32 |thirty|

I look around frantically. My heart racing as I search for HyunJin. He's gone. No one around me looks even slightly familiar. He wouldn't run away from me. He was just on the phone. I feel my chest tighten and my heart begins to race. I swallow hard as I press my back to the building and slowly slide down it.

I set my things on the ground beside me. The bustling world around me begins to close in on me. I can't focus on anything. Everything just seems to scream and yell at me. There's nothing but distraction after crippling distraction. I can't seem to ease my mind with anything.

I place my hands over my ears and close my eyes tightly. I slowly rock back and forth. It's all I have right now. I don't even have the stuffed animals I bought to hold. HyunJin has them.

"Ari—I'm sorry!" HyunJin calls as he comes rushing toward me. He sets the bags down and kneels beside me.

"Move back—I got this." JiSung reassures HyunJin as he kneels down. He delicately wraps his arm around me and pulls me toward him.

JiSung takes my trembling hand in his and squeezes tightly as he places his lips beside my ear. He hums softly as he rocks with me, trying to soothe me as quickly as possible. I can't fight the tears anymore, they win me over.

"Grab her stuff." JiSung states firmly before getting to his feet and picking me up.

I can feel eyes on us from every direction. I doubt it's because they noticed who they are. It's all my fault they're staring. They think I'm a freak. They aren't wrong. I am.

"Ignore it." JiSung whispers as he holds me tightly against his chest.

I rub at my eyes and take a shaky breath before wrapping my arms around his neck. I bury my face in his chest and try to get myself under control. It's a lot harder than it seems. I can't control the tears pouring down my face. I can't control the terror coursing through my veins.

"I didn't think she'd be done that fast—I shouldn't have left her alone." HyunJin begins to beat himself up as he trails behind us.

"It's not your fault. You didn't know. She'll be fine once she calms down." JiSung reassures him with a glance over his shoulder.

"Still—I should've at least told her I was going to get you." HyunJin sighs as he picks up his pace so he falls in step beside us.

"You're going to make her feel worse if you keep blaming yourself." JiSung mumbles as he looks down at me.

He isn't wrong. HyunJin didn't do anything wrong. It's my mind that was in the wrong. It made me over think things in a fraction of a second. I went from knowing he didn't run away to thinking the whole world was going to attack me. It's just how things go for me.

"She was happy before I left—now she's going to be upset. I told her I was going to do my best to keep her happy as long as I can, but I already ruined that." HyunJin sighs as grips tightly onto the bags.

"I can't grab my phone—if we stop for a second, can you put the bags down and call MinHo or someone?" JiSung asks as he slows to a stop.

I take a deep breath and squirm out of his arms. My legs threaten to give out on me, but I do my best to keep myself standing. I rub at my eyes before looking up at HyunJin. He looks away, too ashamed to meet my gaze.

"I'm okay." I whisper weakly as I rub at my arm.

"Stay here with HyunJin. I have to call MinHo." JiSung states firmly as he smooths my hair down delicately.

I nod as he places a kiss on top of my head. The moment JiSung laid his hands on me, I knew I'd be okay. He's like a drug. My own personal happy pill. He's always been the one person who could snap me out of nearly anything.

I take a weak step toward HyunJin and wrap my arm around his. I smile as I rest my head on his shoulder. He tenses beneath my touch, still upset with himself. I chuckle softly as I reach up to poke his cheek.

"What was that for?" HyunJin mumbles as he leads me toward a bench a little further down the street.

"Because you're moping. Stop it. If you're upset, I'm upset." I pout as he stares down at me.

"I left you alone and you had a panic attack—I can't not be upset. I shouldn't have left you." HyunJin sighs as we both fall onto the bench.

"I've been left alone by so many people—at least you came back." I whisper softly as I recall how many people abandoned me the moment things got tough.

"Of course, I came back. Why wouldn't I?" HyunJin looks at me shocked.

"Because I'm a pain—I cause more problems than it's worth. I'm stressful to be around. I act out without realizing it at times. I'm an emotional mess despite not understanding emotions at all." I explain casually as I watch JiSung pace back and forth.

"He's trying to convince MinHo to pick up the pizza." HyunJin explains as he nudges me.

"Why? I thought the others already took it to the practice room." I turn toward him in confusion.

"The pizza place fell behind so they needed a bit longer to finish it. When I left, I went to get JiSung so he knew where we were. I didn't even think about you having a panic attack. If he has to carry you, he can't carry the pizza." HyunJin mumbles as he stares down at his feet.

"I can walk. I'll be fine—I just may need to hold your arm until my legs get their strength back." I attempt to stand up to go tell JiSung, but HyunJin pulls me back down.

"MinHo will do it, he's just being a pain. He's probably pestering JiSung about something stupid." HyunJin reassures me as he glances over at JiSung.

"Well, I have a bone to pick with MinHo, so I'm going over there." I state as I pat HyunJin's thigh.

I get to my feet and hurry toward JiSung. I smile brightly as I grab ahold of his arm. He glances down at me in shock. He returns my smile and wraps his arm around my waist.

"Thank you." JiSung groans as he hangs up his phone and slips it into his pocket.

"Does MinHo have the pizza?" HyunJin asks as he approaches us.

"Yeah, he and JeongIn went to get it. They said they figured we'd get distracted and forget it or something. They're already on their way back to the company. We're a few minutes behind them." JiSung shrugs as he lowers his arm from my waist.

"Let's hurry—I don't want cold pizza. I also don't want them to eat it all on us." HyunJin picks up his pace and immediately heads toward the company.

"Get on my back." JiSung instructs as he lowers himself down.

"I can walk." I insist as I start after HyunJin.

"Please just get on my back—it's slippery, your legs are weak—I just feel better knowing your safe." JiSung insists as he catches my arm.

"Fine." I give in to his request and climb onto his back.

I wrap my arms around his neck and rest my head on his shoulder. He reaches his arms back to hold me before hurrying after HyunJin.

"You were worried I was going to fall, but the fact you're running tells me you were more worried about beating HyunJin back." I chuckle softly as I tighten my grip on him. The last thing I want to do is fall of his back.

"These are facts—I was also worried you'd get hurt, but I wanted to beat HyunJin for sure." JiSung nods in agreement as he catches up to HyunJin.