6 Self-worth

"How was the masquerade party, everyone? Did you guys had fun?" Manager Jeong led the 1st meeting of the month that happens every Wednesday and gathered us in the meeting room. The company comprises different teams: the marketing team, writing team, design team, and editing team. Every team has a representative for the meeting to brief the editing team. Good thing that I was able to arrive on time, and I was not late. My eyes darted to Mr. Seungwoo, who has been the representative for the design team. Kim Seungwoo happened to be the CEO of this publishing company's parent company, but he is CURRENTLY an undercover graphic designer/photographer. I stared at him as if trying to get something out of him.

"Yes, of course!" We answered in unison.

"Now, now! The fun is all done, though I am sure every one of us woke up not wanting to go to the company and work, and I am here to remind you that we'll be focusing on our work now, okay?" Manager Jeong clapped his hands, "So the first novel is finished already, and it needs some proofreading," Manager Jeong put both of his palms on the table. "Editing Team, who wants to be the copywriter or editor for this?"

Silence filled in. Everyone was not even making eye contact with the manager. I guess no one wants to volunteer since they were still in party mode from yesterday's masquerade event?

"How about you, Team Leader Bae Yunqiong?" Manager Jeong finally broke the silence. "You should set an example and lead the editing team, right?"

Team Leader Bae just grimaced, "No, manager-nim. You know that I am busy leading the team giving the newbies the guide that they need to settle with the company. How about we assign this to the newbies instead?"

"Hmm," Manager Jeong turned to look at his left, where I and the newly hired chicks of the editing team are sitting. There are only two of us, Lim Hyunwoo and me. "How about you, Mr. Lim?"

But before I sighed in relief, Team Leader Bae cut in the conversation and said, "How about Miss Li do it?"

I just felt like I got stomped on, and I'm going to be busy with the PowerPoint presentation that they needed me to work on since the marketing team asked for my help.

"Okay, sir." I just smiled my worries away. "I'll be happy to do that."

"Now then," Manager Jeong then turned at Mr. Kim, who was staring at me as if I am some worm. "In your team, who will be the designer for that book?"

Seungwoo then turned to look at the manager who was speaking to him, "I guess that it would be better to be me."

Team Leader Bae then chimed in, "Why? I'm sure that you're busy as it is? You don't need to volunteer yourself out of this?"

"No, it's okay. The editor is a newbie, so if I assign the designing to a newbie too, then I am not quite sure of how everything will turn out," Seungwoo answered.

"Okay," Manager Jeong declared. "Mr. Kim Seungwoo and Miss Li Suji teamed up for this novel. The others are not going to be free, and you have to wait for more work to be assigned to you, okay?!"

"Yes," We responded in unison.

The meeting ended with me having burdens on my end. I just sighed.

"Aren't you going?" Mr. Lim tapped my shoulders, "Almost all are leaving already,"

"I'm going to stay for a bit," I just gave a small smile.

I followed Mr. Lim's back until he closed the door. I looked around, and I found out I was the only one left. I banged my forehead onto the table to let out my frustration. "Talk about being so unlucky! Urghhh,"

I stopped banging my forehead to the table when the door flew open. I arranged my kind of messy hair and composed myself, and then I realized that the person who entered the room was Kim Seungwoo.

"Now, you are regretting your life choices?" he asked. "Are you a pushover?"

I got worked up when he mentioned the word 'pushover.' "No, I am not! And why are you speaking informally?"

"We agreed to speak informally and treat each other as friends when we are alone, remember? Then," he crossed his arms and calmly responded. "Why did you accept to be the editor for this project? You know it's too hard for a newbie like you."

"But," I pouted. "What can I do?"

"You do know that you, for some reason, have been blacklisted by your team leader, so why would you accept those kinds of jobs and make yourself seem like a pushover?" He gave me the same look that he gave earlier, observing me as if I am some wriggling worm. "As someone who has been in this industry for four years and whether it's here in Korea or America, or any country, it will still be the same. Once you do someone a favor, they end up going to you when they have a favorite, the more you do someone a favor, the more they keep asking you for a favor, and then it's a cycle." He went on, "You should always prioritize yourself above anything else. If you let people order you around, then where is your self worth going to be?"

"Why do you care?" I retaliated. "I have to stay in the company and survive! What else can I do if I don't follow my higher-ups?" I stood up and yelled, "What is it to you? Yes, I am a pushover! Are you happy now?"

"Why do I care?" he asked, "I will say it, again, but I didn't mean it as a criticism for you. I just wanted you to take care of yourself more, do you get my point?"

"Now, you are saying that?" I gave him the eye and glared at him. "As if, I will believe that. Why won't you tell me why you care if I am a pushover or not?"

"It's because," he paused and gave me a worried gaze. "You stood out, whether it was here in the company or at the masquerade party. I want you to take care of yourself more, that's it." His voice turned mellow, "Think about it next time, okay? Don't make me worry like that."