4 Is this Freedom or is it More Suffering?

19 june, Saturday

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It was saturday, my new friend Koichimaru invited me to go to the movies with our group.

I took a quick shower,dressed up and brushed my teeth.

It was 12:38 pm, I wasn't really hungry so i didn't make anything to eat.

"I hope i don't get another nosebleed".

I got a call, it was from the hospital, i answered. "Good morning is this fumi-akitake" a girl asked, "umm yea its me", i answered. She told me that i had to go to the hospital at 3:00 pm for some medications,"alright i'll be there",i said. I ended the call and i went to do the laundry, a while later i got a call from Koichi. He said he was on his way to my apartment, 15 minutes later Koichi arrived, i locked the door and i went in his car.

A while later we arrived at a mall, we walked to a coffee shop nearby where the group was. Ashlee a girl in my group kept talking to koichi, she looked really inlove with Koichi, she's a really nice girl no doubts,they could be a prefect couple. We walked around,bought some ice cream and then we went to the cinema. It was 1:36 pm wich meant i had 1 hour and 30 minutes left. While we were watching the movie koichi hold my hand, i started blushing a little but i just ignored it. When the movie was over i asked him: "umm koichi why did you hold my hand in there", he responded with: "you looked kind of upset when we we're in there", things started to pop in my mind again like:"why does he care so much for me","i have nothing to give", and it was true i was a no one.

Why did he care so much about me being sad?

It was 2:45pm i had to get to the hospital at 3:00pm. The hospital wasn't really far from the mall so i wanted to walk there wich Koichi didn't let me, he told me he was going to take me wich i agreed, we arrived at the hospital, i told Koichi to wait for me in the car.

When i entered i asked the nurse where i should head too, the doctor touched my back and said :"follow me", we went into a room wich we we're alone. The doctor looked like he didnt wanna tell me anything. I asked: "what's going on?", the doctor responded and said: "the day you fainted we took a look of you're body and..."you have been diagnosed with cancer".

i was surprised but i was ok with it, i tought if i died i could finally be free and stop suffering, stop being a bother to everyone. I asked the doctor how much time i had to live. He said i had 1-2 years more to live.

The doctor gave me some medications and told me to drink them after every meal i had.

When i got out of the hospital Koichi was waiting for me in his car. I got in and he asked me: "so how did it go?". I told him i was fine and that i just got a little sick.

I didn't want anyone to find out about my disease so i just hid it from everyone. "Mayu, Agate and Koichi will be really worried and sad if i tell them" , "i just wanna live the best of life"

"I dont wanna see anyone suffer because of me"

"I wanna live my life untill the very end", "even if that means hiding this disease from everyone"

"Agate, Mayu...."

"You're my family"