2 Chapter ២

-II-

"So.. today's the day I'm going to die huh?"

I get off my bed and groan as I stretch.

"Well its useless even if someone like me lives anyway."

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When I was little, I learnt that my family was far from normal. No one ever smiled, no one ever cared, no one ever loved. There was just a petty women in the family who was desperate for love.

Until one day, a couple months after my "mother's" death, that man...the one who's called my father fell in love.

I never thought that the stone hearted father could ever feel anything let alone fall in love? It sounded like a joke to me but....it wasn't.

He fell in love with his secretary. He got her pregnant and rushed to marriage. I actually saw him smiling, I saw the man who never showed any emotion... smiling?

It was something I didn't see coming. I concluded it as something that had nothing to do with me and therefore I wasn't able to see it in my.. 'visions'.

But I...for some reason I felt really horrible. My heart ached, I didn't know why at the time.

It was on the day of my 7th birthday that my stepmother's water broke. I didn't particularly feel anyway about it. Its not like we ever celebrated my birthday. I've never got anything on my birthday. All I ever get on my birthday is a flower. Who gives me these flowers? Well..a cat.

I've always been good with animals. They're one of the only things that can help me forget awful feelings. I helped a cat while coming back from my piano lessons. I've helped a lot of animals but this one got particularly attached to me. It followed me every where so I decided to keep it. Its not like anyone in my..home cared so it wasn't a problem. I named him Luminae, I call him Lu for short. He's a really intelligent cat. He's probably the only thing precious to me.

Where is this cat now? You might wonder. Well...it kinda...left. I have no idea where it went. It was just not with me one day. The only thing that I ever cared about was gone. I cried a lot at the time. It was probably the last time I ever cried. My tears have since dried.

Leaving all that aside, I somehow had a sister now. But its not like I was told to be a good sister, I was just discarded..as always. Now, my stepmother wasn't mean to me and I wasn't treated Cinderella. I mean how would she be able to that when...when she never even acknowledged that I existed. I was simply a ghost to her, nothing more nothing less.

Its not like I was useless though. I was known as a prodigy among prodigies. I was known to be perfect at everything I do. I've won every competition I've ever participated in whether it was singing, piano, poetry, art, sports,etc. I was on top of everyone in everything. But I was still never acknowledged by my family.

Instead I was used as a tool to spread the name of my family and the company.

And my sister? She was born an idiot. Most people called her an airhead. People seem to like that kind of personality as they liked.. preferred her over me.

I dislike talking bad things about people but she's just...a complete idiot. But even though there was not a thing she could possibly do better than me, father and stepmother always gave all of their free time to her. I honestly couldn't understand why? WHY was everyone so attracted to her?

The only time I got attention from my family was on social gatherings. It was just for projecting an image of family. But you could just see it in my father's eyes when he talked about his second daughter. His deep ocean eyes used to sparkle every time he thought of her. He used to praise every thing she ever did even though it was completely stupid.

I used to feel so uncomfortable and insecure about it before but since I'm actually quite good at acting, I never let my expressions slip. Even though I felt the way I did, I never let my mask fall off. Even after all the things I've done..they still.. I'm still not....

Nevermind...none of that matters now, not like it ever did.

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"I'm being sentimental, how weird. That's not like me, not like me at all. I wonder if it's because I'm going to die today?"

Well I'm already a lifeless puppet, I would probably feel better if I die. I'd finally be in peace. Ahh.. doesn't that sound nice.

I get out of the shower and stare at my reflection, a weak smile crawls across my face.

"My stomach feels funny, I wonder if I'm hungry? I should go have breakfast."

"But first I have something I need to do."

I sit in front of my desk and open the drawer. There, a plain black diary lays. I open it and start writing.

- entry no 30 -