Chapter 6

I had just started pacing back and forth and mumbling to myself about how to start a rebellion when Zev walked in.

"Hey Lilun you can go now." He said. "Why where you pacing back and forth?"

I walked past him. "None of your business." I didn't want to deal with Zev anymore today, or ever again. I just wanted to go home.

"What did you mean by 'this is gonna take a lot of work?"

I hesitated at the stair case. "Nothing." 'Nosy asshole' I thought as I trotted down the stairs. Before I could reach the classroom Zev grabbed my wrist.

"What are you planning?"

"Let me go." I snapped.

"What are you planning." He repeated with more force.

"I plan on rebelling against Lucifer." I spat back as I yanked my wrist free.

"Just you?"

"No. Me, Elyk, Blaise, and Damien."

"That's still a suicide mission. Lucifer is strong enough to take a god down. What makes you think you and your friends can beat him?"

I was about ready to punch Zev. He was starting to really piss me off. "Because I have faith in my friends." Without another word I stalked to the classroom and grabbed my bag and the book I forgot.

"Goodbye Lilun." Zev called out as I left. I could hear the hurt in his voice, it felt good knowing that I hurt him. I smirked before slamming the door in his face.

**That night

"Goodnight Mom! Goodnight Rodrick!" I yelled into the hallway before closing the door. Their muffled replies barely made it to my ears. "God ten chapters in one night. My head is killing me." I collapsed on my bed clutching my head. The book Funo gave me only had eleven chapters but each chapter was one hundred pages long so my head was killing me. I let out a sigh as I stared at my ceiling. "Just you wait Zev. Soon me and the others will be strong enough to take on Lucifer." I got up and turned off the lights then crawled back into bed. "Just you wait." I mumbled before falling asleep on top of my covers.

The next morning it was raining, hard. Thunder rumbled in the far distance and lightning lit up my room. But I barely paid attention to any of it. All I paid attention to where the voices that swarmed my head. The dark and horrid voices that haunted me when I was a child because of my mom's now three years ex-boyfriend. I slowly got out of bed as the familiar numbness overtook my body and my heart beat faintly in my chest. Lightning lit up my room once again as I walked to the bathroom to go about my daily routine in the dark. I didn't want to see the darkness in my eyes reflected in the mirror. I padded softly back to my room cold and dripping wet. I gently dried off before pulling on clean undergarments and a very baggy black shirt and pants. When I was a kid I use to hide in baggy clothes when I was depressed, that went on for seven years. Now whenever it rains, regardless if it's hard or not, I'll get depressed like before and wear baggy clothes. As I started brushing my hair the dark thoughts became louder.

'Kill them. All of them. I just want to be alone.'

'If I'm alone then I can never be hurt.'

'Let the blood rain from the sky. Let my lonely heart rejoice.'

'No more pain when I am alone.'

"Alone." The word danced on my tongue and tasted as sweet as honey. I put the brush down and pulled my socks and shoes on. I left my hair down.

'Come into the darkness Lilun. You'll be completely alone here. Come' Nulil spoke so softly and sweetly that I felt myself slip into the darkness.

*Darkness level 1. Mild*

"Completely alone." I watched the rain splatter on my window before I left my room.

I walked into the kitchen where my mom was making pancakes.

"Good morning Lilun. I made chocolate chip pancakes, your favorite."

"Thank you." My voice was cold and dark. I took a seat at the table and not to long after that my mom set a plate with two large pancakes and a glass of milk in front of me.

"Enjoy." She smiled but it was fake. Ever since that day my mother and brother have been cautious around me. Ever since...

"Thank you." I said again before eating. Even when I get down like this I'm still a fast eater so I was done with my food and milk before my mom was done cleaning.

"I'll take care of the table you go and take Elyk to school."

I nodded my head and put on a rain jacket before slinging on my bag and leaving.

Excuses to give to Elyk ran through my head but no matter how many I came up with I already knew he would know why I was dressed like this. Elyk and I became friends in the fifth grade, but we've been in school together since the second grade. Even when we became friends I was still curled in the darkness. When the horrid event happened instead of pulling away Elyk and his family pulled me closer, unlike my own.

