicy gold. When the pig's squeals wake up the farmer, he hides behind a tree. The farmer comes out with a shotgun. After a few seconds of looking, the farmer goes back inside. When Elmer goes back to trying to collect more sperm, he trips over the bucket and accidentally hits his head on a metal fence, knocking himself out. Brandon the Pig then decides to finish some business and starts to eat out the man's intestines. By the time Elmer awakens, it's too late. He dies from his intestines and colon being ripped out by the pig's jaws. Brandon munches out the poor man's corpse all night long. That'll do pig, That'll do.

Way To Die #351: Pulled Pork

Date: 07-16-2016

Location: Springfield, MA

Sergio is a failed magician who hopes he can find the one magic trick to make him go big. One night, he is robbed by two drug addicts named Rocky and Dashawn, who tie him up to a chair and gag him. They find money along with a vial of what appears to be cocaine. The two robbers snort it up their noses, but soon collapse to the floor foaming from the mouth. Unbeknownst to the two robbers, these jokers snorted up G4, AKA slush powder, a substance commonly used in magic tricks to solidify water. The slush powder absorbed water in their nose and expanded to their trachea, suffocating them and sending them to hell. As the drug addicts lay dead, Sergio started freeing himself. 

Way To Die #336: Abracadaver

Date: 10-07-2010

Location: Montclair, NJ

A rather arrogant African American woman named Chantal deliberately cuts in line during a talent search for the next big pop music star in the musical reality show called American Idol.

All of a sudden, a freak windstorm blows her umbrella out of her hands and sends it crashing down, wedging into her spinal cord like a spear and causing her to die from neurogenic shock.

Way To Die #897: American Died'ol

Date: 03-15-2009

Location: Lamy, NM

Palmer Muncie is a greedy, perverted con-man impersonating a state health inspector as part of a statewide scam. He goes to local hotels and motels on inspection days, and defrauds them with this tactic; He tells the gullible hotel owner that he works alone, before going into a room and masturbates in it to taint the area with his semen. Then, he shows the stains under a blacklight, threatening to shut their hotel down to extort money from them.

At one local motel, Palmer manages to swindle the employees and get a free night. That night, he goes to sleep with his blacklight still glowing.

Unfortunately for Palmer, however, it would soon be clear that the motel he scammed would've benefitted from a real health inspection. Little did he know, the room he managed to weasel his way into was infested with Arizona bark scorpions (which glow under a blacklight). The scorpions crawled onto Palmer's bed before stinging him. The venom immediately began shutting down his autonomic nervous system, killing him within seconds, sending the disgustingly perverted scam-artist straight to Hell.

Needless to say, Palmer was the first and only victim to be shut down by the very stains he made, thus, saving the hotel from having their money extorted. However, they would still have to deal with the scorpion infestation.

Way To Die #250: Master-Bitten

avataravatar
Next chapter