"That day I learned to never give my heart away"

"Did you hear Sect Leader Jin Rulan disappeared!?" "What!?" "I heard he ran away!" "why would he run away from his own sect!?"

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2 weeks before Jin Ling disappeared

Jin Ling's pov

"elder Jin wangyong may I go on a night hunt with Sizhui, Jingyi, and Zizhen" I said bowing "hmm fine but this is your last night hunt understand" " but-" " Do you understand Jin ling or do I have to change my mind!" " I understand" I said looking away, " go and hide those bruises on your face or else!" " yes!" I said turning on my heel and walking out of elder wangyong's room. Once I got to my room I immediately take a bath, stripping of my robes and undergarments and get in the tub looking at my bruises ' I'm so fucking weak!'.

After the bath

After I took a bath a put on my clean robes, took Suihua and ran out my room not even bothering to answer questions ' I can't wait to see Sizhui, Jingyi, and Zizhen, maybe I'll be happy' I got on Suihua and flew away to gusu.

Arriving at Gusu

once I got to gusu, I got off Suihua, I started to walked towards the entrance and saw Sizhui at the entrance "Hello, young master Jin" " I told you to stop calling me that Sizhui!" " sorry jin ling" I cross my arms over my chest, " where's Zizhen?" " he's with Jingyi" "oh..." I uncross my arms sighing, I look away for a second and look back at sizhui, he was giving me a worried look, ' Don't let your guard down stupid!' "let's go before they leave us" I walk past sizhui with him fast on my trail.

At the meeting site

Once Sizhui and me got to the place where we always meet with the others.... they weren't there "Sizhui didn't you say Jingyi and Zizhen was together waiting for us?" I ask him, looking him stright in the eyes, " yes, but where are they?" I was shocked and confused he looked confused too, "let's go find them together jin ling" Sizhui started walking around looking for them, I followed him, it's been 30 minutes since than and we still couldn't find them 'where are they?!' I wanted to scram and cry because I was scared that they could be hurt when i heard someone talking " Zizhen can I tell you something" I look at Sizhui and he was already looking at me, we both started walking towards that direction to find Jingyi and Zizhen, I was about to scold them for leaving without telling us but Sizhui pulled me away and ducked into a Bush ?????? I looked at him confused only to find him with a finger on his lips telling me to shush ' why is he telling me to be quiet? " what is it Jingyi?" " I'm in love with you!" I was shocked, so was Sizhui we looked at each other and looked back on Jingyi and Zizhen " Jingyi I-" " I know your dating the young mistress but... I had to tell you somehow it hurt when I saw you kiss him... I just kept my feelings inside so I don't break our friendship"

"....." " this was stupid I should have never-" that day my heart broke, Zizhen was kissing Jingyi, I must have been crying because Sizhui turned me towards him and wiped my tears, ' was I not good enough?' I got up and still have my gaze on them " if you didn't love me you could have said so" Zizhen and Jingyi jumped and looked at me with guilt and shocked, Sizhui stood next to me "Jin ling it isn't-" " it's fine" " really" "really" "What!" "I said it's fine I don't care, let's just be friends again" ' just one more time, let me be strong don't cry!' I started walking past them and they followed me. " Jin ling are you sure your ok?" I looked at Sizhui and nodded "yeah I'm fine Sizhui lets just get this night hunt over with" ' before I break down' I wipe my tears and put on my mask. After the hunt was over I got on Suihua and flew back to my sect not looking back, once I got to Lanling I ran to my room locking the door. I walked to my bed and laied down on it ' I really am a ugly, weak, pathetic little mistress aren't I' I felt my cheeks getting went so I put my hand on my left cheek and saw I was crying "....." I broke down that night, crying all night not caring for the beating I was gonna get when I didn't report I was back.

That day was the last time I saw them, That day made me learn to never give my heart, That day I never learned to love again, and that very day broke me.

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