91 4.9
Little Leaf Village was pretty typical to what you expect from a rural village in ancient china. Dusty, a lot of brown colours, a stray dog sitting by the outskirts. Those sort of things. Mainly the inhabitants of the area were from farming families and the scenery when nearing the village became filled with paddy fields, oxen and other farming related things.
...What? As if Jia Hyson knew the agricultural situation in this bullshit time period. He doesn't even like reading harem intrigue in quick transmigration arcs that much so his knowledge of these types of stories were a little more lacking compared to other genres.
All he knows is that there are definitely no sweet potatoes. Because that's like the number one big contribution all transmigrated heroines that go to ancient times do in the face of famine. They introduce sweet potatoes.
Which, like fair, sweet potatoes grow like weeds, are filling, and overall a good staple food. But still. Like ugh. At least do something else. Investing in irrigation, introducing capitalist ideas to provide incentives for farmers to increase their agricultural productivity, encouraging research on drought resistant plants through artificial selection and breeding… Jia Hyson isn't much of an expert but he feels like there's definitely more that could be done.
Bebe: 'You know, sweet potatoes in reality aren't exactly native to China ah.'
Jia Hyson: ???
Bebe: 'Yeah, famous patriotic historians insisted that sweet potatoes are ingenious to China but in reality they were introduced in the Ming Dynasty through trading with Americans.'
Jia Hyson: 'What, seriously?'
Bebe: 'Seriously.'
Jia Hyson: '…So the web novel authors all lied to me.'
Bebe: 'Well, since we're in this world and it is written that sweet potatoes are grown here in the original story, technically sweet potatoes are native to China in this specific case so in a sense those authors aren't wrong since the worlds they create make them right.'
Bebe: 'Who know's, maybe sweet potatoes are native to China in every world but your own and it's because the author who wrote the ancient chinese stories that stabilised your world was a conspiracy nut.'
Jia Hyson: '…Are they?'
Bebe: 'Lol, no, they're definitely native to South America.'
Jia Hyson: 'Oh, okay.'
Bebe: 'Or are they really? (∩❛ڡ❛∩) Hehe.'
Jia Hyson: (ꐦ°᷄д°᷅) I don't want to play these mind games anymore.
Ye Cheng lived near the edge of the village. Not for any big reasons, it's simply because his parents lived nearby and it's easier to take care of his animals with more open space.
His house was small but it was also neither too luxurious nor too shabby. It still reeked of poverty with it's peeling paint, mold and worn down roof-tiles but on closer inspection nothing was awfully broken or badly damaged and in dire need of repair.
The same could be said for the inside of the house. While the furniture looks old, dirty and cheap, it wasn't uncomfortable to look at, rather it seemed very worn in and comfortable.
Jia Hyson decides reluctantly it was okay. Ye Cheng is a benefactor of his so his tolerance should be higher.
Luckily he was a baby dragon and no one could see the faint distasteful expression that could only come from a rich person facing... well facing exactly this.
However Bebe could sense it and snorted, 'Host, you'll have to deal with worse in the future ah,' it sneers, 'do you think the overseer will always arrange good conditions for you every time?'
'Good con-' Jia Hyson splutters indignantly, 'I was burned alive and lived in a doll in the second world! Fuck you!'
'...Oh right,' Bebe pauses then asks curiously, 'You're still not over that huh?'
'Bebe..'
'Hmmmm?'
'Let's aim to buy you a physical body okay?' (ʘ言ʘ╬) So this Laozi can burn you alive and see how long it takes for you to get over it.
Bebe: '...Bebe doesn't want to. Bebe's sorry.'
Ye Cheng had picked up quite a few animals over the years. Some were injured and had left after they healed, some stayed around the area and some like Da Gong and Lok Lok became part of the household. Apart from them, Ye Cheng also had some hens for egg-laying, a large, dirt-colored mixed breed dog named Da Shen (Big Hill), and black cat with only half a tail, Xiao Shua (Little Brush).
Da Shen was a lazy dog and Xiao Shua was an aggressive cat however both were incredibly subservient to Da Gong. When Ye Cheng enters the household the two animals merely give him a happy greeting but once the black rooster puts one claw into the house the pair are already standing at the door, sitting by the entrance with straight backs like guards awaiting the emperor to pass.
