85 4.3

"Give me the story," Jia Hyson demands but outwardly his little lizard *cough* dragon mouth just made a rather angry and aggrieved cry. To an outsider, it was quite cute.

Bebe quickly complies with uncharacteristic meekness. After all, it also only got the information during the transition. While it found it pretty funny, it also knew that once it's host got all the information, including his identity in the story, he would probably lose it.

The story is called The Amazing Transmigrated Journey of the Mesmerisingly Divine Good For Nothing Village Girl.

Jia Hyson who had only read this far already wanted to stop. 

Tang Muxin, the main character, is a modern-day assassin slash spy slash acupuncture and secret chinese medical expert. 

Now Jia Hyson really wanted to stop.

Tang Muxin gets transmigrated to an ancient chinese novel, A Thousand Spring Flowers and Well Wishes, where she becomes one of the minor supporting characters who share the same name as her. Tang Muxin, a palace maid that betrays the main character- who also happened to be an agricultural student who had transmigrated there- due to her greed and ambition. This greed and ambition of the white-eyed wolf maid were however not explained in the story so Tang Muxin who becomes her at a young age realises after a week living as her that the character's personality mostly stems from her life in the Tang family.

…Okay but, no fucking duh. 

The original maid became a maid due to being sold by her scum family despite being the daughter of her father's childhood sweetheart. 

This is mainly because her mother, the childhood sweetheart that had originally come from a big family but eloped with her father out of love, was greatly envied and hated by the main wife for obvious reasons. The main wife thus secretly killed her. Her father was heartbroken but due to the schemings in his own courtyard grew to dislike the original daughter who was neither as good looking, intelligent or well behaved as his other children. 

To be fair, the original daughter was really not very smart. She knew that the main wife was somehow behind her mother's death and chose to straightforwardly pick fights and clumsily dig pits for her, relying mainly on her father's diminishing guilt and love to get out of trouble. Once that love was mostly replaced by disdain due to the trouble she caused it wasn't hard to sell her for benefits. 

The Tang family was the richest family in the village they lived in but no matter what, a connection to the palace is something no one would turn down. 

Jia Hyson personally thinks that this line of thinking was really… really far-fetched. The palace was filled with crouching tigers and hidden dragons, full of lies and treachery. Sending someone as apparently brash and stupid as that original daughter in would be pretty much seeking for death. After all, if she offends someone big who knows how the family could be implicated? Besides, wouldn't it have been more straightforward to have just sold her as a wife or something? Also, is the palace so in need of maids they would buy the original Tang Muxin who had a bad reputation at the time?

Jia Hyson doesn't really know much on the economics of slave trading and such but a human being must cost like, so much silver. Who would waste it on a pampered idiot? No sense at all.

Anyway, the point was, the original daughter was sent away and calmed down somewhat. However, her ambition and need for revenge only grew stronger with each passing year. Not only that so did her greed. 

Before she was content in wishing to destroy the main wife and gain the benefits as a child from her Tang family but after witnessing the glory and privilege of the imperial palace she found her Tang family's power and riches were like mosquito meat compared to it. Which, to be fair, it is. She also fell in love with one of the princes. You know. Because she wasn't enough of a cannon fodder character.

Through years of working and scheming in the palace, she was finally assigned to an important role- the main character's personal maid. Seeing this simple girl with a background even worse than her own be able to rise up so high made her teeth itch. With a smile, she vowed to do her best to bring her new mistress down and use her as a stepping stone but in the end, her schemes were once again exposed and this time she couldn't cry to daddy for help. In the end, the original maid died in prison, unable to bear the conditions, she bit her tongue and killed herself.

Tang Muxin who had read the story in her original world and had also gained the original maid's memories, past and future, promptly took one look and decided this was not the path for her. Her personality is cold, decisive, ruthless and emotionally stunted, she did no want to deal with this scum family and she certainly didn't want to live a life as a maid. However, she also didn't want to live by killing anymore either. 

In the end, after some planning and time, she ran away from the Tang family, taking some valuables, writing a note to her 'father' and went off on her own adventure.

Anyway, obviously as a super-spy assassin doctor, Tang Muxin, after some struggles, turns her luck around. She opens a business selling herbal medicine, soaps and medical consultations. She gets the respect of a small boss. Then a big boss. Then a bigger boss.

She picks up supporting male leads, she suppresses supporting female leads and then finally she catches the eye of the ill emperor. With her OP skills she cures him from what is later revealed as a very vicious and nearly untraceable poison. The emperor treats her like a life-saving benefactor and asks her to help him find the culprit, suspecting (and rightfully so) it's one of the princes and their mothers' behind the scheme. Tang Muxin accepts helplessly because even with her abilities, to go against the dragon king would be far too difficult to deal with.

This leads her to be introduced to the nine princes and opens the harem intrigue storyline.

