Chatter fills the room around me. I can't help but try and pick up on some of it.
"I can't believe he's opening up already. He never talks to new people."
"She seems good for him."
"I'm already planning the wedding."
I yawn and rub at my eyes. My heart races as I look up to see JiSung's sleeping face. I shoot up in a panic. When did I fall asleep? Why am I sleeping in his lap? I hesitantly look around, hoping we're alone.
"Hm?" Chan spins around to face me. The others immediately shut their mouths before they can say anything that'll cause problems.
JiSung's eyes open as he sense his empty lap. He sits upright and stretches his arms up above his head. Our eyes meet for a second before I hop to my feet.
My blanket falls to the ground and JiSung stands up. He blocks me from the others as he bends down to grab my blanket. He wraps it around me securely before glancing down at my thighs.
"Are—are you guys hungry?" Felix attempts to steer everyone's attention to the disastrous mess SeungMin and him created.
"I need coffee. You want to come?" JiSung asks as he looks over at me.
"I'm not really dressed for it." I mumble. I wouldn't mind going with him, but I can't when I look like this.
"Top drawer of the dresser next to the door. I'll wait here." JiSung motions toward one of the bedrooms.
I hesitantly make my way toward the room. I shouldn't wear another pair of his sweatpants. I already have some at home. If I keep it up, he won't have any left.
I close my eyes and shut the door behind me. I take a shaky breath before ensuring I'm alone. The last thing I need is to change in front of someone without realizing it. I set Taro and my blanket down on the nearest bed. I open the drawer and grab the first pair of sweatpants I see.
"JiSung, her legs." Someone whispers, just barely loud enough for me to hear.
They saw. I'm so stupid. Why did I agree to watching movies with them? I should've stayed home. It was already really late when he asked, but I agreed anyway. I honestly don't even remember what happened last night.
I struggle to keep my eyes open as the third movie hits it's climax. I rub frantically at my eyes and slap my cheeks lightly. JeongIn and HyunJin have been out since the middle of the first movie. ChangBin and Felix passed out in the second one. Honestly, I'm shocked JiSung is still awake.
I pull my knees to my chest and do my best to avoid leaning against JiSung. I can't help but let my eyes flutter shut. I feel my head give in and fall forward. Taro slips from my grasp, but I'm too exhausted to care. I've had more anxiety attacks in the past forty-eight hours than I typically have in a week. My body is on the verge of a shutdown.
My blanket falls off of my lap and a cool breeze alerts me that my legs are exposed, but I don't care. I've spent the last four or five hours sitting here laughing and joking with them as if we've been best friends for years. The thought of them seeing my scars no longer alarms me.
"JiSung, she's asleep." Chan whispers as he leans forward.
I'm not technically asleep—yet—but very close. I can still hear what's going on. JiSung moves quickly. He picks up my blanket and places it over top of me before grabbing Taro from the floor. I feel him place Taro in my lap before carefully guiding my head to his shoulder.
"Should I wake her up so she can go home?" JiSung asks softly.
"I say just leave her. She looks peaceful. Besides, you said it yourself earlier, she's exhausted." SeungMin mumbles as he gets to his feet.
"I'll get you a blanket and you can sleep out here with her. Someone should be with her if she wakes up." Chan explains as he makes his way out of the room.
"Get your butt up and go to bed." SeungMin begins waking the others as JiSung squirms beside me.
He doesn't feel comfortable sleeping this close to me. Honestly, if I was in my right mind, I would be the one objecting, but I'm not. I'm too tired to really care. If he wanted, he push me on the floor and I'd be fine with it.
"I don't know if I can do this." JiSung whispers as Chan hands him a blanket.
"Why not? She's just sleeping. I don't see her doing anything to you. She's far too hesitant to. Honestly, she'll probably freak out when she wakes up next to you. I wouldn't be shocked if she's gone before you wake up." Chan reassures him.
"I guess you're right." JiSung nods weakly as he gives in and settles down beside me.
"She trusts you more than she trusts the rest of us. So, you're clearly the best choice to stay with her. Goodnight, JiSung. If you need anything, you know where I am." Chan ruffles JiSung's hair before squeezing his shoulder.
JiSung tenses beneath me as he's left alone with me and only me. Without warning, my thoughts begin to shift. I was alright being here with him. I honestly found it thrilling, but now I'm starting to second guess myself.
"Don't say anything. You didn't see it." JiSung warns under his breath.
"Shouldn't we tell someone? What if they're new?" Chan is the first to object. I kind of figured he would be. He cares so much that at times it's overwhelming.
"I'll figure it out. For now—please just act like you don't know. You'll scare her away." JiSung practically pleads as I linger next to the door.
I press my back to it and slide down it. He's looking out for me. He's trying to keep me here. He shouldn't have to make them lie just to keep me around. I shouldn't make him lie.
If I want him to be happy, I have to be honest. I have to tell everyone, not just him. If I just tell him, he's left with a heavy weight on his shoulders that he has to try and keep safe. It isn't fair to do that to him. He already has enough problems of his own.
I take a shaky breath and get to my feet. My fingers delicately wrap around the cool doorknob before tugging it open.
"They're old." I state as calmly as I can.
"What?" HyunJin spins around to face me.
"The scars—they're old. Years old." I lower my head and ball my hands up into fists.
"You don't have to tell us." JiSung steps up and tries to silence me before things go too far.
"What's it matter? They already know. They deserve to know what they're from and why they're there." I grab ahold of the counter to steady myself.
"You don't have to if you don't want to. As long as you're okay, that's all that matters." SeungMin tries to help JiSung stop me from going any further, but I've already set my mind on telling them the truth—the whole truth.
"I'll tell you, but I have one request." I glance over at JiSung who watches me closer than I ever imagined possible.