32 Don't throw up during your wedding
Xi Zirui has been jostling to and fro inside the narrow sedan for up to an hour now.
He assumes he's being driven to the Imperial palace, in this very lonely wedding procession.
The road is quiet all the way. Clearly no one has come out to celebrate the addition of another member to the imperial family.
Ni Ni chimes, "There was a small gathering of curious people when the original left his hometown in his wedding robes and got in the wedding sedan."
So, not only was the original stupid, but he clearly wasn't very popular either.
As much as Xi Zirui isn't looking forward to finding out just what mess he has stepped into, his experience in the previous world taught him it's always better to be prepared.
"Ni Ni, tell me everything you know about the original, don't skim the details. I don't want any nasty surprises this time around."
---
By the time the road becomes more even, which means the two unfortunate souls carrying his sedan have probably reached cobbled roads, and therefore the Imperial city, Xi Zirui has a pretty good idea of whose life he's currently inhabiting.
It's not a pretty picture.
This world's original Xi Zirui was a spoiled, entitled, little brat.
As the first son of the Xi family he was never supposed to marry into any other family, including the Imperial family.
As the heir of a noble family, the original Xi Zirui was expected to pursue either an academic, or military career, achieve merits in his field, and establish his own household with a first wife of his family's choosing, and then as many concubines as he wanted.
Xi Zirui, however, spoiled little princeling that he was, didn't have any mind for scholarly pursuits, nor the constitution for the military, and establishing his own household seemed like a lot of work; better that someone else set it up for him instead.
The only thing this world's Xi Zirui wanted to do was play his guqin, his only real talent, and gamble his family's money away with his entourage of equally hedonistic young masters at the nearest brothel.
Old Master Xi lost his patience with his lazy son, and gave him an ultimatum, he was to find a career and establish himself or he would be completely cutoff from his family's coffers.
That's when one of his friends commented in passing that the Emperor was fond of beautiful things and people, and liked to surround himself and his court with them.
That made the rusty gears in Xi Zirui's mind start turning, perhaps for the first time in his life, and he decided that financial stability and future success lie in being part of the Imperial Harem - like an idiot.
After that, he pulled every string he could, to get close to the capital and make an appearance in court. Ni Ni doesn't specify how, but somehow he seduced the Emperor into marrying him, this might have included sending him raunchy paintings, Xi Zirui doesn't want to know, and frankly doesn't care.
Poor Master Xi couldn't do anything. By the time he found out, the Imperial summons had already arrived.
The point is, Xi Zirui came from a wealthy noble family, which from what Ni Ni says, wasn't even awful - which is saying a lot considering they're talking about feudalism here - but he threw it all away, so he could lose his independence and become part of the Imperial Palace's furniture. Something he absolutely didn't have to, unlike so many of the poor women who never had a choice.
"Ni Ni, am I the only Xi Zirui in the multiverse to have any common sense?" he asks, talking mostly to himself.
"I think Host is the first Xi Zirui to have made such a claim in the whole multiverse," Ni Ni replies, a little snarky.
Xi Zirui isn't sure he appreciates her cheek, but the sedan comes to a standstill, and suddenly he has more pressing concerns.
The red privacy curtains around the little window on his right are harshly pulled aside and he comes to face with a middle-aged man with sweating brow. "Ah, young master Xi, this humble servant is called Du and will guide you through the preparations for the ceremony. I'm afraid we must go at once, His Majesty is very busy."
Xi Zirui follows after eunuch Du and the flurry of servants that accompany him feeling a little uneasy.
'His Majesty is very busy?' On his own wedding day?
That doesn't bode well for Xi Zirui's standing in the imperial household.
---
His worst worries are confirmed when he's rushed through secondary hallways inside the palace, which are glaringly absent red garlands or any other wedding decoration.
Clearly no one in the Imperial household is making a big deal of this wedding, lest of all the Emperor.
Ni Ni spent so long telling him all about the original Xi Zirui, there wasn't much time to discuss the Emperor.
Right now, Xi Zirui would really appreciate some primers.
Ni Ni chimes, and the holo screen above his wrist pops up showing him a wall of text regarding Emperor Ai of Su and all his accomplishments.
Xi Zirui skims quickly through the whole thing, all the while following after Eunuch Du, and the servants through serpentine hallways.
The only thing he gathers is that Emperor AI is an accomplished military leader, charitable and concerned with his people, but a little too trusting when it comes to his closest advisors.
He's also 41.
That shouldn't be a surprise but it somehow makes Xi Zirui's mind grind to a halt. He never considered that Han Yu might be much older than him in this world.
That is if he even is the Emperor, because judging by the terrible paintings Ni Ni shows him, the Emperor could be anyone. Xi Zirui honestly hopes the thin spindly mustache is just the painter taking creative liberties.
Also worrying is the sheer numbers his harem boasts. One Empress, 32 consorts, and 112 concubines. Xi Zirui is about to make it 113.
Ni Ni chimes again. "Host should try to use the Emperor's favor in order to be promoted to consort, that way he would have authority over the concubines, and would only be subject to the Empress, and the Consorts of higher rank than himself."
She makes it sound to easy. Xi Zirui curses her under his breath.
---
He's finally led to a remote pavilion in a charming courtyard surrounded by plum trees. Eunuch Du leads him inside and announces him to the occupants of the room.
A few government officials, whose office Xi Zirui can't place, some more servants, demurely staring at their feet, and the Emperor himself, splendid in his wedding robes, and absent any awful mustaches.
