52 Plagued with Thoughts

In the wee hours of the morning, another group of doctors waltzed towards Zoey's ward located at the far end of the infirmary's right-wing reserved for the upper echelons of the military. Upon entering the room, the entourage was welcomed with a girl knocked out from all her prescriptions. The noise around the girl didn't bother her slumber even when they continued to monitor her vitals and talk about her case in her presence. The chief doctor randomly directed questions at his subordinates too to make sure the residents take down key notes.

Once the doctors were done with their assessment, they filed out of the room like worker ants crawling in a line. However, the entourage came to a halt when their chief doctor motioned to them, his clipboard waved in the air. He turned around and saw Zoey clutching on his sleeve yet again. "Water…" she asked in her sleepy, raspy voice.

The doctor's devilishly handsome smile stole the hearts of the nurses. This was the third time that this patient had asked him for water. He shook his head when he saw the side table full of flowers and snacks yet the most important of them all — which is the water — was still missing. So he dipped his hand inside his lab coat pocket and fished out his turquoise water bottle that has an eagle print on it and let Zoey drink the water in her sleepy state. The doctor was about to take back his water bottle but the lithe girl hugged the bottle to her chest, making the poor fellow tap his foot twice on the floor impatiently and ultimately decided to leave his water bottle under Zoey's care.

Two Days Later…

It was noontime and Zoey could not wait for her daddy to pick her up from the hospital. The doctor released her discharge papers and now she's up and ready to go home. The place seemed to be shrinking in size the longer she stayed in her ward that she started to itch to get out of the place immediately. She looked at the window where rays of sunshine filtered through giving off a mesmerizing display of specks of dust dancing in the air. A soft knock distracted her from her dust hypnosis and a look of surprise registered on her face.

"Teacher," she mumbled.

"I heard about your hospitalization." Teacher Susan didn't even beat around the bush and talked non stop on her way to a seat — welcoming and making herself comfortable in the room. The smell of disinfectant was faint compared to the other rooms yet it bothered Teacher Susan, her nose twitched followed by three lines creasing on her forehead. She carried the air of a strict teacher but her face showed gentleness when she focused on Zoey.

"Sai Xinyu, Teacher is old thus my voice is weak. How can you hear what I am about to say when you're glued to the window?" Teacher Susan tapped the bed twice jolting Zoey from her frozen spot. She hurriedly walked closer to her teacher and sat on the bed.

"I felt a pang of guilt when I heard the news. I ask myself whether I was one of the reasons why you chose to go down that path," Teacher Susan held Zoey's hand before continuing, "but you must know that I can only send one reference letter for a male and female student. However, it doesn't mean that I don't believe in you or I prefer Jenny more. Well, yes, she's my favorite but that's not the point. You were accepted at Vaganova Ballet Academy — the Harvard of Ballet School. That acceptance letter came in before you decided to go after your pottery hobby. You worked hard just to get that letter. You skipped meals, you practiced every day, and you dance until your toes bleed. Don't tell me now that you don't like one bit of ballet?"

"Teacher, nooo. Please. It's not your fault. Something is wrong with me. I can't… I don't feel contentment in everything that I do. I don't feel contentment with everything that I have. I… I don't know what's wrong with me, Teacher. My head's plagued with those thoughts that I shouldn't be thinking. I need help. I do." Zoey pursed her lips and looked at Teacher Susan's wrinkly hands which were more comfortable to look at than holding eye contact.

Teacher Susan exhaled, caressed Zoey's hand, and said, "If anything is worth doing, do it with all your heart." Zoey frowned upon hearing Teacher Susan's words. It felt like she recently encountered that saying but she could not pinpoint when. The old lady saw through her confusion and pulled her hand away, shakily taking out a paper from her purse. "That's what you wrote in our activity last time, stinky child."

Zoey let out a goofy laugh, she had nothing to write about that time and randomly wrote whatever crossed her mind. Now her teacher thinks that's her motto in life. Her smile reached her eyes, and so did her teacher's.

"Can I keep this, Teacher?"

"It's always yours, here." Teacher Susan tapped Zoey on her chest where her heart should be. Zoey gave Teacher Susan a deep and warm embrace, sniffling her earthy scent too — engraving the memory of this meeting in her heart and mind.

"Find your purpose, Xinyu. Maybe that's what your heart is really looking for. You have your family's money to spend. Spend it for a greater cause — find peace for yourself."

Teacher Susan left Zoey's ward, her heart filled with content. Her only reward after her decades of teaching was to see her students grow into happy adults. She turned around a corner and saw a familiar face by the nurse's station. A beautiful smile shone on her face uplifting the mood of the graveyard shift nurses who were ready to drop.

"Guma!" (dad's older sister)

The clean-shaven doctor could not contain his euphoria upon seeing his auntie in the most unexpected place of all. He heard stories from his parents that ever since his uncle's sudden demise from heart attack, his auntie never set foot in a hospital but look at where they met after months of not seeing each other.

"Aiyoo! My Chief Ryan is here!"

Edited by Swaning