3 Chapter Three

One year has passed since I remembered my past life. So many things have changed… For the worse.

I started to receive an official education from Lena, my nanny. Just the basic, though. She is only teaching me how to read and write, and social etiquette as well.

I thought I would go fine, since I have my past life memories now, and yes I did, at reading, only.

Lena got mad at any small mistake I made, even at my handwriting she got mad. I needed to write using cursive letters only.

'I didn't learn cursive letters in my past life!'

"Do you call this a 'T'?! How can you not do anything right, you stupid kid!" Lena scolded me basically shouting at my face.

'Come on! You just taught me how to write and you want that my every try be perfect? For a child, I am doing pretty well.' I thought, mad.

It seems that I was showing my thoughts because she got angrier. "Don't look at me like that, you brat!"

"Ouch!" I shouted in pain.

Lena whipped me with her small black whip in my hand, it hurt so bad that I couldn't stop the tears falling from my eyes.

"Stop crying, and go back to your chair! If you don't make it right this time I will whip you even worse!" Lena threatened me.

She wasn't lying.

Since Lena started teaching me she had now a whip in her hand. Any small mistake I did she didn't hesitate to whip me.

I had luck if at the end of the day my hands weren't bleeding.

One night I was trying to sleep, but I couldn't because my hands hurt a lot.

I started crying.

'I thought that I let my depressed teen phase in my past life, but now I am a depressed child… That's so pathetic.'

When that woman told me that I could live in another world, I thought that I would live so many adventures just like the heroes in a fantasy book.

I sighed.

'If I knew this life would be like this I would just ask to go back to my past life somehow.'

Actually, I had a pretty good and normal life back then.

Though my parents were always busy, and when they weren't they were just too tired for me, I still had my siblings and my friends.

"...I feel so lonely."

Thinking about my friends and my siblings made me cry worse than before. The longing I felt for my friends and family was more painful than my bleed hands.

'I just want to go back home.'

In this last whole year, the only thing that made me keep going was the hope I had that I would succeed in my escape from this place.

Almost every day I went to the library and read books about magic. There was a book that teaches how to use magic, but no matter how much I tried nothing happened.

Maybe it was because my mother from this life could be a commoner, and because of that I coudn't use magic.

'But I asked to be able to use magic before getting reincarnated… What if, the angel-like lady from before was actually a devil, not an angel? And that's why she brought me to this shitty life?'

That would make sense… But I couldn't stop remembering her smile from before, she seemed so kind and happy for me, it really looked like she wanted me to be happy.

"That's it!" I said confident.

I got up from my bed and sneaked out of my room in the middle of the night.

'I will try one more time, tonight it will work!' I thought determined.

Carefully I walked through the dark corridors holding a lamp in my hand, trying to be as quiet as possible, I didn't want to wake up the maids or Lena, or else I would be punished again.

I managed to go to the library without being seen.

I took the magic book and opened it. And then I read again the same simple phrase that I have already read so many times.

It says, that to manifest your magic for the first time, you have to concentrate on feeling the mana flowing through your hands.

I've already tried it so many times, but I always failed.

'But this time I won't fail. I can't fail!'

I closed my eyes and then I concentrated to feel my mana. The book says that mana is energy that everyone has inside, it's the magic fuel, without mana there's no magic.

Few minutes had passed while I tried to focus on my mana.

"!"

For the first time, I could feel it. I felt the mana, it was a warm energy flowing inside of me.

Then I felt tingling in my hands. When I opened my eyes my hands were shining.

"I did it! I can use magic!" I said, excited.

But then suddenly I lost control, there was so much light coming out of my hands that I couldn't even keep my eyes open anymore. All the room and myself were swallowed by the light.

When I opened my eyes it was dark again. Somehow I stopped my magic.

"...Did anybody see that?" I asked myself, scared.

I got anxious. 'I have to go back to my room before someone finds me.'

But then I felt dizzy and weak. Just so I remembered that the book says that if you use too much mana you may faint.

'Shit…'

It was too late, before I could do anything I was already losing my conscience.

"Are you sure he is not dead?"

When I recovered my conscience I heard people talking around me. I felt my body heavy and hot, I was too weak to even open my eyes, but I still recognized them, it was Lena and the maids.

"Yes, he is still breathing." Lena answered calmly.

"Maybe we should talk to His Highness, this child needs a doctor." One of the maids said.

"Tsk. Why we should bother the King? His Highness probably wants him dead. We would be doing His Highness a favor by letting this child die." By her voice and nasty comment, I knew it was Flora. Between the maids, Flora is the one that doesn't even bother to hide her hatred towards me.

"Don't talk like this, Flora, don't you understand? If his highness wanted this child dead he would be dead already! If he dies, we will die as well." It was one of the maids that said that by her voice it seems to be…

"But, Alice, he is just a bastard! If His Highness even cared for this child he wouldn't be locked here in secret with us!" Flora shouted mad for being contradicted.

However, Alice didn't back down. "How can you be sure about it? What if the King cares about this child's wellbeing? Even if Alexander is a bastard he is still the King's child. We may be punished or even killed if something bad happens to him!"

Alice is the only maid that doesn't mistreat me, yet she isn't nice either. I've never understood her, but now I realized that she just thinks that the King may care about me, so she doesn't want something bad happening to her in the future if I have the King's favor.

She is a clever woman, but I think that Flora may be right. For as long as I remember, I've never seen the King even once. He never showed any kind of attention or care for me. I don't know why he let me live, but I don't think the reason is as noble as love.

"Stop both of you!"

Suddenly Lena shouted calling their attention.

"For now, let's wait. If this child doesn't get better, I will tell His Highness. All of this is my fault, if someone will be punished it will be me. So stop fighting you both! If you want to do something useful, bring me a wet towel, it seems that this child is having a fever." Lena said that touching my forehead with her hand.

"Y-Yes, I will get the towel. I'll be right back!" Alice said and left the room.

It surprised me hearing that.

'Then, Lena thinks it's her fault that I am like this… Well, it's kinda her fault, but it is surprising seeing her admitting it.'

Before Alice came back with the wet towel, I had passed out again.