3 chapter 2: Hard Lives, Easy Deaths

Date: 05-14-2007

Location: Meat Packing District, New Mexico

A man named Billy DeMayo (aka Philly Billy), who works for the Mob, has been locked inside a meat freezer at the mob's butcher shop. Some say that meat lockers like these can be slammed shut to prank any butcher like Philly Billy. But when he was locked inside it was no prank. Billy's body temperature starts out at 98.6 but once the the door slammed , it started decreasing. With nobody able to hear him he dies of hypothermia. Right before he dies, he thinks about why he's been locked in, which was for stealing some cuts of meat from work and getting his boss's 17-year-old granddaughter pregnant.

There's an old Italian proverb, which says 'Revenge is a dish best served cold.' Rest in Peace, South Philly Billy."

Way to Die #293: Freeze Died

Date: 08-23-2010

Location: Carbo San Lucas

Richard Paxon and his two pals had been exploring the reefs by Cabo San Lucas for the last three days. They decided to squeeze in one last dive before heading home. After an hour at 45 feet, the divers made their way back to the surface, making sure to come up slowly enough to safely release nitrogen gas stored up in their bloodstreams. After spending hours in the decompression chambers in Catalina Island, Richard was eager to get home. So they got in an aircraft. Unfortunately, he forgot one of the cardinal rules of diving: Never dive and fly the same day. As soon as the unpressurized plane climbed out and reached its cruising altitude of 12,000 feet, Richard and his friends began to feel the first symptoms of decompression sickness (commonly known as "the bends"). With Richard at the controls of the plane, but losing control of his mind and body, it was the all-time worst case scenario. The three men, incapacitated by the bends, could only watch in horror as their plane augured straight into a mountainside, and crashed, killing Richard and his pals.

Way to die #713: Dive Bombed

Date: 09-22-2007

Location: Graveyard, Haiti 🇭🇹

Two brothers are fighting over a land dispute. When one of the brothers pushes the other to the ground, the brother on the ground (James) is infuriated and plans revenge. He seeks out a witch doctor and asks him to poison his brother with "tetrodotoxin". Two days later, James is believed to be dead. But, he is actually paralyzed in a zombie-like state, and he cannot move or talk. James is buried alive. Some time later, two grave robbers dig out his coffin, but when they see his corpse, they flee in shock. Turns out, James tried to claw his way out, wearing his fingers down to the bone, before succumbing to suffocation.

Way to Die #91: De-coffinated

Date: 08-21-2007

Location: Hale Marina, ND

Dalph Smith was a German Librarian and he wanted to look at fish and swim with them. So Dalph took an old waterbed, cut it up, glued it with Latex, and called it the Merman. Meanwhile, Dalph put his suit on and headed down to the water. But it was slow going and started to overheat. When body temperature rises, sweat begins to form in these glands. As sweat evaporates, heat is dissipated. If the temperature outside was cool, that could've saved him. Unfortunately for Dalph, it was a scorching 97 Degrees. He began feeling the first symptoms of hyperthermia. He got to the lake less than 15 minutes. His temperature red-lined at 109 or 108 degrees. Right before he died, Dalph finally got his wish. He knew exactly what it felt to be a fish out of water, and he died of heatstroke.

Way To Die #606: Wet Dream

Date: 70 A D

Location: ???

One method of execution is that the victim had to wear a fur coat, be tied around a tree and then get eaten alive by whatever comes his/her way (in this case a flock of vultures.)

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