10 Family Jewels

Archer woke up in his newly assigned room feeling the headache from yesterday as he recalled the events. First starting with the stupid song they had to sing after dinner ended.

(Caw-caw, caw-caw!)

(Purr-purr!)

We stand as one united,

Against the Puritan.

We draw our inspiration

From good witch Morrigan.

For she was persecuted

By common wandless men.

So she fled from distant Ireland,

And so our school began.

Oh! Ilvermorny-Massachusetts!

We choo-choose it!

We choo-choose it!

The wizard school supreme.

Your castle walls, they kept us safe.

The days with you, a dream

You taught us all our magic

And now one thing's quite clear

Where'er we roam

Where'er we roam

Our one true home

Our one and own

Is Ilvermorny dear!

Then, if that wasn't enough after they were assigned to their rooms Archer was relieved at first when he found out he only had one room-mate but to his dismay, it was none other than the arrogant prick they had met earlier, Jamie.

At first, they argued about changing rooms, which quickly turned into insulting each others family and quickly formulated to a duel challenge but when Archer nearly defeated him in it, the other party used an underhand method by rushing towards him and punching him.

Archer could handle someone his size fairly in a fight but when it came to someone 3 years older than him, it wasn't so easy as Jamie completely overwhelm him punching him a couple of times. Luckily all those time adventuring in dangerous places had its effects, as he barely managed to push him off. He quickly picked his wand and threw Jamie across the room but for some bloody reason, it wasn't enough to stop that prick as they kept fighting on and on.

One would throw a punch while the other would use magic to throw a vase at him. Then the other would kick one across the room while the other would throw a whole suitcase at him. The fight stopped for a while as everyone in their dorm couldn't really sleep due to all the noises. Owen who had the spare key of the room quickly opened it to see Archer with a black eye and bloody lips, crushing Jamie who had a scarred face and broken nose with a whole wardrobe.

Just when everyone was shocked and thought they would stop, Jamie pushed the wardrobe away with sheer strength with the help of an enchanted glove on one of his hand, he managed to grab through the wardrobe pushing Archer away as he grunted.

The other person laughed as he came leaping towards Archer throwing a punch at him with the enchanted glove on. Archer barely managed to dodge as the punch the cracked the wall behind him. Not thinking much, Archer threw a decent punch aimed directly at Jamie's family jewel causing him to let out a cry. At the time, Alice and Owen stepped in and pulled both of them away for one another.

"I'll kill you." Jamie roared as he was trying to jump at Archer again as Owen held him back tightly.

"You can kill me but I surely killed whoever your future child is you banshee sounding prick." Archer laughed wanting to throw another spell but Alice pulled his hand, again and again, wondering how can the guy still throw jokes around at this time.

"You don't know who my father is."

"And you don't know who my mother is."

"I'll end you. You hear I'll make your life a living hell."

"At least stop sounding like a 9-year-old girl first before you throw threats around."

"What is going on here?"

At the heat of the moment, both of them didn't know who asked the question as they throw another insult again at the same time, "Shut the fuck up, you bitch!"

Just as the words left their mouth both of them realized that it wasn't any of the two who asked. The whole place went deadly silent and both Owen and Alice let go of the two acting as if they weren't around. Archer could swear he heard Alice and Owen whistling.

Jamie and Archer gulped as they saw Professor Canessa whose hair turned to pink from a bright red in an instant, though she had a smile on her face her eyes told a different story. Selena who was there for some reason looked at the two of them in pity.

"So who's going to explain to me... what the hell is going on here?"

―==(oIo)==―

After explaining things from both perspectives, luckily Professor Canessa understood. Since she herself wasn't too old she knew how things could be elevated so after a warning and detention for a week she let them go. After knowing both of them weren't too seriously injured as the prick had enchanted robes and clothes on him both of them were truly let go.

Owen quickly changed their room, leaving Archer in a different one where he could finally be alone.