When summarised like this it sounds like a pretty good transmigration story to be honest. There didn't even seem to be a male lead yet which is definitely novel given the shitty, shitty cliche genre. Unfortunately, Jia Hyson wouldn't be here if this was a good story.

And it really wasn't.

Because between the first chapter and the chapter that opens to the harem intrigue plotline there are nearly 2000 chapters bridging the gap.

Jia Hyson who had over 2000 chapters worth of story imprinted into his brain because he couldn't bother reading all of it and now wants to smack a bitch. 

Fuck, for a super spy assassin medical expert secret poison master and natural genius she sure works fucking slower than a dying snail crawling in the middle of a hot desert with salt cubes on it's back. 

Not only was it drawn out, the pacing was also weird. While most of everything was excruciatingly slow, some scenes would suddenly become insanely rushed or brushed over completely. For example, when she started her first store, there was a lot of content about finding the right place, meeting the neighbours who seem to be asking for a future faceslapping, hiring trustworthy staff and looking for a good supplier for herbs. 

Then once all the people were in place, and the reader was waiting to see the responses of the public toward the new store, the faceslapping, the possible clash between the new medicine store and the old one, the story seems to jump ahead by a month and briefly summarize how the store had become a big hit with the community after some near setbacks. This sort of big buildup with barely any payout... it didn't feel good to read at all. 

People would be unhappy naturally while reading this, however, they would be willing to forgive it the first time. But once it happened a second or third time... then it can only be called a parting of artistic differences. As in, the writer thinks they're artistic and the readers strongly differ in their opinions. 

Overall Jia Hyson could only say- boring premise, cliche plot, overdramatized yet bland writing with poor pacing, two-dimensional characters which mainly come and go with barely a few scenes in their hands, the few characters that stay have nearly no character development and it's really just too fucking long. 

From the reviews, it seems many also agreed.

'What the heck is this garbage? The FL is boring, the side characters are boring, the cannonfodder are stupid, cliche and boring. 

Like oh my god if I have to read another paragraph of FL's talent and beauty and such I'm going to transmigrate into my next life out of anger. For fuck's sake, even just flowering arranging and pouring tea can make people silently praise her elegant genius *rolls eyes* seriously is no one suspicious that this village girl suddenly had the bearing of an empress and the talent of a martial artist?! FL is so cold and lazy that she doesn't even make an excuse and these idiots just make up their own thoughts in their mind I mean come on, she's got the personality of an ice cube with beauty filters.

Hahahaha how are there 3000+ chapters of this nonsense? And it's on hiatus too? Seriously, no one is going to read this.

It was disappointing. I love when the modern girl transmigrates and does things like open a store or introduce soap etc, but this story has literally ruined the best part of it by time-skipping so many times all the interesting things are jumped over. It's so annoying!

Meh, would not recommend. Boring and long-winded.

For the first time in my life, I desperately wished for a super OP male lead to enter the picture just so the story could just DO something. I don't know if he comes in anytime soon, I dropped this at chapter 147 but I can guarantee you, nothing but family drama and her talking about the original story, getting ready to leave and not. actually. leaving. OH. MY. GOD.

This is so bland it makes the water I'm drinking taste like bubble tea. On the bright side, I am losing so much weight. So thanks I guess.

The MC is okay. I like her idea of completely leaving that toxic family environment and the plot entirely by doing her own thing, I like that she had to go through hardships at the beginning, nearly starving to death at one point but after that passed and she finally got her life on track it really gets boring as legit everything goes her way. Like, everything. There are so many coincidences and such it's ridiculous and hard to take it as seriously as before, not to mention boring.'

Overall, The Amazing Transmigrated Journey of the Mesmerisingly Divine Good For Nothing Village Girl has a rather appalling 2.3 stars.

However, even though it was a bad story, as expected of a reward world it's still fairly easy to fix. A lot of it is writing style which Jia Hyson could use his notebook to give the Author God pointers with, however, he can't helicopter parent the Author God unfortunately so there's no guarantee they would completely follow his ideas and critiques. 

Another problem is simply dullness, a lack of interesting things to read which can simply be improved through either an injection of drama, cuteness, comedy or romance. And with Jia Hyson's current identity, he was more inclined toward cuteness and comedy to lighten up the story.

…What was his identity anyway?

"Bebe?"

Bebe remains silent.

Jia Hyson knew this was a bad sign. After all, from the story, there was absolutely no sign of any fantasy elements at all other than the fantastically absurd luck of the main character.

"…Bebe."

"Host. Don't be angry." Bebe quietly says. "Your small body is currently in a state of starvation, it can't take too much stress."

"Oh my god, I knew it," Jia Hyson immediately panics, "I'm not actually a dragon, you just said that to fuck with me, truth is, I'm just a tiny yellow gecko, aren't I?" 

Bebe: '...' Really doesn't want to say it.

