34 |thirty-two|

"I figured I'd find you here. It's the only other room in this place you know." Chan chuckles as he slips into the studio.

I swallow hard and pull my knees to my chest. Tears continue to fall down my face as he kneels on the ground beside me. He wraps his arm around me and guides my head to his shoulder.

"I know it's stressful. They're a lot to handle. They care so much that it's crippling at times." Chan whispers softly, not expecting an answer from me.

I close my eyes tightly as I try to fight off my anxiety. Today was supposed to be fun. I was supposed to have the best day of my life, but instead, I'm overwhelmed with a sense of pressure I never imagined.

"You're not the only one on edge. We're trying to figure out how to make it easier, but it's not as simple as it seems. The most effective way of reducing the pressure would be to outright say there's something going on between you and JiSung, but that'll open up a new set of problems. We have to walk around this like we're walking on eggshells. One wrong move and we could risk breaking everything." Chan rubs at my back as I frantically try to dry my eyes.

"Just hold on a little longer. I promise I'll figure it out." Chan rests his cheek against my forehead as the door creeps open again.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up. I was just worried about Sungie." SeungMin mumbles as he closes the door behind him.

SeungMin sits on the ground next to Chan. He watches me closely, ashamed to have been the one to overwhelm me.

"No ones mad, Min. It's just confusing and stressful right now. It'll all work itself out." Chan reassures him as he takes my face in his hands.

"We're going to go back to the practice room and you're going to tell me about my present while I eat my very late lunch." Chan chuckles as he dries my eyes.

He and SeungMin get to their feet. Chan holds his hand out for mine and I hesitantly take it. He pulls me onto my feet as SeungMin holds the door open.

"Chan—" ChangBin stops in front of us abruptly.

"What?" Chan eyes him suspiciously as ChangBin holds his phone out for him.

Chan immediately lets go of my hand and rushes toward the practice room. ChangBin's eyes are filled with worry as he takes Chan's stop beside me. He licks his lips nervously as he does everything he can to avoid looking at me.

"Give me my phone—" JiSung complains.

"You have to listen to me first—I'll take care of it, okay? You have to agree to let me handle it." Chan insists as we reach the practice room. He holds JiSung's phone as far from him as he possibly can.

"Let you handle what? I have no idea what you're talking about—just give me my phone." JiSung's voice dies down a bit as his eyes fall on me.

"Promise me, JiSung. I'll handle it." Chan lowers his hand with JiSung's phone in it slowly.

"You can handle whatever your problem is—just give it back." JiSung reaches out and snatches it from him.

"Uh—JiSung—I think I know what it is." JeongIn hesitantly shows JiSung his phone.

JiSung's face goes pale as his phone slips from his fingers. He swallows hard before looking up at me. I can't help but not want to know. If it has them panicking, it'll only make me spiral into an endless pit of worry. I won't be able to function.

"It's my fault." HyunJin sighs as he locks his phone and sets it down on the ground. He gets to his feet and hangs his head in regret.

"Members of a famous boy group spotted with an unidentified female on the streets near company building." SeungMin reads from behind me.

"They don't know who she is—for all they know she could've just been a fan we ran into." MinHo attempts to step up and make sense of the situation.

"It's not when we were all together." Felix mumbles as he scrolls through the article.

"It was when I was carrying her." JiSung states coldly as he stares at the ground.

I feel my knees grow weak. I grab onto ChangBin to keep myself standing. I dig my nails into the palm of my free hand as I try to hold back my tears. I've already cried enough today—I don't want to cry anymore.

"Tell me what happened. I'll explain it to our manager—I'm sure he'll be here soon." Chan instructs as he rubs at the back of his neck.

I quickly lose control of my breathing as my thoughts begin to race. There are so many things that can go wrong now. If they find my name—if they have a picture of my face—my life could be over.

ChangBin watches me closely, unsure how to help me. He looks back at SeungMin for help, but SeungMin is just as lost. I close my eyes tightly as I struggle to try and ground myself. My heart drops the moment I feel hands on me. I'm swept off my feet.

I scratch uncontrollably at my arms. My fear begins to consume me from the inside out. The last thing I want right now is to be held. I don't want to have to fight off the strange tingling feeling along with this horrifying fear.

