I make my way toward the window and tug the curtain aside just enough to steal a peek at the bustling city beneath me. Sometimes I wish I could be apart of it. I want to be able to live a normal life, too. I want to have friends. I want to have a job.
I close the curtain and move toward my closet. I may not be able to go for a walk just yet, but I can at least sit outside. I prepare for the most plausible situation and opt for the most uncomfortable yet cutest outfit I have. If I run into them again, I have to look better than I did last night.
I tug my favorite black dress on before digging for a pair of fleece lined tights. I grimace as I tug them over my knee. In hopes of avoiding making my knee any worse, I grab my knee brace and secure it tightly on my injured knee. I get to my feet and stand in front of my mirror. My clothes look nice, my brace is a sight for sore eyes, but it'll have to work.
The next task is making my face look presentable. I dig through my bathroom for my makeup I rarely ever touch. Foundation. Concealer. Setting powder. Eyeshadow. Eyeliner. Mascara. The list goes on and on. How can someone do this everyday?
I glance up at my own reflection. I don't know who the girl staring back at me is, but she looks better. She looks presentable. I run my fingers through my hair. Good enough. I sigh as I make my way toward the living room.
The sun went down a few hours ago. They should be coming home soon. Maybe I should wait until I hear them. I don't want to run into them again, especially not where someone can see us.
A knock. Followed closely by another and a faint laugh. They're home. They're home and knocking on the door.
I take a shaky breath and drag myself toward the door. I stand on my tiptoes in attempt to see who's in the hall waiting to ambush me. MinHo and SeungMin stand on the other side chatting.
I tug the door open and slip out. I stare down at my feet as I pick at my nails. I notice JiSung and Chan messing around as they make their way into their apartment.
"We just wanted to come invite you over. Chan wants to check on your knee." MinHo mumbles as he scratches at the back of his neck. He glances down at my knee and quickly looks away.
"I'm alright." I try to find an easy way out. I actually enjoyed last night despite the anxiety attacks and pain, but two nights in a row. I don't deserve this. There are so many other fans that deserve this opportunity.
"Just tell her the truth." SeungMin rolls his eyes as he pulls me off to the side. He glances around to make sure we're alone.
"You tell her and he finds out he'll murder you." MinHo warns as he leans against the wall.
"JiSung wants to see you. He said he feels really bad and he couldn't apologize properly yesterday because he was too scared. He wants a second chance to apologize properly." SeungMin states as he turns toward the door to ensure no one is coming out after them.
"I don't know. I—I'm not a people person." I rub at my arm shyly.
"Neither is he." MinHo chuckles as he shakes his head and starts making his way toward their apartment. "Come on Min, we'll tell him she's busy."
SeungMin gives me a weak smile before following after MinHo. I chew on my lip and tap my foot. I reach out to stop them.
"Okay. I'll come, but I have to grab something first." I quickly type in the code and slip back in the apartment.
If I'm going in willingly, I'm going to need something to help with my anxiety. The only option is Taro. He's not super small, but he's one of my smallest stuffed animals. I'm going to look like a freak, but maybe that'll make them leave me alone. Maybe they'll let me watch them from a distance in peace.
I slip into my room and grab Taro from my bed. I take one last glance at myself in my mirror before hurrying back toward the hall.
"Now, there's rules we need to discuss before we open the door." MinHo states with a straight face.
Rules? Don't tell people where they live? That will never happen. Don't take things? Once again, never gonna happen—with the exception of JiSung's pants, but they were given to me. Don't take pictures? My phone is still in my desk, so there's no way that will happen.
"Shut up. You're going to make her even more worried than she already is. Look at her, she's clearly terrified." SeungMin slaps MinHo's shoulder before tugging the door open. He kicks MinHo's butt and forces him inside.
"I'm going to—" JiSung stops screaming the moment he sees me. His eyes fall to the ground and he plops himself down on the couch.
"Ah—you got her to come!" Chan hurries toward me with a huge smile.
"She wasn't a big fan of the idea, but we did some convincing." SeungMin mumbles as he slips passed Chan to attack the snacks on the table.
I hold Taro to my chest tightly. I probably look like a giant baby holding Taro in front of them, but he's the only way I'll be able to get through this.
"Come over here, I want to look at your knee—" Chan stops as he notices my tights.
"It's okay, really." I insist as Chan motions for me to sit down on the couch.
"Sweat pants." Chan nods to himself as he hurries off to his room.
"I'm really fine." I try to stop him before he gets too far, but I'm not fast enough.
I can feel eyes on me. My heart races as I bury my face in Taro's head. I take a few shaky breaths before looking up to see JiSung staring at my knee. I glance down at my knee brace. He probably thinks he did it.
"Here, out these on." Chan holds out a pair of sweatpants for me.
"I—I just live across the hall, I can go change." I instinctively place Taro on the couch and get to my feet.
I hurry toward the door, wanting a chance to breathe. I close their door behind me and press my back to it. I jump as the doorknob turns. I hurry across the hall and frantically type in the code as ChangBin slips into the hall.
"I'll wait here for you. Chan insists he doesn't want you to have to knock on the door. He also doesn't want you falling on your way back." ChangBin chuckles as I swallow hard and nod.
I close the door behind me and make my way toward my bedroom. I put so much effort into my look, only to have to change into something less appealing. I mean—it won't be as itchy and uncomfortable as this—but I won't look good. I settle on my favorite sweats and an oversized T-shirt. This is the best option. I can't wear leggings, Chan won't be able to look at my knee. That means jeans are out of the picture, too.
I look at my reflection before tossing my head forward and throwing my hair up into a messy bun. If I'm doing it, I'm playing the part to it's full extent. I grab my phone from my desk and hurry back into the living room. I stop in my tracks as the front door opens.
"Where are you going?" MinJi asks as I stand awkwardly in the kitchen.
"I—I—I'm just going to see a friend." I stumble over my words before quickly slipping around her and shutting the door behind me.