Jia Hyson wasn't a tiny yellow gecko.

It was worse than that.

Originally, there was meant to be a mascot character. 

A small baby dragon. 

The main character Tang Muxin would rescue it and the dragon will eventually become a small golden thigh but at the same time be a source of grief as other characters will try to steal the dragon. Not necessarily because they thought it was a dragon, but because it was a weakness of the usually cold and OP Tang Muxin. 

However, for reasons, the Author ended up dropping idea. Well. Not completely. 

As a small inside joke slash Easter egg to herself, the author kills off the little dragon mascot and lets a scavenging and hungry Tang Muxin, who had recently left the Tang family, find it's body hidden in a burrow. There is a paragraph describing the strange carcass before Tang Muxin in her hunger decides 'Fuck This' and roasts and eats the strange animal. Eating it's meat gives her energy and makes her feel temporarily strong enough to survive. 

In retrospect, this does explain why her luck became so good afterwards.

Jia Hyson: '...' This is hands down the worst non-character role ever. 

Jia Hyson was so angry he almost fainted. What sort of sadist author as a joke would use an unused character as a roast dinner? Even he wouldn't do that okay! That's terrible! What the fuck!

Grinding his tiny milk teeth, his adorable big slightly slanted eyes narrow. "Bebe, I just realised I never asked.. who exactly chooses what identity I use in every world?"

"…Bebe doesn't know. The system world makes sure that information is confidential." For good reason too from the looks of it ah. 

"Fuck! Fucking fuck fuck fuck!" Jia Hyson screams to the heavens but in reality, his little dragon mouth was just making incomprehensible shrieking noises. Very cute. Bebe videoed it secretly and turned it into a gif.

Jia Hyson didn't notice, too busy being angry. He won't die from starvation since he has Bebay and already bought some food in the previous world but this still sucks! If the author essentially discarded him before fully forming his character would that mean he's probably the only dragon currently on this earth?! 

Who is he going to fuck in this Ancient Chinese story ah?! T-Rex?!

Bebe: 'Host.. Bebe knows this is ancient china but it's not THAT ancient,' Also why is that your main grievance here?

"Wuwuwuwu how is this cute? I can't attract anyone like this? What 'adored by the heavens even the emperor must bow to me' bullshit? Isn't this clearly cursed?" He continues to wail dramatically. 

'You're a dragon in ancient chinese times. The heavens obviously will adore a dragon and only a dragon can make an emperor bow so easily.' Bebe points out ruthlessly, 'This is technically the most appropriate form for your request.'

'FUUUCCC-' 

Bebe lets him cry for a while before finally stepping back in with an electronic sigh, "Host, look at your stats."

Jia Hyson blinks and mentally opens his profile in his mind before gaping.

There were so many special skills!

His previous characters were all good looking but held no stand out skills whatsoever. Complete flower vases. It was Jia Hyson who had to grind up skills himself. But in this scrawny little lizard body…

[Heaven's Baby, Your dad's a CEO? Well mine are the heavens! (Inactive)]

[Lucky Charm, Finding 100 yuan on the road will no longer be a dream! (Inactive)]

[Glowing with Fortune, The aura of gold is the aura of wealth!]

[Year of the Dragon, This year I am a dragon, next year hopefully I am also a dragon (Active)]

[Fortune Favours the Fools, For those that amuse me they shall be rewarded (Inactive)]

[Cutie Beam, Cutie BEEAAAAAM!!! 💕✨💕✨💕]

[Selling Meng One Paw At A Time (Active), With one paw I will kneel at your cuteness!]

[Dance of the Dragons, A flick of the tail, a twist of the claw, come, let us dance (Inactive)]

[Weather Control, Thunder and lightening it's very exciting! (Inactive)]

[Saintess Soul Bind, Who doesn't want to find someone to worship you ah? (Conditions not met)]

[Strength of the Heavens, Pretty self-explanatory, do I really have to make something up for th- (Inactive)]

[Pure Golden Dragon Blood Lineage, Blood is stronger than water and gold is better than silver. I don't know a good way to end this but this is a pretty cool thing (Inactive)]

[Golden Dragon's Karmic Insight, Even though I can't see the future I can guess it well enough ah (Inactive)]

...

..

.

So good! So many skills! And none of them seemed spicy chicken either!

Jia Hyson's golden eyes brighten, they were shining like they held an infinite number of twinkling stars in them. Even though most are inactive, he's sure that it's currently due to his small body and weak state that he's unable to use those skills which is understandable. The point was the quantity okay?

More importantly, he had told Bebe to buy the system skill [Skill Stealer] which would give him a chance to take a random skill his character inherently has. Due to his poor luck he had never got the chance to even use it but now… Ah, ah, he's so excited! 

This is almost better than sex!

Sefu and Drake Shards in the safe space: '…' 

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