"What were you thinking?" Back after the situation ended, Alice asked in an interrogating manner as Selena was helping him with his wounds.

"As we said to the Professor, one thing led to another and we took it too far." Archer said, "He talked about me, then about you which already pissed me off but then he had to go and talk about my mom. He's lucky I knew when to stop."

"You're lucky Professor Canessa was the one who caught you two." Alice said retorting what Archer said, "Otherwise, you two would be the first people in decades to be expelled from Ilvermorny and you Archer would be the first one ever to be kicked out on the very first day of the school."

"Well at least, I'll go out making a record," Archer said to Alice's displeasure as she was about to scold him some more but luckily Selena stopped her.

"Alice, let's talk about this tomorrow," Selena said wiping the cut on Archer's lip with a potion she had with her, "Look at how he is, right now."

"He deserves it." Alice snorted, "But I can't believe that guy had enchanted robes on."

"Yeah, thank Merlin I managed to at least hit him in his face a couple of times otherwise I would be left with a really bitter feeling." Archer said, "If I knew about this I would've enchanted all my clothes, it's not like he's the only one with the enchanted clothes. I even have better ones."

"You would've killed him or at least seriously injured him if he hadn't worn it." Alice said snorting, "And what's with the spells you were using throwing furniture at him."

"Hey if there's something I learned from my last fight is that simple spells work the best." Archer said, "Why bother wasting time with the scary dangerous spells when you could just throw around levitating charm on people with anything nearby."

Unlike Alice's twisted face, Selena looked worried, "Your last fight? What does that mean?"

"Nothing much really." Archer switched the topic not wanting to see that puppy eyes anymore, "So what's with all these potions? You always carry them around or something?"

"I told you I was good at healing, didn't I?" Selena said, "So I always carry some potions with me since I used to be a bit clumsy when I was young."

"Is that why you were talking to Professor Canessa?" Alice asked, "Sorry I didn't mean to eavesdrop."

"It's okay." Selena shook her head, "Yeah, I was discussing with her on whether I could change my house or not. I feel I will fit in better with Pukwudgie than Wampus. I mean I am not brave at all."

"Being brave isn't hard." Archer said looking a bit lost as he remembered things from his previous life a bit as he shook his head, "Standing up for something you believe in is. Remember Selena, Braveness is vague. For example, what happened today with me and Jamie, Both of us will be considered brave. Jamie by his friends and me by mi..."

He looked at Alice and Selena as he coughed knowing both of them considered him to be stupid to some degree for fighting, "Anyway as I was saying, Braveness isn't special as long as are willing to stick by with what you think is right. And besides, I think Wampus suits you. From the short time I have known you, I know you're a really good friend and I know you're the type that sticks through thick and thin so just be proud of it. I am sure John will say the same thing too."

While Archer was busy giving his speech of the century, he didn't manage to catch the huge blush on Selena's face as she quickly hid it.

"Well, Professor said I can't change it so I am stuck with it whether I like it or so I guess I'll just learn to fit in," Selena said shyly wanting Archer to stop with the compliments.

Archer nodded happily as he figured how all those motivational speakers must feel.

"I do wonder one thing though?" Archer said making both Selena and Alice curious.

"What?"

"Do you think Jamie's pants were enchanted?"

―==(oIo)==―

*Achoo!"

Back in his room, Jamie sneezed as his goon kept using a cooling spell around his no-no zone.

"Do it slowly, I am already catching a cold here." Jamie complained while his goon looked confused not knowing what he should do.

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Please don't ask me why the MC couldn't beat up a fourth-year student by himself because the answer is simple, it ain't that kind of novel bruh!

It's weak to strong for anyone who wants an OP mc sorry to disappoint but don't worry he will get strong but not so quickly.

Also, it was my first shot at comedy as I wanted to create a laid back MC so I'll continue on this path in the future, so a bit of review would be appreciated.

And don't forget to vote, let's aim for Top 100.

Bonus chapter: 2/3