"She's going to make herself bleed—" Felix steps forward as JiSung sets me down on the couch.

"I've got this." JiSung states firmly as he stills my hands. He holds them tightly in his own before guiding them to his neck.

He encourages me to lock my fingers behind his head. Despite the urge to keep scratching, I know it's for the best if I stop. Once JiSung manages to stop my instinctual self-assault, he tangles his fingers in my hair and guides my head to his chest.

"What can we do to help?" JeongIn asks helplessly as they watch JiSung try to ease me down from another panic attack.

"Nothing—just stay back." JiSung states calmly as he gently runs his nails up and down my back.

The others look at each other hesitantly, but do as told. I cling to JiSung tightly as footsteps echo down the hall. SeungMin turns to see who's coming and his eyes immediately move to me.

"Hey, SeungMin—what's with the article? Where's JiSung?" An unfamiliar voice questions as it inches nearer.

"Uh—He's—he's in the practice room." SeungMin mumbles as he hesitantly steps into the room.

"I've got this." Chan reassures JiSung as JiSung turns to look at him.

"What's going on? What's the article about?" Their manager steps into the room, his eyes glued on his phone as he tries to decipher the article.

"The girl JiSung bumped into—we felt bad so we've been checking up on her." Chan starts as their manager finally glances up from his phone. He searches the room for JiSung.

"I want JiSung to tell me what's going on." He mumbles as he sets eyes on us.

"It's my fault." HyunJin mumbles as he steps forward. He hangs his head low as he steps between us and their manager.

"How exactly is it your fault? You didn't make JiSung carry her." He eyes each one of the boys suspiciously.

"I was with her, but I left to go get JiSung. I didn't get back fast enough so she got scared. She had a panic attack so JiSung carried her. There's really nothing going on." HyunJin tries to lighten the earful they're going to get.

"No—there is something going on. I'm not going to hide it. I like her. I'd carry her again just because. I'm a human, too. I have feelings. Just because I'm an idol doesn't mean I have to put myself last." JiSung loosens his grip on me and stands up.

"All you really had to tell me was something was going on. I just need to know what to tell people. They'll take care of it. However, is it a dating thing—or is it just a crush as of now. That does make a difference. If it's not dating, we can get away with saying she's just close friends with you guys." Their manager looks from JiSung to Chan, searching for an answer.

"Friends—we're all just friends. JiSung just has a one sided crush on her." MinHo steps up to fill the silence. He knows more than anyone else does—even if no one knows it but him and me.

"Sounds good. I just have one request—try to be a little more careful. It's also better if more than one of you is with her at a time. It makes the story stick a bit better." Their manager mumbles before slipping out of the room.

"We are so going to be murdered when we get home." JeongIn sighs as he falls down on the ground.

"Have you eaten yet?" Felix turns to Chan, clearly trying not to think about what's going to happen next.

"I have not." Chan sighs as he glances around the room in search of the pizza box.

JiSung looks back at me as I pull my knees to my chest. I rub at my eyes before I rest my cheek on my knees. He sits down beside me as I take a shaky breath. There's nothing I can do. It's already done. The next best thing is to just accept it and move on. They don't know my name. They don't know anything about me. They won't find me if they try.

"MinHo." I mumble as I raise my head. All eyes fall on me as I set my feet on the ground.

"Yeah?" He perks up as he turns to face me.

"Can you bring me the bag? I didn't get to give Chan and JiSung their presents." I force a weak smile as MinHo picks up the bag.

"What'd you get us?" Chan immediately abandons the food and hurries toward me excitedly.

"You're not getting yours until you eat." I close the bag and grin up at him playfully.

"Fine. I'll eat." Chan sighs as he spins back around to grab a piece of pizza.

"Sungie first so Chan can eat." I turn to JiSung. He looks exhausted and distant, but I know he can't help it. Today's been rough on all of us.

"What'd you get me? I'm excited." JiSung turns off his power saver mode and squirms happily beside me.

"For my Squirrel, I got a big stuffed squirrel. Actually, I got two. One for you and one for me." I chirp as I hand it to him. He wraps his arms around it tightly and buries his face in it.

"And for Channie, I got a stuffed kangaroo." I hold the kangaroo out for him. He looks around playfully before scurrying toward me. He stuffs his pizza in his mouth and grabs it from me.