'Strange.' I thought as I snuggled deeper into my security blankets. I could only hope that seeing Elyk would make me feel better, if only a little bit. As I rounded the corner that led to Elyk's house I saw him standing outside, he and Kairu shivering under his jacket.

"Why are you outside?" I called out.

Without a word Elyk ran to me and pulled me into a hug. I could feel my body warming up but the darkness was still there.

"I love you please don't go." He whispered.

"What are you talking about." I mumbled.

He grabbed my hand and without a word we ran to school, our shoes splashing in the puddles.

Once we reached the school Elyk pulled me into another hug, he was shivering frantically as was Kairu.

"Don't go stay here just for today. Please don't leave me." He was near to tears. Kairu whimpered and licked my cheek, his nose was freezing.

"I have to go Elyk." My voice sounded far off again. "I love you." Saying those words sent a wave of warmth through me but it wasn't enough. I kissed him and pulled him off. Before he could reattach himself I ran off. I felt a crushing pain in my chest as I ran from Elyk and towards the portal.

**Classroom

Like yesterday Funo was gone. This time he left a note telling me to finish the book I had and to read the Control Magic 101 book he left on my desk.

"Lazy fucker." I spat as I sat down. On days like this just about everyone was my enemy. With a silent huff I opened the first book Funo gave me and started reading chapter 11.

"Hey Lilun. Crazy rain today." Zev was practically breathing down my neck.

"You're invading my personal space." I spoke calmly but my words where dripping with venom.

"Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed." He chuckled as he stepped back.

"Fuck off." I spat at him before throwing Control Magic 101 at his face. He easily dodged it.

"What's got you all pissed off?" He asked with general concern.

"You." I glared before going back to my book.

"I'm sorry for whatever I did to piss you off." The sincerity in his voice pissed me off even more.

"Just leave me the fuck alone Zev." I yelled at him.

"Calm down." When he approached me I slammed my fist on the book.

"I just want to be alone, completely alone. Why won't you all just leave me alone!!" I sprang from my desk and ran out the door and into the rain.

"Lilun!! Come back!!" I ignored Zev and kept running.

*Darkness Level 2. Warning*

"What's wrong Lilun?" The headmaster asked as I burst into his office way ahead of schedule. I ignored him too and ran outside. First period had just ended so the hallways where crowded but I didn't care I could just shove people out of my way. As I was shoving people aside I had the misfortune of shoving Elyk who grabbed my wrist.

"Lilun what's wrong? You're crying and shivering." The concern in his voice as well as the love pissed me off even more.

"Let me go!!" I screamed as I yanked my wrist free.

"Lilun…"

"Why?! Why do you love me? You know what I did to Jak three years ago yet you still love me. Why. WHY!!" Tears fell heavily from my eyes.

"Lilun I…" Before he could say anymore I sprinted off. I could hear him chasing me with Kairu in tow but I didn't care not anymore. I just wanted to be left alone. Freaks like me didn't deserve anyone.

*Approaching Level 3. Warning. Warning.*

I ran all the way to the deserted playground where I fell to my knees in the filthy mud. I screamed as more tears fell from my eyes. I screamed until my throat was raw and I couldn't scream anymore. Memories of that night three years ago flooded my mind as I wrapped my arms around myself and continued to cry.

**Flashback to age 14. Time: 9:00 p.m. Lilun's room

I was laying in my bed dressed in floral print pajamas. A thunderstorm was raging outside and I was singing a made up song that went along with the rhythm of the rain falling on my window. My fingers stroked the bruises and cuts on my arm that Jak had inflicted. No one knew but me, not even my mom or brother. Just before my song ended Jak kicked my door in, he reeked of cheap spirits.

"Hey Lilun. Pretty Lilun. I've decided…" He stumbled towards my bed hiccupping, "to apologize for alllll those *hic* wounds I've given you."

I sprang out of my bed before he got to close.

"Go away." I hissed as I backed away from him. His senses might have been dulled by the alcohol but his speed magic was still working so before I could move anywhere else he had me pinned to a wall.

"Hey pretty pretty Lilun." He breathed his foul breath in my face.

