Is there something wrong with my heart... Would he commit a crime if he continued to develop?

"I always thought that I had some psychological problems. Since I was young, I didn't like to do my homework and was very naughty. I was good at other subjects but I was always bad at mathematics. We had a math test every week. At that time, my father set a rule for me. If I was a few points away from 60 points, I would hit it. I would use a very thick and long shoehorn to hit wherever I went. My math score was always in the 20s and 30s. My father had a bad temper. Sometimes, if I didn't do my homework or if I didn't know how to do a question, I would be beaten." Sometimes, he would hit me in the head with his phone, so I was on tenterhooks every day. He had been hitting me like this for six years. The most ruthless time was when he broke the thick shoehorn. During this period, I thought about committing suicide. I thought about killing my parents when I grew up. Sometimes, I was already standing in front of the window, but I just didn't dare to jump down. Once, I wrote a suicide note. I wanted to jump, but in the end, I didn't. I hid the suicide note. Later, my parents accidentally found the suicide note. They reflected on themselves and let me transfer to an international school where the academic pressure was not so great. They did not beat me much. When I was in the international school, I picked up a cat on the road. I brought it home for four years now, but I sometimes abused it. Sometimes it would steal food, or sometimes I would put it by my side. After a while, it would not come close to me or run away. I would become very irritable. I would catch it and beat it. The more I heard its screams, the more I beat it. I would strangle it hard, wanting to strangle it to death. Sometimes I even wanted to punch it to death. Since young, the adults had always said that I was very obedient, but they really didn't know that such an obedient person would be like this behind my back... Even though I'm usually very angry when I see people abusing animals online, I find that I've become such a person. I'll regret it after hitting them, but I can't control myself... I will give the cat away as soon as possible, but what should I do? I want to change these problems

Answer 1

Online Literature Knowledge replied,"

In novels, the inner state and emotional changes of the characters were often important elements in portraying the characters. If you feel confused, anxious, uneasy, or in pain, you may be experiencing some kind of psychological distress. However, this did not mean that the crime had already happened.

Criminal behavior was usually an extreme behavior that had nothing to do with one's inner state. If you are worried about committing a crime, please seek professional help such as psychological consultation or treatment. Many organizations and institutions provide psychological consultation and treatment services. You can seek help to deal with any possible psychological distress.