Ye Cheng: '...' Animals are so ungrateful ah.
Jia Hyson: 'Wao, Da Gong really is more male lead like than any of the other personas I met. He's so cool ah!'
Bebe: 'Bebe also can't help but agree. Somehow Da Gong is more manly and domineering than all of the others put together lol.'
Jia Hyson: 'Lol you're so mean, I love it.' (∩˃o˂∩)♡
If others heard the scene they would feel this system-host conversation would be akin to a couple of mean girls praising their male god by comparing and dissing their exes.
The 'exes' sitting in a drawer in the safe space: '...' Suddenly feeling a sense of crisis what to do?
Da Gong glanced at the cat and dog who were flattering him and 'tch'ed coldly. Da Shen and Xiao Shua both meowed and woofed respectfully lowering their heads and avoiding eye contact like timid prey in front of a predator. Their lowered gaze soon was attracted to the new creature at Da Gong's feet.
It was a small lizard. Not only was it a small lizard it was also quite strange to look at. With strange horse-like ears, bird-like claws and hair on it's tail. Not to mention even though it's brown in color under the light it seems to shine gold at the right angle, like an old poorly maintained antique, rusted and hiding the true beauty underneath.
Both Da Shen and Xiao Shua stared at the lizard.
And promptly drooled.
Jia Hyson: '...'
Right, cats and dogs are also killers and eaters of lizards.
Jia Hyson felt despairing. Are lizards so pitiful now? Since when did they become the bottom of everyone's food chain?
No, wait, something's wrong here, he's not a freaking lizard! He's a dragon! He's meant to be adored by the heavens! QAQ
He's been treated like a lizard, a pest, and unknowingly, a worm. Jia Hyson felt severely wronged. Even though what he asked for caused him to become this state, his main request- to be super cute- was still not fulfilled! No one is appreciating his cuteness! People think he looks ugly and weird! Fuck! Isn't this just a scam then?
While Jia Hyson was crying with no tears, Da Shen and Xiao Shua were very excited. After all, Da Gong, this tyrant is also a meat eater like them and also likes to drop gifts for themselves and his other subjects to show appreciation for their loyalty. Before the trip Da Shen had previously annoyed Da Gong by accidentally tripping over the rooster early in the morning and Xiao Shua had made the mistake of pissing she should not have pissed, also incurring Da Gong's anger, so they really hadn't expected to be brought a gift.
Even if it's only one lizard it's so unique, it must taste very good. Xiao Shua meows happily, stretching out a sneaky paw, wishing to have the first taste before smelly mutt gobbles it down. Da Shen, like his name, is quite big. A big dog with a big mouth and a big stomach. Xiao Shua was afraid this gluttonous old dog won't portion the lizard out fairly.
However before the outstretched paw could even touch a scale, a strong rooster claw stepped on it, pushing the paw into the dust on the floor.
Da Gong stares fiercely at Xiao Shua. "Cluck?"
Xiao Shua instantly cowers. Even though she was not a big cat, she was still a cat, yet this rooster was larger than herself not to mention abnormally strong. "Mrreow..." She whimpers submissively, as much as she tried she could not free her paw, fearful she immediately laid on her stomach and stared up pitifully at the bird.
Da Gong stares at her for some more before making a 'tch' sound and raising his talon, freeing the cat from his grasp. Xiao Shua hissed and licked her paw in attempt to try minimize the pain. She was sure that if they shaved her leg hair there would be a bruise the shape of Da Gong's foot. She was grateful that Da Gong still kept their friendship at heart and didn't use his sharp nails to do any terrible damage.
Da Shen also sees his little house companion's predicament and wisely puts back his drooling tongue, lying on his stomach and whimpering softly. As an old dog who used to live on the streets as a pup he knew when to bend and bow.
Da Gong clucks, satisfied with his subordinates' understanding before clucking a bit more, voice less agressive. At the sound both dog and cat sit back up again, as if reassured that the tyrannical rooster will no longer use his strength to subdue them. Jia Hyson watches this with wide eyes. He had sort of suspected this when Da Gong could make Lok Lok the horse stop and go but now he was sure that in this world animals can talk to each other regardless of species.