"Get off of me." I demanded. His breath made me gag. Before he could do anything else my knee connected with his groins. He gasped before falling to his knees. Without thinking I jumped over him and landed on my bed but I wasn't fast enough because before I could touch the ground he grabbed my ankle causing me to fall off the bed. The front of my body felt like it was on fire and broken.

"Clumsy clumsy Lilun. Falling off of things is bad for you." His tsked as he walked around my bed. Trying to ignore the pain I slowly rose to my feet and tried to jump up and over the bed. I didn't get to far before he pinned me onto my bed. "You shouldn't hide all you beautifulness behind baggy clothes. You look so much like you mother." His meaty, sweaty hands caressed my face. Bile rose up my throat.

'Need to get him off.' Reaching my hand to my desk I picked up the pencil that where lying there and stabbed him in the eye. He howled like and animal and fell off of me, clutching his bleeding eye. "You bitch!!" He screamed. I quickly back-rolled off my bed and ran to the door. I didn't get very far before he was in front of me. His eye was spilling blood but the pencil was laying in the spot where he fell. He picked me up by the front of my shirt and flung me like a doll towards the wall. When back connected with the wall the air flew from my lungs as well as some blood. "I'm going to rape you then kill you and there is nothing a silly weak girl like you can do about it." He laughed as he walked unsteadily towards me.

"Watch me." I gasped as I rose back to my feet, clutching the left side of my body. The broken rib he just gave me was burning like the flames of hell. He ran towards me and I dodged. With the last of my energy I ran back to my desk and grabbed the pink girly scissors that where inside. "Got you now." He breathed from behind me. Without thinking I spun around and dug the scissors into his rib cage. Blood splatter my clothes as he let out another howl. I felt all my anger leave my body as I pull the scissors out and raised them above my head. The fear that was in his eyes gave me pleasure, finally he would feel what I felt for four years. Now I could get my revenge. Without a second thought I brought the scissors down his chest cutting it open. Blood spewed all around me, including on me. I lost control after that and blanked out. When I came back around I was kneeling on the ground covered in Jak's blood. Jak was next to me cut deeply in various places. My mom and brother where at my door suddenly concerned about the noise.

"Oh my god." My mother gasped, hand over her mouth.

"You killer." Rodrick pointed to me anger and hatred in his eyes.

"No you don't understand. He was trying to rape me I was defending myself. I..I.." My mom rushed into my room and shoved me aside. She pulled the mangled body of Jak to her chest crying heavily. "You freak you killed him. I hate you. I HATE YOU!!" The next day the entire town was told about what happened and I became an out cast. The only people that where still beside was Elyk and his family, Blaise and her family, and Damien with his. My family has forever since viewed me as a killer of the best damn thing that ever happened to them.

**End flashback

Tears no longer flowed from my eyes but I was still shivering heavily. Rain soaked through every part of my body and froze me to the bone. I tried to stand but my legs where frozen so I fell down into the mud. I curled into a tight ball and cried dryly. Soon a pair of warm arms pulled me up.

"Lilun…" Elyk mumbled before pulling me into the tightest and warmest hug ever. "I thought I lost you. I..I thought the darkness had taken you from me." His tears warmed my cheek and his love unfroze my heart.

"Why." I whispered as I stared into his brown eyes. "Why do you still love me. Why didn't you leave me like the rest when you found out I killed Jak. Why are you still here. Why are you, Blaise, and Damien still with me."

"Because we love you." He chocked back more tears. "Especially me. I love you so much and I will never leave you alone. When I found out you killed Jak it made me realize how alone you must have been. Even though we where friends you must have been so alone." He pulled me closer. Kairu licked my cheek and whimpered such a sad whimper that it broke my heart. "I will never leave you Lilun. I love you. I love you." He kept repeating that he loved me over and over.

"I love you too Elyk. Thank you."

*Darkness retreating. Light returning*

"Thank you. I love you." I repeated that phrase over and over as I kissed him all over. He soon pulled me into the deepest and most passionate kiss. And that's how we stayed in the rain, kissing and holding each other. Tears falling from our eyes.