I feel like I can't go to university anymore. Everything makes me feel pain. Life is meaningless. What should I do...

I was a freshman who had just entered university last year. Originally, I came to Shanghai full of expectations, hoping to live a beautiful and fulfilling university life. However, things often don't go as planned. When I was in high school, I was depressed because of the pressure of my studies. After the college entrance examination, I entered a first-tier university with a score that I wasn't disappointed with. He wanted to start over. Last year, I welcomed my first love. I call it love, but I still don't know what happened or what I was thinking at that time. In short, on the surface, it looks like that boy likes me very much, but every time I'm with him, I always feel uneasy. I feel that this person isn't thinking about me. Later on, I even felt that I might have really fallen in love with him. I thought that it was a pure relationship, so I gave it my all in return. However, sometimes he made me so afraid and made my heart ache. I felt that I was too stupid and naive. To be honest, sometimes a feeling of shame always made me want to take revenge on him. He later told me that there was once a sincere relationship in front of me…I ignored him. My rationality told me that I didn't want such a man. He looks like a good guy and is liked by many girls. I don't like him to have any relationship with people from the past and present. I've never been in a relationship before, nor have I come into contact with feelings. My family education will never allow me to fall in love at a young age. Actually, my family is against this relationship. They don't want me to fall in love too early. That's why I always felt that I was very blank and confused about feelings and love. Perhaps, when I was at the age of first awakening, I also had a crush on the boys in my class, but in the end, it was all over and nothing was left in my heart. My parents were strict with me. I had to report to my parents who I was going out with and when I was going home. When I get home, they'll ask me what I've done. As she grew up, she wanted to live an independent life. She became rebellious and would get angry at her mother, but she would regret it later. Perhaps I did go overboard with some things and hurt my parents 'hearts, but my mother didn't seem to forgive me completely. Some of the words she said were like knives cutting into my heart. Slowly, my personality became silent and pessimistic. Before middle school, my grades were always among the top few in school. My parents were proud of me. After high school, my environment and mentality changed greatly. There were many times when I was depressed and desperate, so my grades fell very quickly. My parents began to be disappointed. They didn't think that I could bring honor like before. The more I felt like this, the more I felt that I was just a commodity in my parents 'eyes. They would love or not love me because of my value, not because of me. When he was young, his family's conditions were not good. Something happened to his family, and he almost instantly went bankrupt. Therefore, when I was young, the adults would praise me for being sensible. I would hide the toys, dolls, and other things that I liked in my heart and not tell my parents because I knew that they would do their best to help me realize them. Those were the most extravagant things at that time. My aunt left me when I was young. Although she wasn't my closest relative, she was the closest and most spoiled to me during those years. When I was 12 years old, I knew for the first time how cruel and painful death was. However, it was also the first time I knew that everything could change after death. Nothing could be eternal. I have a very rich relative in my family. When we were in middle school, our families lived very close to each other, but the gap between the rich and the poor made the family very far apart. Every time you visit their house, you will feel envious and inferior. Their children have never called me sister. They always call me by my name. Yes, from then on, I knew that the world was unfair. Money can change everything, and poverty can only be looked down upon. That was why he had been more competitive since he was young. He would only be satisfied if his results reached the first place. When I grew up, my family's conditions gradually improved, but my parents worked very hard. Looking at their growing white hair, I felt sad. I felt that I was still spending my parents 'hard-earned money at this age. I wanted to go out and work part-time, but my family said that I didn't lack the money and let me study in peace. The university she went to wasn't a famous one, and it wouldn't be easy for her to find a job in the future. It would be more troublesome for engineering girls to find a job. It had been almost a year since I entered university. My independence was quite poor. Although I was sad in the past, there was always a warm nest that made me feel safe. Now, I didn't like the feeling of living in the dormitory. I always felt like I was suspended in the air. I was a girl, and I was in university. Everyone had changed their hairstyles and styles. I thought my looks were average, but I didn't know how to dress. I still looked like a child.
She always felt that there was a gap between her and her peers. She didn't know why she didn't like what they liked and gradually became a little distant from the crowd. She liked to be alone and lively, and gradually felt that she was very indifferent to the things around her. So I once wondered if I had lost the ability to love and brought harm to others. That boy told me that no one had ever walked into your life, and you had never walked into someone else's life. Yes, I've always believed that life should be cautious and never dare to confess myself easily. Last year, I completely rejected him, but I did feel sad in my heart. It's been a few months, and when I saw him eating with another girl, I didn't feel sad. I just felt a little sad. Thinking back to the past, I realized more. My friends said that I couldn't get married. I didn't even know how to handle such an outstanding man. Some friends also said that I still hadn't met my true love. What I want most is to be like the ancients and return to the garden. However, this was simply impossible. Faced with a confused future, I didn't know where my next step would be. To be honest, finding a stable and reliable job was definitely not my goal. What I was afraid of was that in another three years of this degenerate time, I would be worn down until I had no edge or edges, and I would lose my original dream. That's why I want to leave university. I want to quit school and go out into society to get in touch with real feelings. But I can't ignore my family. This decision is too rash and risky. And if I continue like this, I really feel like I'm suffering.

Answer 1

The first thing to do when encountering such problems was to remain calm and not blame yourself too much or be depressed. University life was not always smooth sailing. Sometimes, there would be some difficulties and challenges, but these problems could be overcome.

Here are some suggestions that might be helpful:

1. Ask for help: If you feel confused or unable to deal with your own problems, you can seek the help of professionals such as a counselor or counselor. They could provide support and guidance to help him find a solution to his problem.

2. Find your hobbies: University life can be a good opportunity to find your own hobbies. Try some new activities and hobbies to make yourself feel more fulfilling and meaningful.

3. Make a plan: Make a clear plan, including goals, schedules, and action plans, so that you can study and live more orderly. This can help you take better control of your life and reduce anxiety and stress.

4. Build a support network: Build connections with friends, family, or classmates to share your thoughts and feelings. They could provide support and encouragement, and at the same time, make him feel more warm and caring.

Find motivation: Find something that motivates you, such as rewards, achievements, or dreams. This would make him feel more motivated and motivated, and at the same time increase his self-confidence and self-esteem.

The most important thing is to maintain a positive attitude and confidence that you can overcome any difficulties. No matter what problem you encounter, you must try to find a solution instead of giving up.