Two things are immediately apparent:
1. The Emperor is not Han Yu.
2. The Emperor is Su Xueyi.
Xi Zirui feels the ground move under his feet when the Emperor looks up at him, and his cheeks dimple in that familiar smile that once upon a time Xi Zirui found charming.
Age hasn't made Su Xueyi lose any of his beauty, if anything it has honed it into a sharp blade, cut more definition into his sharp jaw, and high nose. He looks regal, just as an Emperor should, and Xi Zirui thinks he's going to be sick.
How can this be happening again?
The Emperor must mistake the paleness of his face for nerves, and gets up from his seated position to take him by the hand and lead him towards the altar, where the food offerings have already been placed.
"This Emperor hopes the journey wasn't too taxing for young master Xi," Su Xueyi says, folding his warm palm over Xi Zirui's hand.
Xi Zirui wants to scream in his face and then pass out.
"Host, remember, you need to win the Emperor's favour," Ni Ni says, and then, "Ni Ni is really sorry about this."
Somehow, Xi Zirui doubts it.
Swallowing all his pride, and anger, Xi Zirui gives the Emperor one sweeping look from beneath his lashes, and says, "Please, Your Majesty, call this one Xi-fei (1)."
He doesn't miss the way Su Xueyi's eyes light up with hunger.
---
All in all, the ceremony takes less than ten minutes, and then Xi Zirui is married. The Emperor apologizes to him and tells him he must hurry, but that he'll visit Xi Zirui in his rooms as soon as possible.
Xi Zirui hopes the expression he makes looks like flustered anticipation, instead of absolute and utter dread.
Eunuch Du guides him through the palace again, this time leading him into the Harem quarters, proper.
He tells Xi Zirui that all male members of the harem have their own pavilions separate from the women, to avoid the risk of polluting the bloodline.
Xi Zirui understands the practical concerns. Of course the Emperor wouldn't want a gaggle of bastards running around. He just doesn't know how the Emperor, and the servants and eunuchs of the palace, are supposed to stop that from happening if any two people are really determined.
Ni Ni fills him in. "If any member of the harem is found to have sexual relations that result in an illegitimate pregnancy, both perpetrators will be executed, and their families with them."
Xi Zirui swallows dryly. Right, that's one way to do it.
The pavilion he's led to is quaint and picturesque. It sits on the margin of a a sleepy lake peppered with lotus flowers and mandarin ducks, and is shadowed on the east side by two towering weeping willows. He's a little disconcerted that the auspicious sight of the mandarin ducks swimming in pairs is overshadowed by the melancholy of the weeping willows.
If this is meant to be the home of a beloved spouse, why have two living metaphors for loneliness planted right next to it?
The pavilion has three suits of private rooms, a reception hall, for entertaining guests, a study with a beautiful guqin lying over a low table, and even a small, secluded hot spring, hidden away between a bamboo thicket.
Xi Zirui takes it all in in a daze. Even this pavilion which is small by Imperial standards, and not particularly lavish, according to what Xi Zirui has studied, is still more spacious than any house he's ever lived in, and more richly decorated.
And for what? So that a disfavored concubine can rot away in splendor?
Eunuch Du opens the doors to Xi Zirui's bedroom and opens the windows letting in the late morning light. "This humble one hopes Xi-fei finds everything to his liking. Xi-fei's servants will be arriving at the pavilion in a moment. Xi-fei should make good use of them and put them to work."
He's gone after that, and Xi Zirui is left alone in an empty pavilion with only his thoughts for company.
It doesn't fail his notice that unlike the rest of the palace, his bedroom has been decorated in lively shades of read. The bed has been invitingly turned down, in a way that doesn't leave room for misunderstanding.
When the Emperor comes here later, Xi Zirui is expected to fulfill his marital duties and consummate the marriage.
He's considering his bleak future, when he hears a loud crash in the hallway outside his room, as if someone has climbed inside through the window.
A kidnapping attempt this early on?
Heavens, Xi Zirui hopes so.
He walks in on a tall man, dressed in splendid blue robes embroidered with soaring cranes and pine trees. The upper half of his silky hair is secured in place by an intricate silver crown, and judging by the cut of his robes and his expensive accessories, this man is clearly part of the imperial family.
When he turns around, all the breath freezes in Xi Zirui's lungs.
The smirk curling the corner of a plush mouth upward, the sharp eyebrows like twin swords framing the up-swept angle of two clever eyes, the upwards turn at the end of a steep nose, the towering cheekbones, all of him looking as if he's been cut from the rarest jade.
Han Yu.
Not a day ago, Xi Zirui was smiling up at those eyes before everything was cruelly taken away from him.
And now Han Yu is here again, smirking down at Xi Zirui as if no time has passed at all.
He cups his fist into his right hand, and bows subtly at the waist towards Xi Zirui. "I hope I didn't scare Xi-fei," his smirk is not at all apologetic, "This prince couldn't help his curiosity."
Xi Zirui remains still as Han Yu walks circles around him with his hands leisurely clasped behind his back.
He nods once, as if he's appraising Xi Zirui for slaughter and then announces, "This prince is glad to see Imperial Father's taste in whores has improved."
---
(1)- fei is an honorific for imperial concubines. Basically, Xi-fei means Imperial Concubine Xi. I'm keeping the pinyin because writing "Imperial Concubine Xi" every time someone addresses Xi Zirui is extremely annoying and repetitive.
