105 105. Ruminate

Life is unpredictable, unprecedented, and unsympathetic. When I grew up alone, I never had to think twice for another person. I am not highlighting my selfish self, I am just saying what I grew up with. People are multifaceted and my dark side was that since I was constantly alone, I worked alone as well when I grew up into a fine young man. Well, not so fine anymore but still a teeny weeny bit okayish to pass off as a decent human being. I have been in relationships but not quite long enough that it would imprint in me. And I can't determine what I have with Elian at the moment. Whether if it counts as a relationship even. I am sure it doesn't mean anything but we will see to it soon. I can't keep putting it off any longer. There are so many things that I have been putting off in life that they're merely only a ticking time bomb waiting to burst and unleash all hell onto my life at this point.

"Are you ready to be a parent, Adian?"