But why can't he understand them?
'You're still an infant,' Bebe inputs, 'and a malnourished one too, you're cognitive processing is underdeveloped. You should either have the passive skill [Dr Dolittle's Gift, you're not crazy, you're special. And crazy.] or [Zoolingualism, the language of zoos- I mean, animals.] or [Telepathy (Interspecies Edition)].'
Jia Hyson mentally pulls up the skillsets this body has in his mind. He had a lot of them but unfortunately they were almost all greyed out except for [Cutie Beam] which requires a bit of spiritual energy to use. Spiritual energy he wasn't really ready to waste just to seduce a dog and a cat.
Finally he finds the relevant skill. 'I have [Zoolingualism],' Jia Hyson notes, being that it's a passive skill that wasn't grey-ed out he felt quite pleased. Doesn't that mean it's pretty good ah?
'Ah, the cheapest one, Bebe supposes that makes sense.' Bebe mutters disappointedly, shattering Jia Hyson's happy thoughts.
[Dr Dolittle's Gift] allows anyone to speak to any animal on earth, unfortunately it was a passive skill and one couldn't turn off and on the animal's voices like in other skills. [Telepathy (Interspecies Edition) (Active)] can help a host understand what anyone of a different species is trying to convey as long as the other individual is actively communicating it in their head.
[Zoolingualism] on the other hand is fairly useless in comparison as it provides the host the potential to learn and speak other animals' languages, giving the host more flexibility in their vocal chords, hearing that will adjust to best listen to the animal's voice and a stronger intuition in interpreting body language.
In short, the first two were simply big cheats and the latter was a textbook.
There's also other similar language skills like [Subtitles, the subtleties of subtitles (Active)] that could help but those are BeBay exclusive skills that require p. Not to mention, since they are actually quite useful if a bit unorthodox, they are at least three times more expensive than [Zoolingualism] this skill that not even study gods would want to work on.
Jia Hyson: '…'
Jia Hyson who heard Bebe rant about how shitty his inactive [Zoolingualism] skill was really felt the malice of the universe. In school his strengths were biology, math and art. English and literature were surprisingly not good at all.
Learning new languages was difficult for Jia Hyson. It requires a lot of memory that he really didn't have. If not for the fact that Hollywood made way better movies and television shows than China with it's censorship laws and poor animation production then Jia Hyson truly felt like he would have never learnt the language in his lifetime.
For literature the largest reason was that creative writing was not a large part of the curriculum. And while Jia Hyson had a strong grasp for metaphors, story comprehension and use of language, his essay writing skills were too informal, his grammar wasn't the best and his handwriting was always rushed and messy.
Overall, his grasp on other languages was poor, his memory was poor, his understanding on different sentence structures were poor... And now they want Laozi to have to actively learn various animal languages to communicate with them?!
(ﾉಥ益ಥ）ﾉ ┻━┻ Learn your mother! Fuck!
'Add to the list of compensation demands,' Jia Hyson orders angrily. This world really liked to slap his face ah. 'I want the telepathy skill.'
If Bebe had a face it would be black. Their request for compensation was approved and they were allowed to write a list of demands to appease themselves with but there were obviously limits. It should be known that [Telapathy (Interspecies Edition) (Active)] is so good it's worth over 12.5 million p! That skill can be applied to all species! Interstellar and cultivation creatures included!
In short, this was not something one could just request even for compensation. While it was the system overseer's fault their reward world wasn't on easy mode it wasn't a monumental mistake that has produced nearly irreparable damage to the host's emotional well-being or soul.
'Bebe can negotiate for the subtitle skill and a high-level linguistic improvement pill,' Bebe finally compromises with some internal calculating. Bebe had a lot of connections which was also a factor on how it got such a good job as a Beta system. While it couldn't get such a price-y special skill, it could at least get a bit more leeway compared to some other systems ah.
Jia Hyson also understood. If he wanted that Telapathy skill he probably would have to sacrifice everything else on that list just for the overseers in charge to consider it. Overall, it wasn't worth it.
