1 Chapter ១

- I -

I've always been able to see visions. I was a person who knew about the world before I ever even came into it. ha...ha.....I know right, creepy..

I knew I was going to be born. I knew how I was going to be born. I knew where I was going to be born. And I knew what I was going to be born as. All before I was even out of that woman's womb. I always knew what was going to happen but...well... I didn't know I was supposed to avoid it. Its one of those times where you have too much information and don't know what to do with it. I mean what would you expect a baby thats not even a day old to do when given so much information? But..I soon came to understand what it meant.

I have recollection of every single thing since the day I was born. Not even a single part of my memory is missing. But do you know how scary that can be? How can a human being possibly not forget anything that has ever happened to him ever since the day he was born? And its not even just memories that I don't forget, I cant even forget sensations or sounds or...anything for that matter. Some people might think that its something amazing but to me its nothing but a curse. I mean even if somehow remembering everything that has ever happened to you was a good thing then what about even remembering things that hasn't even happened yet, thats supposed to happen in the future? *sigh* But then again, its not like I can imagine not living like this...it truly is troublesome.

With the information I was fed, I grasped things pretty easily but...I also realized that I should not be able to understand the things I did. I used to see them as dreams when I was a baby but as I grew up I ended up seeing things almost every time I closed my eyes. *sigh* When I was a baby, I wasn't able to cry. I didn't understand why I should? Even though I was given information that I shouldn't have got, at the time all the information I received was about things that were going to happen to me...things about the future of my life.

Nothing was telling me babies were supposed to cry. At that time I didn't even know what crying was...therefore, I couldn't comprehend. It didn't take long before I was deemed as a monster, a demon's child. I was casted out by everyone and I...wasn't even a month old. They even casted that woman out telling her how could she give birth to a child like me? At that time, I really pitied her. She, of course wouldn't be able to control the nature of her offspring...but me being that woman's child does feel disgusting. I will never allow her to be called my mother nor will I call her one. She doesn't deserve to be called a mother. Then again, who am I to judge? She was pitiful..a really pitiful woman who got discarded by the one man she was ever able love and hold dear. She lost her will to love after that and that's probably why I was treated the way I was.

My father was the CEO of very large company in Japan. I don't even know if he's my real father but I guess we are since we're so similar. In many ways. I'm just guessing but he too probably has something he never wanted and cant get rid of either. I cant really call him my father either. I've only met him four times in my whole 18 years of life. Pathetic, I know. He doesn't want to see me though, not like I wish to see that face full of hatred and scorn again either. All in all, as life went by, that woman started lashing out at me even more. Her 'punishments' for me got stronger, though I say that I really don't know what I did wrong. Finally when I was 6 years old, she died, died out of her dire need for love. She was desperate to be embraced by her beloved one more time. But all while knowing that, he didn't even show up at her funeral. I, as well, only attended because I was told I had to do so. It was probably all just for publicity though. When that woman died, I didn't feel anything. No anger, no sadness, no relief and no pain. I didn't feel a single thing. I already knew it was going to happen anyways.

________________________________________________________