'Fine, sounds good,' he internally sighs. 'So what's on the list so far?'
Bebe also sighs. Between it's host and itself they were terrible shoppers. Jia Hyson was the type to be stingy until the moment he decides to buy something, then he would never stop shopping until he was half a foot into bankruptcy if someone doesn't stop him. Bebe was even worse. It likes to buy, buy, buy. If it was unsure between two things it would buy both!
Therefore both it's cheap host and it's shopaholic self had taken great pains to pick and choose as carefully as possible. Technically some things from the list can be denied but the overseer system in charge will look favourably on them if they don't ask for too many extravagant things and will be more likely to accept their terms and conditions.
So far they had asked for, from most important to least:
Special Skill [Subtitles (Active)]
High-level linguistic improvement pill x 1
Free Ultimate Grade Data and Universal Wi-fi Plan valid for one world's stay.
100cc Spiritual Energy x20
150,000p
One advantage in next world
One powerful advantage in next world with Imperial China setting
Free Skill Upgrade x2
Free System Skill x2
10cc Medium Grade Heavenly Energy
50% discount for two of Overlord Li Jun's products
A pair of HellS' winter line of demonic kinky boots made with pure Minotaur leather soaked in hellhound blood.'
'Aiyah, I feel like we could ask for more stuff from HellS.' Jia Hyson clicked his tongue regretfully, he had seen and fallen in love with the brand while browsing through BeBay. Not only were the clothing stylish and heart-throbbingly sexy with a dominant sadistic feeling to them, they were also very practical.
Even the cheapest HellS shoes were completely immune to hellfire level intensity flames and is also water, scratch and stain proof. The one he wanted could even give him a boost in leg strength and speed and allow him to walk on the thinnest ice. Unfortunately with his current amount of p it was something well out of his pay range.
If the other things on the list weren't so important he would have also bought the limited edition Ripped Virtues Jeans (Dead Sea Color), the Sinful Spring Couture Deviation Jacket (Cursed Forest Green Color), and the entire set of the Eternal Daaa~mnnation 2010 Fashion Line. They even recently opened an underwear line called Vivacious Vices that was like Victoria's S*cret but with messed up superpowers.
Like the G-strings under the Glittony line that can give you the ability to make anything you swallow down your throat delicious. Or those boxers from the Wicked Wrath line that make it so your thighs can crack open a watermelon...
Bebe: '...'
No! These sort of immoral things- Bebe really doesn't have the face to request them from a supervisor!
Rejected! Even if they had the capital and means to get freebies on such an exclusive and popular brand like HellS it must be rejected!
By this time Da Gong had finished his little lecture and Da Shen the dog and Xiao Shua the cat both woofed and meowed obediently, the very image of good yes-men. Their eyes glance to Jia Hyson with much less hunger in their eyes but there was a trace of disdain and unwillingness that they couldn't hide.
As a big dog and a prideful cat, the only reason they would bow down to a mere chicken is due to Da Gong's nature defying strength and ferocity. Later on they felt kinship and respect for the feathered tyrant but the point is, for an animal, might is right. If Da Gong was a weak chicken he would have long been their dinner.
But Da Gong wasn't and now he was the alpha of the village. Da Shen and Xiao Shua easily accepted it. But that didn't mean they were happy to have to treat a lizard like an equal under the big boss' commands. Seeing the way Da Gong put a wing down and so kindly allowed the lizard to crawl up his wing and onto his back, when the bird was usually so fastidious and abstinent, their unhappiness grew deeper.
If they do much as ruffled a feather out of place they would have been beaten till they cried uncle!
They watched Da Gong then carefully walk into the house with the lizard before finally squatting down. They watched the little lizard roll off the rooster and make a strangely sweet noise at the bird before being nudged toward...
Xiao Shua: "Meow!" My food bowl!
Da Gong slowly turns to stare at Xiao Shua.
Xiao Shua: '...'
Da Shen and Xiao Shua exchanges sullen gazes.
Is this the so called beauty that can destroy a country?
But why was the beauty…. so goddamn ugly???
